My Mothers Diary

R.J. came home from work early with the intentions of taking his wife Valarie out on the town. She was in her eighth month of a high risk pregnancy. Normally, if he wasn't doing overtime, R.J. would come home, cook dinner for her and watch a movie, but for some reason, today he was feeling guilty. For the past month, she'd only left the house for doctor visit. Valarie was beyond frustrated.

R.J. entered the apartment building where they lived. He approached his front door and as he reached for his keys he heard the sound of a deep voiced man coming from inside of his apartment. Suddenly he was paralyzed. The strange man spoke again and Valarie erupted with laughter.

First R.J. felt a stinging pain in his heart, followed by a boiling flame of anger shooting through his veins. He had never allowed any man to step foot across the threshold of his house and he expected the same of Valarie.

'Could she be pregnant by this strange man?' He thought to himself.

The love he once felt for her was quickly replaced by hate. The violent side of R.J, that he'd buried away many years ago began to come alive inside of him and all he could see was red.

R.J.s next thought was of the gun he had stashed in his closet. Something bad was about to happen and R.J. couldn't stop it from happening if he wanted too.

For a second he wondered if it was all a dream, but after hearing the mans voice a third time, R.J. took a deep breath. With sweaty palms, he grabbed the doorknob and shoved the key into the lock. He turned the key with so much strength that the key broke.

R.J. burst into the apartment and locked eyes with the unknown man sitting on his couch. The strangers face grew with shock, but he was swift. He was holding a little black book and let it fall to the floor and used his hands to push himself up from the couch. He was on his feet in a split second.

R.J. never looked at Valarie but from his peripheral he saw that she let out a gasp of air in surprise and reached for her swollen belly.

R.J. took two charging steps towards the man and shouted. "Mother-" But in astonishment, he stopped short in mid step.

He couldn't believe who he was staring at. It was like seeing a ghost. R.J. hadn't seen the man in almost many years. He felt like he was looking into an aging mirror.

The man looked exactly like R.J. but an older version. They were both tall, but R.J. stood broad shouldered and the strangers build was considerably slim.

R.J. had a head full of dark hair and a solid dark goatee and the man had the same hairstyle and same goatee, but his was heavily sprinkled with a salt and pepper color.

The two had more in common than R.J. would like to have admitted and they even shared the same name. R.Js name was Randy junior, and the man standing in his living room, was Randy senior.

R.J. couldn't believe that after more than a decade of no communication, he was standing in his living room staring into the eyes of his father. The very man who left his mother on her own to die. R.J. was at a lose.

He left his family in New Jersey and moved to Houston Texas more than 10 years ago. Why was his father in his living room?

The awkward stare of silence didn't last because Valarie stepped in. With her hand still on her belly she wobbled over to her husband.

"I didn't know who you were charging in here like that. You almost scared this baby out of me."

R.J. didn't respond. So she took hold of one of his hands then climbed to her tippy toes and kissed his cheek. "Is everything okay R.J?"

With a million angry thoughts running through his head at the same time, R.J. just stared at his father.

Valarie was desperate to undo some of the thick tension lingering in the air.

"I called the car shop a while ago to let you know that your father and your sister were here but they told me that you had gone home for the day."

At the mention of his sister, R.J. felt another sting of pain in his chest. He also hadn't given her complete forgiveness for the role she played in the traumatic death of their mother.

R.J. pushed the unwanted thoughts aside and responded to his wife by bending down until he was face to face with her stomach.

"Yes honey, I'm okay. How are you?---" Then he placed a soft kiss on her belly. "And how is our little guy today?"

Before she could answer, he stood back up and tried to place his arm around her shoulder. Valarie took a step back and pushed him away from her.

"No you don't mister; You've been working on those cars all day and you have grease all over you. The next time you touch me is going to be after you shower."

The couple started laughing. Randy senior also let out a little chuckle. R.J. cut his father a cold eye. His Father stopped laughing and turned his attention to the little black book and picked it up.

R.J. turned his attention back to his wife before she could react to it.

"You're right baby, I'm going to go and shower real quick---" Lightly, he poked her belly. "---so I can get close to you and my son."

Just as the words left his mouth, his sister Rachel walked out of the bathroom with her head hanging to the ground.

In the same way that R.J. was a reflection of his Dad, Rachel was a spitting image of their Mother. Rachel raised her head. She noticed that R.J. was now there and stopped dead in her tracks. The brother and sister sorrowfully gazed at each other.

