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Moms Have Dreams Too!

Moms are entitled to their own dreams.

By wendy tostoPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Mothers everywhere are often condemned for daring to do what everyone has a right to do. Dream. Mothers are often thought of as a person who has it all together. Dream career, dream house, and dream husband. But what if she doesn't have those things? What if a mother has her child prior to finishing college? Or if she isn't married yet? If a mother chooses to attend college post baby, she may run into some scrutiny.

Typically, people feel that after one has a baby that the parents' lives should revolve around the baby. Which is true... to a certain extent. Can parents choose to be more than a parent? Mothers often feel shamed if they leave their child to do an activity for themselves. They feel shamed as if it is somehow taking away from the care of the child. They feel shame if they are able to find pride in something other than their family.

Mothers are humans, though. Is that mother who was unable to finish college supposed to never finish simply because she had a child? Humans have a natural desire to excel. Mothers tend to suppress that instinct by distracting themselves with the desire to see their offspring excel. This can only go so far, though. Why is it such a reach that a mother should be able to do something that gives her cause to feel pride in herself as an individual and not as a parent? That mom who wants to go back to school will face a million reasons not to go... but WHY? She will be told that putting her child in a daycare is selfish. She will be told that her family should save the money for something more important. She may even be told that her place is home with the children. A mother has a right to achieve things she never thought possible! Mothers are some of the most hardworking people in the world! Mothers spend all of their time taking care of other people. Is it not feasible that a mother might be a better mother if they are confident and happy with their accomplishments as a human being? If a mother wants to go to college as a pathway to a better career that will provide better for their family? Should a mother allow herself to be treated as a sort of employee of the family? Work all day taking care of everyone but never being able to improve in something that they find important? It is 2018. It is time to stop mom shaming. If a mother chooses to go back to college or start a new career... support them! I'm not really sure why we have to have 600 words in these posts. It seems like a large number for a creative piece. We should be able to write about 300 hundred words and have that be good enough. But no. We have to go through the approval process like thirty times to get the word count high enough. If it is really that important to you guys you should include a word counter on the page where you create stories. That would make much more sense than just having us transfer the piece from Word or just guessing at the word count. Trust me... they need it. It is hard to start over. It's even more difficult when you have a child to support. If things don't work out for that mom... give them some added confidence! Tell them that you are proud of them. It won't hurt anything I swear. If you see them struggling, give them a few words of encouragement or offer to babysit for a couple hours. Trust me. That mom following her dreams will teach her child to follow their dreams too. It will teach the child to persevere even when the odds are against you.

If you are that mom, I just want to tell you not to listen to that. Moms are human. Moms are allowed to want to be more. Moms can have dreams too!

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wendy tosto

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