Little Black Book

Today feels like the day that the hurricane hits me. I tell myself this everyday while eager with anticipation. Some days are sprinkled with inspiration. I make sure to document those sprinkles, so I can use them later to create the hurricane that I’m longing for. I have a little sprinkle collector that I keep with me always. That little black notebook has seen and heard things that would make your mother blush. I mean, you just never know when the hurricane will come in. I consciously tell myself that I will be receptive to whatever form that inspiration comes in, without getting in its way. I observe everything to see if that inspiration is peeking around the corner. I also have to remind myself that while I’m focusing on what’s peeking, that the inspiration could be walking right past me. Don’t fixate is what I can hear my nana say to me softly. Just be open.

You see, that little black notebook was given to me by my great-grandmother, Martha. She was a great writer and always hoped that someone in the family would follow in her footsteps. She always told me, “Creativity will take the world to new heights.” When she passed, she had written her will in her very own little black notebook. She arranged for the reading of her letter of instructions to be read in a very dramatic fashion. She wanted us all to arrive dressed as our favorite author or character from a book. You see, she tried to make us all avid readers and creative thinkers. I, of course, dressed as the witty Zora Neale Hurston. When all was settled, it was announced last that I inherited $20,000, allotted by my great-grandmother, to be used to fuel creativity in the world. I strive every single moment to make her, and myself, very proud. You see, I fully intend to step into the destiny that was prepared for me in advance. I consider myself lucky in a way. I didn’t have to go searching for what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I already know that my purpose is to continue my nana’s legacy and fulfill her dreams for me.

I always remember how I felt listening to nana’s writing. I felt butterflies, full of hope, and amazement. Anything felt like it was possible coming from her pages. I couldn’t wait to find out what happened on the next page. I sat in awe of how one person's mind could dream the grandest dreams. It was intoxicating. I couldn’t wait to have more words. I needed more words. It gave me an adrenaline rush and sparked my fire. My eyes would be so large as to expand what I could take into my mind. A silly smirk would form on the corners of my lips. I want that desperately. I want to give that feeling to others that don’t even know they need it. That is what I think my nana meant. If more people focused on seeking that feeling through words, from reading and writing, the world would just open wide up. I take it as my duty to let more people know that wonder is possible and very necessary. Wonder is a cloud that allows you to be weightless and float above everything bad, to get to the good. It is our duty to bring the good back with us.

My great-grandmother had the foresight that I still don’t fully understand, but appreciate. Sometimes those that love you can see you far deeper than you can yourself. There’s a saying ‘You can’t see the forest for the trees. I will remain open to receive creativity through whatever vessel it so chooses.