My Hero, My Best Friend, My Mother

When asked, "who is a woman who has inspired you?" My immediate response is my mother. But even if my mother was not my mother and just a woman I knew, she would be the most inspirational person I know.

From an early age, my mother dealt with diversity. She has struggled with stigma due to her weight her entire life, but she has always risen above this struggle and stayed true to who she is. My mother earned a completely paid for education at Northern Arizona University, and pursued working in the medical field due to her desire to help others. She became an ultrasound sonographer and pursued a career in women's health, which she still does today.

My mother has always been spiritual, and her religion has been a huge factor in her life. She grew up Catholic but lives by the idea that everyone is equal no matter their faith. She has always shown me acceptance of anyone who is "different". When my mother doesn't understand something, such as the different gender options that have progressively been improving our collective sense of self, she does her best to learn more about what she doesn't understand instead of judging and discriminating. My mother taught me that we can always learn more and expand our perspective to be as inclusive as possible and make the world a better place.

My mother is extremely passionate about animals, and she taught me from an early age that animals are our equals. Her love for animals translated to me, and I always love hearing her talk to our dog and cats as though they are people. She will go out of her way to make sure that her dog has food that she will actually eat because she is so picky, and she ensures that my cats have comfy places to lay, even if it means taking up part of her desk or the table. She puts animals before herself, and this is the most selfless thing about her. My mother is the kind of woman who will pick up worms off of the sidewalk in the rain and make sure that they are put safely back in the grass, because she can’t bear to let them die.

My mother is the kind of woman who, when we were out grocery shopping, gave her designer purse to an intellectually disabled woman who said that she liked it, and walked out of the grocery store with the contents of her purse in a shopping sack. My mother is the most giving person I know, and she has taught me that kindness costs nothing and we desperately need more of it in the world.

My mother suffers from diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and depression, but despite her health issues she pushes herself to ensure that she gets the most out of life. Even when she is tired or not feeling well due to her multiple sclerosis, she will push herself to go out and do something that she loves to do – such as hiking. She doesn’t let her illnesses hold her back from her passions. She is high-risk for COVID-19 due to her diabetes and multiple sclerosis, but she is still working and making sure that she is helping others during this time of crisis.

In 2014, my mom suffered a fall on ice. The ER doctor judged her based on her weight and told her she probably just bruised her knee and that “we all have different pain tolerances” without giving her a second thought. Well, it turned out that my mother severely injured her knee to the point of having to have surgery. When she began to walk again, she overused her other knee and had to have surgery on that knee as well. This caused her to be on bedrest for 6 months. She needed assistance when going to the bathroom, taking a shower, or completing any of her activities of daily living. For my active, independent mother, this was complete torture. Her depression worsened during this time due to her isolation and maltreatment from her ER doctor, and she experienced stigma from those as her work due to her inability to work for 6 months.

But my mother never gave up.

She worked hard in physical therapy and was eventually able to return to work; though she faced more stigma back in her workplace that contributed to her depression. I don’t know how my mother was able to heal while facing stigma and discrimination, and for this I admire her more than anything. She has taught me that no matter what you are going through, your will is stronger, and you need to keep fighting.

This past year I have been in and out of mental health hospitalization programs due to Major Depressive Disorder, Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder, Bulimia Nervosa, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Fibromyalgia. My mom is the one who helped me when I was at my darkest by taking me to the ER and admitting me into a mental health hospital. She has stayed by me every day and listened to some of my darkest thoughts and experiences without judgement. My mother is my best friend and I can tell her everything. Without my mother’s support and love, I would have never made it to see 2020.

My mother is more than my mother, she is my hero, my best friend, my role model, and my savior. She is a shining light that has been placed unto this world, and I am so grateful to have the honor of having her as my mother. I only wish that everyone had the chance to get to know this beautiful woman.