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Lose

My experience

By Rosa OnlinePublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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There are many kinds of losses, from losing a shoe or a phone but in worst cases, a loss is losing someone, maybe a friend through an argument or a death in your family.

People perceive losses in different ways; for instance, if a person loses a credit card it can easily be sorted by cancelling your card through the bank, or if you lose a shoe you can easily purchase a new one. However, on a more serious note, when someone loses a close friend or family member they can be completely torn to pieces, but on rare occasions they are fine and can come realisation a lot quicker.

The loss of someone can trigger depression or anxiety, this may be because they feel like a piece of them has been removed and isn't coming back (instead the piece will be filled later on).

Losing a friend can either be a good or bad thing but it all depends on the situation for instance if you feel like you are being dragged down them, it's probably a good thing however if you know you've done nothing wrong and it's all them, it can mental hurt for a long time especially if you'd call them a best friend.

Losing a family member (including pets) can be mentally and heart straining. If it's someone you had a close bond with you feel like you haven't spent enough time with them however the closeness you had adopted with them proves that you are incorrect. If they are a long distance cousin (for example) then it won't be as sad or if they pass away when you are young the emotions don't really apply as you haven't spent half the time with them as others. Losing a pet like a dog or even a fish can still be heart breaking. For dogs, they are a mans best friend so it is losing a companion. For those that don't have pets don't truly understand the pain as they don't have that connection with an animal. When someone says "It's only a...", it really aggravates me because they don't fully understand the meaning of a pet. I'll tend to say "Get your own pet and then think about what you say!" It may be brutal, however, they have no evidence to go on, therefore they can't judge—don't judge a book by its cover.

For me the loss of a family member breaks me completely. I feel like I'm in a coma when I first get told (this only applies to close family members). The shock is like a twenty-foot wave smacking right around the face. I've had my fair share of losses over the past few years and sadly they were all very close to my heart. I think you build yourself up for the funeral but when you get there, you just cry non-stop for most of the day. I was 14 when I went to my first funeral, and I thought I was prepared for the funeral that was awaiting my arrival but no, completely and utterly no! The shock of seeing a coffin throws me off the rails completely, and during the whole day I feel like I'm suffocating; this is partly to do with the crying. Honestly, you can't really prepare yourself, sadly. All you can do is think of all the positive memories you've shared with the person; however, sometimes this isn't enough. My most recent funeral was this year and I can't express how distraught I was after the death, as it was very unexpected. This time around there was no religious service only a small cremation but still, the effect is the same.

Luckily, I've only lost one pet (a dog), however this was the hardest loss I've ever had to face, as this dog had grown up with me for 16 years (this year). She was my best friend as a child and although we didn't have a service to say farewell, putting down a dog is similar. My parents didn't involve me in the putting down, which was probably for the best as I don't think I could have handled it... the loss was enough. As soon as I heard the news, I got brought home from school and slept and cried all day. The past few months have been horrible, I continue to get constant reminders of my dog is gone by photos or even looking at my other dog. It is painful and don't let anyone fool you.

Any loss is painful and if you need help with overcoming it then that can easily be arranged. You could go to your Local GP, your Councillor, or just talk about it—it can really help. My advice is don't let it sizzle as one day you'll crack. Also, don't be embarrassed to cry, we are all allowed to cry and you shouldn't feel judged.

grief
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