New Years Day

“It’s another day of pouring another drink and another day of waiting for love.” Zenei murmured, twisting and killing the last cent of his cigarette in the ash tray, over filling with his past drags. The Uncle would always pour his thoughts into the ash tray. Each puff, a piece of wisdom finding peace. Ben Geinon, his delighted nephew would often find himself the victim of Zenei’s company, and although it was overwhelming at times, it soothed the soul.

Ben peered over the balcony of his uncles apartment, the beach waves nurturing the cool wind that would always settle itself on skin. The man was rich. Very rich. It was unknown if he was richer in wisdom or wealth. Regardless of that riddle each of those riches would intertwine and make cause for the difference between being normal and being smart. Ben continued his gaze with the surf, ready to say his opening line. “Uncle....”. Zenei lit up another cigarette, almost preparing himself for another session of thought. “How do you know if the love you search for is the love that suits you?”

The first puff crept it’s way through his body. The lungs were used to it. “Well firstly how do you know that the search itself suits you?” Ben’s gaze moved from the sea to his Uncle’s flat and honest eyes. “The moment you search for something, that is the moment you loose all hope of finding it. Now they say that searching for the things you want is good. And it is. But not with love. How can you search for your one in 7 billion, boy you can’t even search for your wallet sometimes.” Zenei loved spilling his words like drinks off a table, but the snide comments he adored more. He continued, proud of his remark but humble in the idea that it was just one of his millions. “When i was your age, 18, I met a beautiful girl. Yes everybody mentions that sentence when they babble on about their childhood, but this specimen was seperate. You could tell that she was raised by parents who were different just the same.” The wind died off and finally the smoke from Zenei’s stick could flow in still air. “ You do all the things that fresh adults do. Go on dates, meet the parents, make love, blah blah blah...” Ben saw his Uncles eyes drop just slightly. “And at the time, you think that’s love. You think that’s a way of life, and in your eyes she’s the one, in their eyes you’re the one.”

Zenei paused, taking one last puff; drowning the small fire in the pit. Both of his hands were now crossed on the glass table they both sat out. Zen peered out at the same ocean his nephew was just lost in a few moments ago. He could almost see her out there, swaying in the salt water, elegant as usual. Zenei’s words had no end, he continued with the final blow as he stood up from his chair. “ But in the worlds eyes you are nothing to each other.” Ben was taken back. Never had he seen such vulnerability in this man. It was respectable. But it wasn’t the desired response. But then again most of his responses weren’t. The man continued with sway. “Sometimes you can’t change the direction of a big river. It’s going to flow a certain way whether you like it or not. Whether you love them or not.”

Zen would often say things that would make you reassess your life. A cigarette, a deep breath and some words that combined, seeming to make sense. A potion of knowledge, the result. Zen walked back into his beach front apartment, leaving Ben in shock. The beach never appeared so unwelcoming.

Ben dashed back inside and into the lounge room, unhappy with his Uncle’s reply. “ You know, you can’t just say some words and think they mean something! I’m in deep hurt and your conjured up responses are definitely not making the situation better. Exhausted with his outburst, Ben slumped in the couch opposite his uncle. The warm, fresh stench of tobacco spoke louder than Zen did. “Well? Are you just going to sit there and begin devising another sentence or are you actually going to help me!?.”

Zen chuckled quietly to himself and looked Ben dead in the eye. “Ben. I can’t solve your problems regarding love. This can”, he retorted, gingerly raising his glass in the air. Zen always has his front of appearing to know the answer to every thing but within his skin, he knows nothing. You can act strong and powerful but when your alone in the dark at 2AM in the morning in a room, you are weak. It is true. But it must feel good. Right? To let your muscles loosen and let your breath reach its rhythm once more. Like you have held it in too long and too late. Eyes don’t lie they say. They only speak the truth. Zen’s gaze speaks a truth you don’t want but do deserve.

New Year’s Eve, The previous day.

“Ben. Wait I can’t...” Jess tried to make her plea, like a bid in an auction. “Shhhh!” Ben screamed. “The countdown is beginning!” Thousands of smiles and in between, a girl who couldn’t love one second longer. She needed a fresh start. As it hit 12, Fire works began to love the open sky, shooting and shining. But like love, the fireworks settle and die and there just isn’t that spark anymore. The colour fades. Darkness takes over. Jess watched the vibrant colours on bens skin bounce and dance, mirroring the sky. He appeared so happy, so contempt. Believing that he’d spend each and every other year by his girls side. “Ben Listen to me!” The fire works didn’t seem so bright anymore.

- Nathan Shane Prior