My Life

My life where do I start, let's start back in 2009 when I met a great guy thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. He was charming, good looking and funny and had a great smile that just lit up a room. We were together for 6 years I have never been with anyone that long. He came and moved in with but then got evicted and had to move back in with my grandparents. Fast forwarding to the year 2012 I was pregnant with my first child Jayden Alexander but unfortunately he was a stillborn at 18 weeks that's when I was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and I was devastated I was so hurt and numb I didn't know what to do I thought it was my fault I couldn't even bear the pain I was going through no one could understand how I felt I wanted to die. Then in 2015 I was pregnant with my 2nd child Xavier Lee I had him had 23 weeks but he didn't survive I was like, " Lord what is happening?" I was really just out of it I spent time in the hospital and then in a psychiatric ward because the doctors thought I was having suicidal thoughts because I wasn't talking nor barely eating I just wanted to be left alone but looking at me I was the most strongest person I prayed and prayed for strength and a few years past then i met this amazing human being of a man who is so generous and sweet and most handsome of all. He holds me together even though I still breakdown behind closed doors without him seeing me, but I know he is going to tell me that it's alright to cry and let it out by me losing two of my baby boys they have made me stronger and I know I will have a healthy baby someday but now I am happy and being prosperous and growing every single day. My parents and my grandparents are the ones who in life have held me together for all these years and I thank them for that. My grandparents raised me and they made me into the woman I am today. That's MY home!!!! I have learned from any mistakes I have made and became a strong individual. I have to do what I have to do to become successful and excel in my life. From me losing my boys and having a chronic illness I still maintain standing. I tell myself every single day to be prosperous and wise. I don’t let anything get me down. I do cry if I have to, but other than that I remain with a smile on my face. I have been hurt and devastated by the activities in my life and that I have experienced. My father always told me don’t depend on no one, because you can’t trust them and be your own individual. He always gave me and my sister lectures on life, because people will run over you, but you can’t let them. My dad has been on his own since he was 16 and he didn’t have anyone to teach him about life and the do’s and don’ts. This life and world out here isn’t a game. It’s a struggle, but we all can get through anything with God’s help. I am so thankful that I have a family that cares enough about me and my life. I don’t know what I would do without them. MY FAMILY IS MY STRENGTH TO THE FULLEST.