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Mom

1 Woman - too many titles

By Jessica OrtizPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Mom, wife, maid, chef, nurse, counselor.... You name it, we are it. But what about ME? When do I get to be me? When do any of us get to be just us? Whether we are chasing after little ones, putting load of laundry in the wash and cooking dinner, or we are at work during the day to then come home and chase after kids, pick up their toys and still cook dinner. We are consumed with all of these other titles. When do we get to just be us?

I think as Mothers we lose a piece of ourselves. Most of us lose our bodies right away and that alone can feel like losing a piece of your identity. We shouldn't allow the way we look to be a factor in who we are, but if you worked hard on yourself prior to kiddos, and then after feel like you've become a blimp.. then you know what I mean. The sexy, husband pleasing women we may have once been, feels like a distant memory.

Then there are also some of us who lose our job/careers as well. I know it happened to me. I worked at a dental office for nearly 8 years. I planned on returning after the birth of my son, they knew I would be returning, but with my hours cut slightly until we could figure out how to make it all work. I talked about it for months during pregnancy. After he was born, I called them up after 3 weeks saying, "Hey! I think I would be ready to return to work within a week or two instead of the 12 weeks I thought I was going to take". After talking to and reminding them of my need for less hours a week, they basically said "Sorry! That won't work! We need this, or we can't take you back". Now it wasn't in those words exactly, but sent the same message.

So there I was, newborn, a whole new life, new body to get used to, and now, no job. We struggled, have been struggling since. I lost a huge piece of who I was. A woman who felt sexy and couldn't wait to get naked with her husband. A woman who felt confident and proud of her job, helping contribute to bills, gifts and fun activities. To now, a woman who is in debt, packed on even more pounds than I was carrying 3 weeks post partum, with no job and no sense of self. No money for daycare or babysitters to go take the time I need to job hunt, work, or have a self care day. No family near by or available to just come help out on a whim.

Now, let me be CLEAR, I am eternally grateful for my family, for our boys. I wouldn't change being a Mom for anything!!!! BUT, when did it become a "This or that for most of us". Why can't we have it all? Feel confident and strong and proud to have it all? For those of you reading this thinking that I'm crazy and you can't relate, I applaud you! Good for you!! This means that you know who you are & have taken charge of it!! I wish I could say the same!

For those of you reading these words, finding yourselves agreeing with what I have typed, when do we get to rediscover ourselves? Who will give us that opportunity to dedicate time to just us? Who will give us that legitimate work from home job opportunity, even though we don't have the proper qualifications? Even though, we can totally do the job and are so driven to have something of our own and earn money that we will kill it!

I say this as a reminder to myself, but to anyone else reading as well; We are rockstars! We may not look the same, act the same, or have what we dreamed of overall. But we are rockstar Moms! We are here for our kids, trying! We will not give up! We will keep searching & figure out a way to find US once again.

Much love!

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About the Creator

Jessica Ortiz

I'm a 32 year old SAHM, wife, and an aspiring writer. My dream is to make a fruitful living doing something I'm passionate about and love.

IG https://www.instagram.com/xoxojessicajoyxoxo/

https://youtube.com/channel/UCsNZB08gvoR7e9h5kug4nBg

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