Musings of a Momma Bear

You're not perfect.

Eek! Gasp! What?

Yup. Let's say it again. You're. Not. Perfect.

The real kicker? It's perfectly okay to be perfectly imperfect.

It's taken me a long time to acknowledge this lovely little life lesson. Heck, some days I'm still working on internalizing this nugget of truth. But it is, well, the truth. I spent 15 years in a miserable marriage trying to be perfect. Perfect wife. Perfect mom. Perfect Christian. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Trying to earn God's blessings with my attitude, my actions, my thoughts, my perfection. Never made it. Nope. Not once. And all this striving for perfection ever brought me was more imperfection.

I mess up every single day. I wake up late sometimes when my kids have to be at school and I have to be at work. I am overtired and I yell. More often than I want to. I eat candy for breakfast. I wear mismatched socks and smelly shoes and forget to shave for days on end. I drop the f-bomb sometimes...okay a lot of times... My eyebrows are spazzy, my t-shirts stained, my house a mess...I could go on. But what it boils down to is--it's all okay.

I'm doing my best to keep 5 little human beings alive and that is enough. It is messy. It is imperfect. But it is filled with love, because this momma bear's heart could not possibly love them more. So how do I handle the fact that I'm a hot (give me this one, okay?) mess most days?

1. Breathe

Sounds simple, right? But I find myself holding my breath (literally and figuratively) a lot. It's okay to take some time each day to stop and just breathe. Relax. Listen to a favorite song. Take a few deep cleansing breaths and then dive back in. Remember that no matter what happens today, tomorrow the sun will rise.

2. Positive self pep talk

Get rid of those pesky voices telling you that you messed up and life is doomed. Tell yourself, instead, I messed this one thing up, but I will do better on the next. Or, even, today was a momma fail, but tomorrow will be better. (Besides, these "momma fails" are great lessons for the little humans learning to be humans to witness).

3. Apologize

If you truly make an error in judgment or lose your temper and scream at the top of your lungs, apologize. These babies need to learn how to do that too, and what better way to learn than to have their momma bear model this much-needed behavior? Remember, though, apologies don't come with reasoning, excuses, or blame. "I'm sorry I messed this up" works well. End. Walk away.

4. Stop looking at others

Your best is your best. You are not Mommy Jane or Mommy Sue next door. Oh, they decorated their whole house for Thanksgiving and know where two matching shoes are? Good for them. Even if you're struggling just to find the foot that one shoe goes on, you do YOUR BEST today and it will be good enough. Your children don't expect perfection, they expect your presence. Are you there for them in your mismatched, smelly socks with your hair that hasn't been brushed in two days cause someone lost the brush again? Good. That's what they want.

5. Remember Who's in charge (hint: It ain't you)

Ultimately, we are in charge of nothing. Yup. Nothing. (Oooh I hate this one). God is. We aren't. Should be simple but it is oh so hard. When you strive for perfection, you strive to perfect something God made exactly as it is supposed to be: you. Stop trying to make His creation perfect and simply be who you were meant to be. He loves you, unconditionally, messy hair, smelly socks, potty mouth and all.

Tomorrow, today even, accept a little piece of yourself that isn't perfect and love on it. Learn to love your perfect imperfections.

About the Author

Sara L. Foust is a mother of 5, girlfriend of 1, daughter, sister, friend, graduate student, medical transcriptionist, substitute teacher, Christian, author, editor, proofreader...busy woman...who loves books, writing, her family, and East Tennessee. Connect with her at her website or find her books on Amazon.