Mom Knows Best

One of my earliest memories is crying uncontrollably when I was 3 as my mom left for a business trip to France. A sleek black car had come to pick her up from our humble New Jersey apartment. I was far too young to feel proud. Instead, I just missed her.

Since then, I have naturally learned a lot more about her as a person. Just as I suspect it feels for everyone else, realizing that my mom is more than just my mom felt weird. But as I've grown older, I have become an extremely proud daughter as well as woman, person, and friend.

My mom grew up in Nangal, a tiny and beautiful town in India. With the eventual support of her family, she left in 10th grade to pursue higher education in a bigger city. Eventually, she got her Ph.D. in biochemistry and reproductive biology -- we joke that she stayed in school until they kicked her out! Her ticket to the U.S. came in the form of a post-doctoral fellowship at Rockefeller University. They literally offered her plane tickets. She tells me now that our family might not be here had the plane tickets not come free.

Along the way, she married my dad -- but only after turning down any proposed arranged marriages that she thought might stifle her career. My dad turned out to be the ideal partner as he followed her faithfully to the States with my older sister who was only 9 months old at the time. For both of them, it was important to raise their daughters here.

Just by existing around my mom -- by watching her from afar and up close -- I have learned so much about how to carry myself in this world. But she has also explicitly taught me life lessons that I hold dear. Here are the 3 that she repeats most often:

1. A tree that bears fruit must bend otherwise it will break. My mom has always been my biggest fan. Expanding upon the tree analogy, she has been my sun, water, and soil. At the same time, she has always reminded me to stay humble, if and especially when I succeed. To her, success not only provides an opportunity but an obligation to bend closer to the ground from which we grow. While she celebrates my tangible accomplishments with me, she always emphasizes that she is proud of the person I have become.

2. No one does a bad job on purpose. My mom has taught me to give others the benefit of the doubt. She reminds me that, if I don't intend to make mistakes or underperform, then I ought to assume the same is true about others. In turn, she taught me that people exist outside of the circumstances in which I see them. As a result, my empathy should be freely given.

3. Subudhi, surakshit, sehat. These three words translate to good sense, safety, and health respectively. No matter the situation or occasion, this trio is always central to my mom's prayers. She believes that nothing can be achieved without all 3; alternatively, she believes that anything can be achieved with all 3. As a result, I have learned to prioritize them.

I carry my mom close in the form of these 3 lessons among others. While some people fear that they will become their parents (*cough* Progressive Insurance commercials *cough*), I truly hope that one day I will become someone like my mom.

As I have moved out and on to pursue my own career, now at age 27, I find myself missing my mom the same way that I did when I was 3. But now, that feeling is always accompanied by intense pride in the woman and mother she is.