LIFE OF THE ESTRANGED

INTRODUCTION Since the appearance of EVE in the GARDEN OF EDEN and LUCY, the missing link in Charles Darwin's theory of Evolution; women have been struggling to find their niche in the world. Through ERA and the gender war, she has endeavored to remain demure, while controlling a jack hammer. She strives to hold down two full time jobs, a part time job and cook the three or four eggs necessary to hold her place in the society of her own family unit. Sometimes, during all these endeavors, she gets lost. Knocked around in the callous world while trying to find herself, she is forced to live a

LIFE OF THE ESTRANGED

SHE WAS RETURNED NOW TO THE HOME... the one her husband furnished... heated and stocked with food brought in by him. Returned to what is left of a marriage; what remains of their relationship - on his terms. Otherwise homeless, she "cow tows" to fit within his created kingdom, a single story three bedroom ranch house he rents from a friend at his old job. This allows a safer place than the streets. She thought about those other people now, who are not so lucky and who live under a bridge like the girl Sudie. Sudie grew up with her down south and had somehow wandered back into her grown-up life. This grown-up life which had now gone sour and resulted in homelessness for both of them. Sudie, 55 years old with no husband or children lives under the bridge on King Street. Sudie has five years before she can claim her husband's pension. Her children, one five years dead and the other strung out on the cocaine that her grandson sells locally because he wants to be a "HIGH ROLLER." Sudie who would work as the highly paid secretary that she used to be, can't because of her condition. Sudie had a nervous breakdown when husband John died from a bullet wound... made by a gun that her daughter was holding. Her daughter who needed the money to get a fix. Money that John had in his pocket and would not give up. Sudie had no easy way out. Those other people probably don't either.

"I'm surprised to get a call from you, I would have thought you would be on some serious work assignment or busy with one of your classes or something." She cast a glance up from the previously burdened appearance she had presented for the past half hour. "How am I doing?" The guest smiled uncomfortably. This unexpected representation of the person she had labeled friend was causing disease. There was usually a higher atmosphere surrounding their visits. This comment drew uncertainty to a maximum, but a response of, "It's going along fine," then, "I thought I could stack my deck... visit a friend and get paid for it! How's that for planning!" A chuckle followed causing the host to relax a few of the deep furrows in her forehead. She was thinking too much about too many things, obviously. It was going to be one difficult interview.

Women were coming into what seemed to be an evolving state of confusion. The ongoing ERA issues bolstered by age old traditional gender roles in family and dating buffered by the shortage of men due to the evolving ONE WORLD philosophy was beginning to create unrest among the masses. These issues coupled with massing problems of employment and education folding their tables in preference of foreign soil were creating unforeseen havoc in areas that would otherwise have never been a consideration or an established relationship or been a challenge to one's determined independence... male or female. These facts firmly in mind, the guest carefully allayed her approach for this interview of a woman on retreat. She had known Sammy in the better years. The company she had worked for was one of the mainstays of United States industry. It was a major backbone of the agricultural and the industrial forces of the country. This corporation alone had supported the work forces of three states in its factories, provided farmers with equipment of every type from small motor hand held cutting machines (chain saws) to large overhead cranes and turbines. It supplied auto manufacturers with everything from engine parts to massive diesel engines... the entire motor. They did everything from processing raw materials to fabricating and assembly of the finished product. Needless to say, it fed a lot of families regardless of the makeup of that family. Both the professional white collar worker to the usually ignored blue collar worker... heads of household or family member thereof earned their fair share of wages from this one company. Although many would have liked to consider it to be all American, in actuality, it was Japanese American in its venture. A merger of invention and necessity. Sammy had pulled her children, five of them, through completion of grade school and high school in her years with this corporation before it folded upon its loyal workforce. It had folded rapidly, crushing the base of several cities with unemployment and loss of tax revenue. To make matters worse, the three years following saw close of relocation of several more regional foundations of industry. Factories closed like an upset chain of dominoes. Without finances and a stable base of support, without positive hope for direction and regrowth; it was vain to imagine anyone locating a sound mate for a relationship or maintaining one already in existence. Without calm conscience of future and finance and entity... individual or collective, can not establish outside of self in good sound mind. The domino effect toppled more than purse strings. It represented the collapse of a society. All this in mind, the guest rethinks her invasion to this woman's privacy. The image before her was only a pittance of what she knew had existed in what seemed a more than distant past. It would be a difficult assignment. As she felt for words to initiate this now burdensome task before her, she looked her victim over and added to her original notes. She sits, one cushion's space on the sofa, feet tucked tight against the sofa base.. hands clasped with thumbs twiddling. Her head is tucked with eyes cast down careful not to look her guest in the eye. A visible idea comes to mind and she offers coffee in an attempt at showing a personable side of herself. Then, in answer to the offer, "Why yes, I'd love some, thank you!" Her eyes sparked at the thought of improved personality possible from her friend. Sammy stood straight up, careful not to touch either of the cushions adjacent to that on which she has been sitting. Rhonda reminded her of the friend from youth that had given her this nickname, "Sammy" which had managed to follow her into these later years. Later years that had not gone as planned but were not as sour as some of those OTHER PEOPLE. A quick mental flash of her friend Sudie and the bad luck updates on other high school classmates caused her head to drop slightly and shake in disappointment at the outcomes of so many hopeful lives. It could be easy to resent having given permission for this interrogation. Rather than preempt the situation, she smiled again and went for the coffee thinking, "He may not miss two scoops." He had some, though not her brand, in the low cabinet. With so much time before her own finance would begin again, she felt as if it were necessary to be cautious in her liberties. These were all his things. The relationship, what remained of it, had been weathered by invasions by other men and women, lack of monies and the uncertainty of where the future would take either of them. Friends had died or moved away from their social group, work and club buddies had faded to what they considered to be greener pastures. Most familiar couples or individuals who remained were no longer familiar, but strangers in their new personalities. The change in status had created entirely new animals of them all, including this man the courts called her husband. In this state of mind, she was even a stranger to herself. As she re entered the room, she chucked out loud and mumbled to her guest, "Ten years kind of made us all into an ALIEN NATION huh?" She passed a mug to Rhonda, stepped over to the living room window and moved the curtain slightly, just enough to peek outside at the empty street just beyond. Satisfied, she returned to the sofa and sat ridgedly, being mindful of her coffee; careful not to spill it on his couch. "I guess we just didn't know where to stop all this, huh?" She looked back at Rhonda. This friend-guest was somewhat of a libber. She believed in assertiveness in women and pulling her fair share of work, and being paid an equal amount of money for her work accomplished. Rhonda had spoken often and demonstrated her determination toward becoming a source to be reckoned with in the occupation she had chosen. Sammy had known her in her ascent from that boring state job and had been a sounding board in the decision to make the that career change. The change from a non gender based job to one considered to be man's domain was a statement and a slap to many men's egos and masculinity. The had not considered it to be an affront to manhood for the woman to pursue what she considered to be a professional, necessary and satisfying career, one that represented a dream of a lifetime. With her head screwed on right, as far as they were concerned, Rhonda had made the step and was now riding the crest of a tsunami herself. She wasn't lucky enough to have a husband to run back to when or if things fell. This made her think back to Sudie again; who would have thought that could have ever happened in a thousand years.

