My Mother

My mother Cleo passed away on January 5th, 2014. When my mom left this world, my heart was literally broken into pieces. Her pain and sudden illness started in November, around Thanksgiving. I was over her house waiting for the food to be done and she started having pain in her leg because her doctor had said that she had sciatica. The pain was so unbearable for her that she was down the whole time, so it was up to me to try and cook the food. At least you can say the food didn’t go so well. My sister came to the rescue with her food. After Thanksgiving was over, everything appeared to be back to normal with my mom.

In December, everything was fine with her through the holidays, but after the Christmas was over, we went on with our lives and getting ready for the new year. On the 27th of December, my mom went to pick up my daughter from my sister's house and got gas, bought cigarettes. When she got into her apartment, she couldn’t breathe, from what the neighbor had told us. She went up to his house and said, "I’m dying, call 911." Sorry, this makes me emotional every time I talk about this. So my sister and myself were called to go to the hospital and she was frantic saying "mom is dead." I’m trying to be strong for my mom and keep everyone calm at the same time. We both needed to be strong for our mother.

The doctor came out and said they had revived her but still need watch because she was not fully responsive yet. They asked if they can put her on a freezing process so it can stop her organs from shutting down. We agreed, which I kinda wish that we didn’t because it was not a guarantee that the process would work. My mom was transferred to ICU so they could watch her closely. While she was under this state, she was still not really responding. No one knew why she went down like this, and we didn’t know if my mom had any health problems because she never went to the doctor. The hospital performed a series of tests and etc. to see what was the cause of her symptoms.

New Years had passed and my mom still hadn’t came around. They had already taken off the cold process and still no changes. Everyone was visiting her and saying things to see if she would awake, but nothing happened. The doctor who had been with my mom took my sister and I into the family room and discuss our mother’s decision. I knew in my heart right there it wasn’t good. The doctor had said our mother had a stroke in the center of her brain and there would be no life in her. We both said to take her off the life support because she would not want to be kept alive by a machine or medicine. They transported her to another floor to keep her comfortable until we could get her in hospice. So I was there trying to clean my mother up, dumping her bodily fluids. The staff did not do anything to help my mother anymore and I blame her sisters, who were buttholes at the time.

We finally got our mother in hospital on the 5th of January. You could tell how my mom was having trouble breathing and etc., so it was time to give her a bath and I stayed in there with the nurses at the hospice center to make sure they were giving her the best treatment. She was so aggravated by someone touching her because she doesn’t like that at all. So I was reassuring my mom it was okay and she was calming down her breathing some. So we got her smelling good and cleaned up. I had left because I had my son at home with his dad and wanted to check on him. Not even an hour later, my sister called and said that if I wanted to say my last words for me to come back down there. I jumped up and went to see my mom. I talked to my mom for about 30 minutes letting her know that we would be alright and that she didn’t have to worry at all. When I left the room, my dad's best friend went in there to talk to her, and he was in there no more than ten minutes he came out and said my mom had passed away.

I couldn’t believe it and knew it would happen, but I just wanted this dream to be over with. Now what’s crazy is, here in West Virginia, we had this water crisis where you couldn’t drink the water, bath, cook, or anything, and every store was sold out of water. Besides the story on that.

My mom was a beautician and she did our family's hair when they passed away, and so I was not going to let anyone touch her hair. We dressed our mother in her favorite red boots along with her purse and etc. because she loved the color red. I was having some issues with my stomach that I didn’t know what was going on, so on that day, while I was doing her hair, I started having these pains and I had to go home. We had set our mother's funeral on 1/11/14 and I was sent to the ER because I was still having pain. I told the doctor I wanted to be able to be at my mothers funeral and to please help me figure it out.

After several tests, the doctor came back and said, "You are pregnant," and I was like...are you serious? SNH. So I sent my dad, his best friend, and my aunt home. After a few tests, the doctor said I had an ectopic pregnancy and it had erupted in my stomach and I was full of blood. If I would have waited one more day, I would be dead. So I had to have emergency surgery and it was the same day as my mom's funeral. I said, "okay, but I want to be out for her day." They said they would try to make that request happen.

On 1/11/14, the doctor came in and told me that they would not be able to get out in time. I was devastated because I wanted to say my final goodbye to her. I think what gets me, and no one understands because I don’t really express it to people ,but I don’t feel complete because I did not get to say goodbye to her. I miss my mom so much. It’s not one day that I don’t think of her and cry 😢. I am at work writing this and have been holding back my tears. But thanks for reading my story.