Married and Divorced In 6 Months
Coping with life after divorce.
The day was so sweet like honey. The birds were chirping in Harlem, NY. I was with my best friend shopping for some crafts. We got a sewing machine and some fabric. She was learning to make dresses and clothes. Little did we know along our summer escapades that I would unknowingly run into my future husband.
After about two hours we started to get hungry. I got myself some seafood. And she got her some Bourbon chicken from the Chinese restaurant. The food was so good that I went back and ordered the same thing I had so I could have it later on.
We decided to leave at 3:30 and try to beat the traffic from the coming rush hour. We were driving along the NYC highway. The breeze was flowing, and the wind was blowing in my tresses and the energy was amazing. I had not a care in the world. My mindset was in a different place because I was in a mind space of enjoying my peace and happiness.
The prior month I just barely avoided a tumultuous rollercoaster with a narcissist. The constant arguing and no accountability taken drove me mad. I was loving my today out without drama or a constant headache.
I thought the day couldn't get any better. After 45 minutes of driving on the road and I spot someone. I could feel their eyes on me in the next lane through my peripheral. He was riding in the car with his uncle. He kept saying something but I couldn't make out what he was actually saying.
The highway was packed so we were inching 5 mph. My friend said he was trying to give me his number I said no way, we're on a highway. What are the odds. He shouted you're beautiful and gave me his number. I figured what do I have to lose, I was single and it wouldn't hurt to entertain the thought of ending up with a miraculous fated loved story.
Unfortunately in that moment my phone had died. So I found some paper, wrote it down and we chatted nonstop for 2 weeks. The conversations we had just flowed. We were so anxious to see one another. We finally met up in person the following week. He invited me to his house to get ready for a party he was attending that night. I was introduced to the whole family.
We had a great time and the night was amazing. As we grew closer he began to talk about having children. He had children but they weren't in America. He wasn't from my country so I figured the smartest thing to do is bring up marriage because I also had a child and I wanted to do it the right way. I've heard stories of women getting caught up being pregnant by foreigners or worse case scenario they get departed and can no longer visit so the woman has to now go to their country and bring the child along to see their father.
I was trying to avoid that whole debacle. He shared with me that his time was up for and he would have to go soon. I bought it up to him not knowing what he'd say or how he'd feel since he had only been in the U.S. for 11 months. He agreed and so he replied," why wait we could get married sooner rather than later." As I thought about it I said I didn't want to let his time expire and end up pregnant and stranded.
Although I was caught off guard by his hurriedness, we got married in the second month of knowing each other. Two weeks later After our conversation I picked out a beautiful ring and it was wedded bliss. Or at least I thought.
I had no idea that we had to see someone before we got married. He wanted to be sure so we could get his papers because I wanted everything done properly and have things in place by the time our baby would be born. I noticed at the meeting he didnt know much of the questions the guy was asking him. It was simple things that he should know since the questions were about him.
The man proceeds to ask him his two children birthday. He had no idea of their birthdays let alone how old they were. Then he was asked what occupation he held before coming to America he said his job is politizing. I was like huh, what the hell is that. The crazy part is he was looking at me when the guy asked him the questions as if I had the answers. It was starting to get embarrassing and I was rethinking the whole situation.
A week later it all changed and not in a good way. My daughter came back from summer vacation at her Dad's. He wasn't used to seeing her around. I saw an energy shift in his behavior and it raised red flags.
One day I was doing homework with her, and I could feel his eyes piercing burning a hole on my face. I turned around and saw him watching me so I said, " is everything ok"? He said, "no continue with the homework." The nerve of him. Of course I thought that he was jealous of our bond or maybe he wanted my attention. Either way I was turned off and disgusted by such behavior. My child comes, first always have, always will.
That night he left and went to his house. He stayed there for three days. We eventually spoke and he came over to talk to me. The conversation ended in us agreeing to a divorce. I told him I'd rather cut ties now while we have no strings attached, meaning mutual children. He said he'd pay for it and the papers will be sent to me to sign. I was happy I dodged a bullet.
Four months later our divorce was finalized. Our short escapade was over and done and it was literally half a year. I learned a very valuable lesson. I'd rather keep my sanity than live in misery.
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She expresses her gift of writing through each piece. She studied writing in college and has been inspiring people for 20 years. She gives back to the community & enriches them with enlightenment. Philanthropist, Empath and Nature lover.