Married

Hello y’all, I am married with five children and it has been one hell of a ride. I love my family dearly and wouldn’t trade them for the world. We have been together thirteen years and married for two of them.

We both have children from a previous relationship and that was fun in the beginning to get everyone to get along. There was also a huge age difference with our two youngest to my oldest and his. Now, we do not believe in labels but I wanted to paint the picture of lovely family. With that said we have four boys and five girls. The house was full and the noise seemed to never stop, but it was like music to our ears and don’t get me wrong our children get into trouble. We have to yell, take things away, put them in time out though the older kids that doesn’t work anymore. They get grounded to their bedrooms without video games and or television.

It was like cooking for an army and don’t forget the picky eaters. I got into a routine quickly but whatever one of the older children didn’t like neither did the younger ones, it didn’t matter they liked it last week. We would have the same meals with something be substituted or taken out in general. The talk around the table at meal time kept us laughing usually, but dad did use that time to bring up serious situations if there was any. That’s kind of tricky there, but that can come later when we get to know each other.

Fast forward six years and four of the children are moved out and two of them with a baby of their own. We are happier than a chef in his favorite kitchen. We are grandparents now. We are kind of young ourselves still but hey our children that have their own baby are over eighteen years old and that is what we pushed for. They had to finish high school and couldn’t have a baby before they were eighteen. It would have been great to wait longer, but we wouldn’t change it for the world.

I have anxiety out the ears here and whatever else is probably wrong with me. There’s no since I’m going to visit a doctor since I won’t take the medication they recommend. Have you guys heard or read the side effects for most of that crap? Yeah, no thank you. It can get where I do not leave my house for months but family and friends are welcome to come over. It’s just going in public and dealing with the drama that seems to jump out even if it doesn’t pertain you. If I didn’t keep my hands busy I would twist and twirl my hair until it was wrapped tight around my finger. The only way to get it off was to break it and pick the hair off before my finger changed a deeper color.

This happened sitting as I watched television or bed time when I was going to sleep. Sometimes in the car if my body got tensed and my heart beat sped up. My hair looked like crap to say the least. I had split ends to the scalp and there was no way to fix that I unless I cut my hair off. That wasn’t going to happen, so after two years of thinking about it first I dreaded my hair. Boy, you should have seen my husbands reaction because he didn’t want me to do it. I wasn’t going to like it or my hair was to thin for them.

His mouth about hit the floor when he seen my hair for the first time when he got home from work. He stared at me before he shook his head and walked into our bedroom. I left him alone and continued to cook dinner for us. It didn’t take long before he came back out and joined me in the kitchen. He kissed my cheek before he grabbed a Pepsi from the refrigerator and told me that my hair looked nice and he was wrong.

That was great to hear because I was keeping them. It would be easier to deal with once they locked and I knew it didn’t happen over night, and that was okay. It was just nice to have him have my back even if he didn’t support the idea at first.

It had been a month and he has been super amazing. He bought everything I asked for, oils, apple cider vinegar and apple cider vinegar shampoo. I wanted sea salt to help with the locking process and he made sure that I had that. He bought me three bags of hair to add extensions to my dreads and I can’t stop smiling.

After a month my anxiety doesn’t feel so out of control, I feel better going in public with people staring at me lol. I don’t care about that part it just feels my whole attitude has started to change and I feel like a better person. My family knows and their bracing for more change to come and they will be included in this change.

Do you married couples compromise or is it one sided?