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Mama Wolf

by Sai Marie Johnson about a year ago in parents
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Her Love and Loyalty Never Ends

A beautiful lady and an inspiring angel.

My mother never had it easy in life. She was born with a hearing impairment in the mid-sixties. Not only that, but she was also a biracial child with a white mother and a Native American father. However, her mother was not very present in her life and as a result she was fostered by her half-sister’s family who didn't always treat her so kindly. In fact, they paraded her around for being a Native girl during community events and often subjected her to worse treatment and bullying. This followed her into public school where she endured countless rumors but as she grew older she started to become pretty and the boys started to notice her. This didn't make things any easier, however, as she found herself the victim of slanderous lies due other girls' jealousy. As a result, my mom had poor confidence and felt abandoned by those who were supposed to love her. She also got told she should just give up any dream she held for herself because her disability wouldn't allow her to achieve anything. It was recommended that she go to Salem to the deaf school and accept a social security disability check to live off of. But, my mom didn't want that life. She loved reading, she loved helping others and she had a huge spirit with an epic sense of adventure. She wanted to see the world and enjoy all the riches it had to offer and she had an appetite for life. She was fascinated by composers like Mozart and Beethoven, especially, due to his hearing impairment and ability to create such amazing pieces. She was a hopeless romantic with a heart of gold who loved animals, people and her environment and all she wanted was to nurse and nurture those in need while being an attentive and loving wife. But, life didn’t work out exactly as my mother hoped, or wanted.

Because of her own Cinderella complex, my mom was the gullible young woman who quickly fell in love and wound up married and pregnant by the time she was 18. She had me one month prior to her 19th birthday and a week after my father's 21st. They had not even been married an entire year yet, as they had just gotten hitched the October before. My mom being a young wife quickly found herself depressed and the victim of post-partum while my dad began working and spending more and more time off at the strip clubs and bars. Staying home with a baby everyday began to take its toll, but my dad didn't want his wife being out working and this posed a problem when my mother said she wanted to go to college.

By the time I was eight, my parents were separated pending a divorce and both had children with other people. Mom quickly got into a relationship that developed into domestic violence but she didn't have a good support system and when her boyfriend began beating her up there wasn't anyone there to stop him. After a few years, my mom left that relationship and went on to enter college. To date, she has won several notable awards and has three different college degrees, despite what her early years brought her and the naysaying of others. It's her willpower and resilience that taught me the most, and I believe that is what has led me to be so tenacious in my own adult life. If there is one thing for sure, my mother is a dedicated and loving force and I will forever be proud to be her daughter.

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About the author

Sai Marie Johnson

A multi-genre author, poet, creative&creator. Resident of Oregon; where the flora, fauna, action & adventure that bred the Pioneer Spirit inspire, "Tantalizing, titillating and temptingly twisted" tales.

Pronouns: she/her

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