My New Normal

“For as long as I can remember, Mom and I spoke at least twice a day. She did the same with my sister and we always managed to make each other laugh. She often started the conversation with, “What’s happening today? I need to get a sense and a visual of the scene.” She called at 10:45 that morning, and, after giving her a hard time for not calling earlier, I readied myself for our predictable silly banter.

She said, “Charl and I are going to the hospital. The doctor received the tests back from my examination on Friday and told us to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. Could you come home?”

I told her, “Just stay put until I come over, okay?” I didn’t know what was wrong, but despite telling myself everything was going to be okay, I knew that phone call was one that would change my life. It was a moment I immediately wished I could take back. But that’s not how life works, is it?

In one moment, life can change. You’re watching Much More Music, the morning news, and you run a few kilometers before the sun rises. Then you get a call and the next moment is the beginning of a different life. A life you didn’t know existed. No planning. No warning. No preparation. When a parent falls sick, your life as you knew it is stripped to the bare necessities, unrecognizable as the life you had just the day before.

Enter the new characters of your life, stage right... GO.

Strangers you have never met before become your most important allies and confidantes. Doctors, specialists, nurses, psychologists, Tim Horton’s employees, taxi drivers, funeral directors, coroners, florists, and restaurateurs. They have all joined the cast list to help you get through one of the toughest stories of your life.

You discover you have new roles to play and script changes come every minute. You have new functions, definitions and realities to participate in. You wonder, What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be now? What’s going on?

This becomes the new normal, except it’s really only new, not normal. It’s frustrating to stand by and watch it all unfold and not be able to control it or do anything to change it. You realize for the first time in your life that you are not really in charge."