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Mom: My Optimistic Motivator

Not all heroines wear capes 💕

By DonziikinzPublished 3 years ago 8 min read
Third Place in Boss Mom Challenge
21
My mom and her girls.

As a child, I was big on creating acrostic poems. Everyone and everything that meant something to me landed a leading role in these poems, including my mom. This interest started when I was about seven years old and continued for at least three years. Once I turned ten and matriculated to high school, I knew I had to step up my game. I mean, these were poems that only a mother could love. Okay, perhaps I am exaggerating, but I've included a portion of my masterpiece below, so you can get my point. This specific poem was dedicated to my mom, Dawnett.

D is for devoted because you take good care of me

A is for amazing; you’re as great as a mom should be

W is for wise because you always teach me things

N is for nice; I love the joy your kindness brings...

You get the point.

Despite my amateur poetry skills, my mother's face would light up whenever I gave her one of my creations. I recall wishing that I could give her more than just a piece of paper stained with ink that would probably fade in the years to come. She deserved so much more. She still does. And in case you were wondering, yes, I did follow through and step up my game. In honour of my childhood phase, I've decided to share a few lessons I have learnt from my mom throughout the years, inspired by the acrostic format. Though it will be impossible to capture her true essence in so few words, her life lessons have had a major impact on my life and are worth sharing in this space.

One of the things I love most about my mom is her ability to find positivity in every situation. She’s had days where she had no clue where she would find our next meal or where she’d find the bus fare to get to work. But did she let that get her down? No, she did not. In all honesty, she didn’t confess this to me until a year ago, almost twenty years since we’ve been in that situation. However, I was never able to detect that something was wrong. Why? She was always smiling and dancing like no one was watching. And I don’t mean in a toxic positivity kind of way.

We both have a habit of dancing through the good times and the bad. Knowing what my mom went through and seeing her ability to remain positive, inspired me not to put myself in a rut despite how difficult things may seem. Instead, I turn the radio on, dance, and be grateful for the things that are going well in my life.

My mother is the kindest woman I know. Yes, I know it sounds cliché, but that is my reality. My mom taught me to be kind to others regardless of how much or how little I have. She often led by example and would help anyone she could, including my friends. If my friends were distressed, I felt distressed, and I’d confide in my mom to let her know how I felt. Her first response was almost always how she could help. I have countless testimonies to prove her generosity towards friends, family members, and even strangers.

I’m proud to say all that she has done has inspired me to create the Award for Diversity and Community Building at my alma mater. I did not establish this award because I am rich (far from it) but rather because I see the importance of helping others to elevate themselves in any way I can, albeit small. My mom is one of the few persons I try to emulate, and I do so by adopting her many principles and values.

My mother has over one hundred certificates of courses and programs she has pursued throughout the years. These range from massage therapy, sewing, interior decorating, and even mediation. She is, without a doubt, a Jack of all trades. Or should I say, Jill? She was and still is a firm believer in independence and ongoing self-improvement. This pushed her to learn a wide range of skills that proved to be useful in her life. She would jokingly say that if she lost her job, she would have many trades to fall back on and boy was she right! In fact, she has spent time moonlighting in some of the areas in which she practiced and this extra income has helped us get through tough times in the past. Kudos to her!

My mom had her first of two children at fifteen years old. This of course meant that her priorities in life changed and her focus shifted from herself to her child. It also meant that things were a little harder for her especially since she lost the support of her parents and was a single mom. At fifteen, my biggest struggle was that I had just gotten braces and they made me look uncool. But, my mom barely knew how she’d take care of a newborn at fifteen and her concern certainly wasn’t if her peers would find her braces nerdy or trendy. So, she had two choices. She could either accept defeat or she could work twice as hard to give herself and her children the life we deserved.

Her tenacity and love for her children led to both of us succeeding in ways my mom never thought possible. In the picture above, my mom, sister, and I can be seen on the right-hand side of the photo. My sister had just graduated from high school which was a monumental achievement since it was one my mom struggled to achieve herself. The lesson of hard work was not lost on my sister and me as we both worked assiduously to make sure that our mom’s sacrifices were not made in vain.

Though my mom had a late start in pursuing her tertiary studies, she’s been unstoppable since. Upon completing her bachelor’s degree, she promptly decided to further her studies. However, she put her plans on hold in order to see me through high school and subsequently university. As I was on the verge of completing my bachelor’s degree, she commenced her master’s degree. I recall crying and being proud of her as I sat in the audience watching her cross the stage. It had been a good era as she had watched me cross the stage a few months before.

As you could possibly imagine, my mom was not content with just her master’s degree. She had made a commitment to herself to never stop learning, whether that be in a formal or informal way. It came as no surprise when she called me to let me know she had enrolled in law school. She was a cop by profession for over twenty years and wanted to explore how she could channel this experience into her studies. I’m proud to say that she graduated this year with honours and is already researching Ph.D. programs. What can I say? I have huge shoes to fill.

I like to worry; not because it is fun, but I do it quite often unintentionally. If I didn't know better, I'd think it is my favourite pastime. Every time I find myself worrying about something, I remember my mother's wise words, "to always have faith." In some cases, I have learnt to accept the hardships that come my way, but not to take them lying down. I have seen first-hand that the end result of my goal is worth the struggles that I inevitably face on my life journey. In my mom's words, "trusting the process doesn't mean to stop trying or to give up, it means that even if you don't see the result you were expecting in a stipulated timeframe, keep going because you are closer than you think." This is the mantra that has gotten me through some of the crappiest moments I've ever had to endure.

Like my mother, I’m a workaholic. I am never content with having nothing to do as I’d rather be on the go. This led me to work sixty hours per week while studying full time and even working double shifts. Luckily, my mom constantly reminds me that it is okay to slow down and enjoy the fruits of my labour regardless of what that looks like. It has been a while since we have travelled together or had a spa date to unwind, but we are patiently waiting for the pandemic to pass so that we can spend a day pampering ourselves together. It’s truly the small moments that count and help me to regroup after going through any stressful phases.

Shoutout to all the supermoms out there! Though I am not a mom (as yet), I know that many of you put your blood, sweat, and tears into raising your children to be as comfortable as possible while striving to be the best version of themselves. For that, I salute you all. I think they had all moms in mind when they coined the term, “not all heroes (heroines) wear capes.” 💕

parents
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About the Creator

Donziikinz

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