Night Soul

I am only six years old and I do not know where I am. I am small and afraid and I do not like the smell of this pillow or how hard the bed is. I liked the smell of my old pillow and the softness of my other mattress. I do not know the lady or the man who have big, smiley teeth. The lady smells like lavender. I do like that smell because it reminds me of the purple tree flowers that my Nana had in her yard. My mummy used to lift me up and put my face right into the pretty flowers and they smelled delicious. I do not know where my mummy has gone. She told me all the time that I was her sunshine, her only sunshine and that she loved me to the moon and back. She would tell me that she would never give up and she is not far away. I do not know what that means. I know she is not here. The lady and the man say I can call them mummy and daddy, but they are not my mummy and daddy. My mummy has long hair and dark eyes that crinkle when she laughs. My mummy sings songs to me and her favorite one is about me being her sunshine. I do not really know who my daddy is, but I know he is not the man with the grizzly beard and the big voice. I look out the window and it is dark and scary because my teddy bear is not here. He is gone too. Maybe he is with mummy. I hear funny sounds out my window. The new mummy comes in and helps me to lie down on the new pillow. She tucks the soft blanket up under my chin. She smiles with her big teeth and she tells me she will keep me safe. I like the sound of her soft voice. I like that she will keep me safe.

Outside the window there is a big tree and the new mummy points to it and says that sometimes when the moon is high in the sky, making it bright, almost like daytime, if I am quiet as a mouse, I might be able to see the beautiful barn owl who comes at night and sits in the tree. She tells me that people rarely see barn owls because they are so quiet when they fly, that they are like the soft whoosh of the wind. She says I might hear the whoosh, but by the time I look, the owl will be gone. The new mummy says that if I see the barn owl I can be sure that he is there to help me to have courage, even though I am in a new home, in a new bed, with a new mummy and a new daddy. She says the barn owl is my helper. She says he is like a spirit bird. I decide that I am going to be as quiet as a mouse and I will wait for my owl. The new mummy kisses me gently on my cheek and she caresses my cheek and says she is right across the hall if I need her. I feel safe as she tip toes out of the room and closes the door, leaving me in the still, quiet of the night.

My eyes do not close. I look out the window and I see the big, bright, round moon. I can see the branches of the trees swaying in the sky. I am not afraid because the new mummy said she will keep me safe and she is right across the hall. I am holding my breathe and trying to be as quiet as a mouse. I think I am really good at being like a mouse because I hear a whoosh and when I look, I can see a big owl sitting in the tree. He is looking right in the window at me. His face is like the white heart I made my mummy at school for Valentine's day. She held the heart to her heart when I gave it to her, and told me that our hearts will always be joined. His eyes are dark, like my mummy's eyes are, and he is looking at me and I feel safe.

It seems like years and years have passed by. My new mummy and new daddy are not new anymore. They just are. My tummy mummy, as I now call her, is still gone. She calls me on the telephone from time to time, and my mum and dad let me talk to her when it is safe. I told her about my special owl and his heart face that reminds me of our joined hearts. She tells me in a sad voice that I am her sunshine and that she loves me to the moon and back. I tell her that I love her to infinity. I tell her that every night when my owl comes to me, he helps me to know that I am safe. I tell her that I ask him to keep her safe too, until we can be together again. I tell her that he is my spirit bird and that if she is as quiet as a mouse and waits patiently, he might come to her too. I tell her to listen for the whoosh of the wind and when it caresses her face she will know that our heart owl is carrying my love to where she is. I tell her I am strong and that I am resilient and that my owl is light in the darkness, and that he will light the way for us to be together again.

My mum and dad smile their big smiles, as I hang up the phone and they tell me that my heart is as pure and bright as the sunshine. The tell me that I am an old soul filled up with so much love that I can easily love my tummy mummy right into infinity. They say they understand why I am her only sunshine and why she loves me to the moon and back. My mum and dad keep me safe so my love can keep on growing. In the distance I hear my owl screech and I know he is calling out my love to her. My spirit rises. I am strong. I am resilient. I am safe. I am loved.