Rachel's eyes were cracked bloodshot red. Clearly she had been crying. All of the ill feelings R.J. felt left his body and his protective nature set in.

With four long steps, he rushed over to his sisters side. "What's wrong Rachel? Why do you look like you were crying?"

Her sad eyes quickly ran from R.J.'s face and landed on their father's before suddenly falling to his hand and landing on the little black book.

R.J. eyes followed her gaze until they were also laying on the little black book. Then he looked at his Father. Then back at the little black book.

Even Valarie was forced to look at the little black book.

R.J. walked over to his Dad and grabbed the little black book. His Father didn't try to resist.

R.J. examined the book by flipping it over to both sides.

Without warning, Rachel let out a bellowing cry. "I'm so sorry R.J, I swear that if I could go back in time then I would have been there for Mommy."

At the mention of his Mother, R.J.s, heart skipped a beat and he looked down at the little black book and then up at his sister with intense eyes.

"You need to tell me what is going on Rachel?"

Rachel looked directly at their father. She had had enough. She walked towards the door and just before opening it she turned to R.J. one last time.

"R.J. you really need to have a talk with Daddy. That little black book you're holding is Mommy's Diary. I couldn't get pass a few pages, that's why I was crying."

"My Mother's Diary?" Repeated R.J.

Without another word, Rachel left his apartment. R.J looked down at the book in his hand then started to go after his sister, but Valarie stopped him.

"No R.J. you stay here and talk to your father. I'll make sure Rachel is okay."

"But---" R.J. tried to argue but Valarie stood her ground.

"R.J! Talk to your father. I'll make sure she is okay."

Valarie walked out of the apartment and R.J. turned to his Dad. His Dad was the first to speak.

"I'm not going to lie to you son. Your Mother was on her death bed in the hospital and I went to see her everyday---"

R.J. cut him off with a scream.

"Your lying!!! From what I heard, she was in the hospital for weeks by herself and no one came to see her!!! If that is true, then how could you have been there seeing her everyday? And if this is My Mother's Diary, then how did you get it?"

A guilty and pitiful look came over his father's face because he knew the next words would hurt his son.

"R.J. I ended up with that little black book because I stole it from her when they said that I couldn't visit her anymore."

A scary silence fell over the room and R.J. felt the blood rushing through his face. Every muscle in his body tensed up.

"You stole this from my Mother on her death bed!!!"

Everything that R.J. had bottled up inside of him for years burst at the same time and the little black book fell to the floor.

He charged at his Father like an out of control football player.

His Dads eyes opened as wide as they could and he tried to move out of the way but he had no such luck. R.J. dropped his shoulder and all two-hundred pounds of his solid body crashed into Randy's chest.

Randy let out a grunt. Instantly, the wind was knocked out of him. They tumbled to the floor and R.J.s hands found their way around Randy's neck.

Just then, Valarie and Rachel came back into the apartment and was able to pull R.J. off of Randy.

Randy somehow rose to his feet.

"Where was you at? Huh! You want to blame me and your sister for not being there but you over here starting a new family while your Mother is thousands of miles away dying from covid-19!"

A silence fell over the room. Randy continued.

"That's right she had covid-19. You were to busy starting you a family to even know! Did you know that she was in a coma? No you didn't! So when the nurse told me that she was definitely dying and that it would be the last time I saw her, I took it upon myself to take that little black book. If I hadn't taken it, where would it have ended up?"

R.J. couldn't a word. Randy continued.

"What ever is in that book is her last thoughts and I couldn't bring myself to read it and that is why I am here. To let you and your sister read it."

Everybody in the room calmed down and took a seat. Then they all agreed to let Valarie read the little black book.

By the fifth page, everyone's eyes swelled with tears.

Their Mom had explained how much pain she was in and how lonely it was because no family members could come see her.

By the tenth page, there wasn't a dry eye in the room and everyone was sniffling.

Even Valarie dropped tears onto the diary as she read.

By the fifteenth page, everyone had heard enough and didn't want to hear anymore until Valarie saw the next sentence that read:

'With my last act of kindness, I would like to leave my life savings, which is $20,000 to the first grandchild of mine that is born into this world'.

They all looked at each other.

Rachel didn't have any children so that meant that R.J.s soon to be son had just inherited $20,000.

According to The Little Black Book.