My Valentine’s Day Horror Stories

My friends refer to February 14th as the Valentine’s Day Curse.

When I’m single, we give it zero thought. When I’m not, we wait with bated breath to discover what dramatic episode of my life is about to unfold.

Consequently, I have come to dread Valentine’s Day. I find I have happier ones with Samson, my FJ Cruiser — not men.

This year, I’m spending Valentine’s Day going through a nasty divorce, despite not asking for anything. Here are three other awful experiences I’ve had.

1. He Had a Stranger Camped Out on the Couch

The last Valentine’s Day I celebrated with my wasband, he had a random guy sleeping on the couch. This guy was one of those who will spend $400 on a hoodie and brag about it, but can’t afford to keep a roof over his head.

My wasband had respectfully asked him to spend the night elsewhere, but the guy decided to make himself comfortable. I was all dressed up in my skin-tight red dress, ready to make dinner for my wasband. And, there was a stranger watching me gather ingredients in the kitchen.

I eventually flipped out and told him to fix it or be celibate for the night. That certainly got him running to the living room to ask the guy to leave. But, the fact that I had to threaten to withhold sex for him to grow a back-bone completely killed the mood for me.

2. He Was Trying to Date My Friend

In the relationship prior to that, I remember lying in my bed the night before and randomly thinking, “He’s cheating, isn’t he?”

I had never accused a boyfriend of cheating before and had never dealt with infidelity in a relationship. But, I felt certain I was spot on. To make matters worse, I picked up the phone and called him and he didn’t answer.

I’m very good at compartmentalizing, so when my friend asked me to meet her at the gym for Valentine’s Day, I said, “Yes.”

Her invitation was strange, though. It was the weekend and she had a rule about only working out during the week, but sis had something up her sleeve. After our workout, we sat outside talking and she told me she was giving online dating a try.

She said two guys had reached out to her. One of them, she really liked. The other one came on way too strong and was too flirtatious. Sis then whipped out her phone and showed me a picture of the guy she felt was coming on way too strong.

Who did I see staring back at me but my boyfriend? The boyfriend who whisked me away for a romantic getaway the weekend before. The boyfriend who took me house-hunting and was talking about marriage.

She had never met my boyfriend before or seen a picture of him. But, I had spoken of him and she recognised his name, job title, and where he worked.

I confronted him the following day and broke things off.

3. He Ditched Me to Go Hunting

In my very first serious relationship, I was head over heels. We met shortly after Valentine’s Day and it was love at first sight for both of us. The only downside was that we attended colleges that were six hours away from each other.

I had never celebrated Valentine’s Day before, so our first one together, I was excited to give it a try. He told me flat out that he thought it was a stupid day and didn’t want to celebrate. So, I went to my friend’s house and we celebrated together, instead.

Apparently, he felt bad about that. Because, the following year, he told me he really wanted to make up for it. I had a big calculus test coming up and was really worried about taking a romantic trip when I had the test on Monday.

I thanked him for the sentiment but declined. He begged me for the chance to make amends, so I eventually caved in. He had just failed out of college and his life was kind of a mess, so I figured he just needed the company and reassurance.

I took the six-hour bus ride to his city and he was nowhere to be found. Luckily, I owned a house in the countryside, so I went there instead. Like I said, I'm excellent at compartmentalizing, so I spent the time studying for my calculus test.

The following morning, he called and told me he had gone hunting. Apparently, his phone died before he could text me to say he couldn’t make it back.

“Why would you even go hunting when you know I’m coming to see you?” I asked him.

He became very upset and went off at me. He ended his charade with, “Fine. If you’re going to be mad at me over this, maybe we shouldn’t be together.”

I said, “Okay,” and hung up the phone.

He showed up at the house hours later, begging for a second chance. But, I have a thing about shutting the door once someone walks through it. Coupled with the mess he had gotten himself into and dropping out of college, it killed the romance for me.

More than a decade later and we are surprisingly civil. In fact, he was one of the first persons to pre-order my debut novel in 2018. But, it doesn’t change the fact that he dumped me on Valentine’s Day after ditching me to go hunting with his uncles.

Here’s My Playlist

Maybe you have similar horror stories to mine and maybe not. Either way, here are my 10 Anti-Valentine’s Day tracks:

1. Moral of the Story by Ashe
2. Myself by Bazzi
3. I Lived by OneRepublic
4. No Scrubs by TLC
5. All I Want by A Day to Remember
6. Through With You by WOLFE
7. I Hope You Suffer by AFI
8. Cry by The Used
9. Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic
10. Made for You by OneRepublic