Married Couples Sleep In Separate Beds (Married But Living In Separate Rooms)

Recent studies show that more and more couples are sleeping in separate beds, and even in separate bedrooms. Numerous reports claim that 1 in 4 couples have taken up this habit and the National Association of Homebuilders predicts that by 2015 60% of new luxury homes will be built with more than one "master bedroom" to accommodate this growing trend. When this topic was discussed on a recent Oprah Winfrey show, Dr. Phil didn't mince words as to what he thought of this trend.

"If people are building homes with two master bedrooms, a village somewhere is missing an idiot" chimed in Dr. Phil on an Oprah Winfrey "Are You Normal?" show that aired on October 1, 2010. There are many legitimate reasons that have couples who claim to be "happily married" to separate beds and even separate rooms. Some couples just simply find it hard to get a good night's rest sharing their bed with a partner who snores, moves around too much, gets up frequently to use the bathroom, enjoys a mattress of a different firmness, talks in their sleep, wants to sleep in a different temperature on or just basically hogs the covers. Add to this the strain of having babies who wake up needing to be fed, children who crawl in bed after a bad dream and it is little wonder many couples crave a little space and sanctuary of their own.

However, sleeping in separate rooms can be a bad habit for couples to fall into, slowly damaging the special bond between husband and life. Dr. Phil pointed out that the intimacy that comes from talking in bed late at night and early in the morning with your spouse is one of the things that is exclusive to a marriage and distinguishes it from other relationships in our lives.

So have you and your spouse fallen into this bad habit of separate bedrooms? Is it a convenience, or a sign of problems? There's a difference between sleeping in the spare room when you have a cold and are coughing all night (that's being considerate) and making the decision to take up separate sleeping areas on a permanent basis.

From personal experience I can tell you that permanently separating sleeping areas with your spouse is not a positive habit for the overall health of your marriage. While different sleep schedules and sleep preferences led to a more and more regular habit of "just sleeping in the other room", before my husband and I realized it the habit had turned into a permanent solution. In retrospect, the separate room decision did mark the beginning of the overall eroding of intimacy in our relationship, even if we didn't realize it at the time. I wouldn't say it was the cause of the end of our 20 year marriage, but it certainly didn't help and was a symptom of larger problems that we were reluctant to address.

Have you fallen into the bad habit of sleeping in separate rooms? Are their issues on your marriage that you are reluctant to address? It's never too late to give your marriage a "tune up" and develop more healthy and loving habits. Even if your spouse is not interested at working at making your marriage better, you can make an amazing difference to the quality of your marriage if you know how.

Learn How to Save A Marriage In 4 Easy Steps

Learning how to save a marriage goes beyond communicating lovingly and forgiving each other. Without a step-by-step plan, you're pretty much lost. So allow me to share with you a potent 4 step process to help you save your marriage.

Step 1 - Take Some Time Out

That means taking about a week or two to get away from each other and gather your thoughts.

Of course, don't gather negative thoughts like how your ex hurt or disappointed you. If you want to learn how to save a marriage, then you need to start remembering why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. Also, it'll be helpful to think about ways to address the problems calmly when you see each other again.

Step 2 - Work Out Your Own Issues

Next, how to save a marriage step-by-step means working on your own issues, no matter how much you think your partner is at fault. That's because it takes two hands to clap in a relationship, and you have to take responsibilities for the marriage too.

Nobody is perfect, so you definitely have issues that you need to work on. Maybe you have brought some emotional baggage into the marriage, or maybe you are overly critical on your partner. Whatever it is, use your cooling off period to work on these issues to help you save your marriage.

Step 3 - Resolve Conflicts With Your Spouse

After you've taken some time out and worked on your own issues, then it's time to find some time, preferably a few uninterrupted hours, to resolve the conflicts you have with your spouse.

It'll also be a good idea to do this in a marriage counsellor's office so that you and your partner don't end up in a shouting match. Besides, a neutral third party who knows how to save a marriage can really help keep things sane so you can make some real progress.

Step 4 - Be Patient With The Process

This final step on how to save a marriage is so important, because very often, it determines if you can successfully save your marriage.

The truth is, you and your partner are bound to make mistakes along the way even when you both know what to do, and you will feel like ending it all when you can't see the marriage improving. But let me assure you that if you are willing to pick yourself up after every failure and press on, you'll be able to save your marriage.

You've just learnt how to save a marriage in the 4 steps above, and the earlier you start, the better your chances of salvaging the marriage. Start by taking time out, then working on yourself before you attempt to resolve conflicts with your spouse. And remember to always be patient because a happy marriage isn't built in one day, but day by day.

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit Secrets To A Happy Marriage

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