"Did you burn your bra?" Rhonda looked up at this peculiar question. It was a one hundred eighty degree change in conversation. "Well, not exactly. I kind of supported the other girls burning theirs. I needed mine. But that is a good note to put in here." They laughed at the ludicrous angles people were willing to take with pushing principles and issues. "I guess what we really need to get down to is the question of where we are really going with all of this." After a short pause, she added, "You were one solid foundation in what we local folk consider a gender struggle. Your early determination, like so many other women, who had to for one reason or other, tote your own bale." Sammy stared at her. Continuing, Rhonda reviewed the onset of women in the workplace and the original debates between men and women, media included; of where their place actually was. Sammy stopped her short at the issue of place in a relationship. "Do you think there ever really was a PLACE for women in the world? I mean, with men writing everything way back in history, women being the ones to be seen and not heard; where were we really supposed to start of stop? Were we really just supposed to let family crumble without a man around? Weaker sex? Maybe we just got beside ourselves with actually living, huh?" "I didn't really ever consider just doing nuthin. My children would have been hungry. I should say hungrier, because sometimes it got pretty close to being nothing around to eat short of what I could borrow. And I don't mean the money either. They, family included, will loan food before they turn loose of their money. I wonder what would have happened if I just hadn't done anything. I couldn't not take a man's job... if that's who was supposed to have it, just because it was labeled man's job in somebody's mind. It was easier for me to work that job than to wait or go look for some man to work it for me. After all, when your stomach growls and you can't hear it for three or four other stomachs growling around you, who the heck's got time to go courtin'?" She paused for a breath of air then continued, "The way I see it, they just planned on us failing. It was their jobs that paid money, and their jobs that were available, they weren't working and they weren't willing to stay home or to help somebody else's. Something had to happen. I worked some man's job regardless of how heavy the pieces were or how hard it... the job was even if it made him angry. It just so happened there was a lot of hims out there, and a lot of women working their jobs. But the children ate, and had roof over their heads, clothes to wear and health insurance for their bare bottom times. It wasn't the way it should have been but who can tell the man that had the family in the first place, what's going wrong? You can't win... might as well burn your bra and your girdle and just let it all hang our because eventually you end up in the street or stuck back in a mold or on a string and wondering, like him, where you're headed." By the close of her statement she had slipped back into that blank stare. Sammy was one of the originals, after her mother's wave of women had taken a passive step toward carrying the flag of brevity, wearing pants with or without the cover of a dress... but bold none the less. Making decisions and moves to buying their own homes with or without the presence of a husband and dictating change to policy and procedures once established by the more respected men above her. This movement was not about race or religion, wasn't about gender issues but about basic survival of a family unit after its abandonment by the male in the family. Sammy's generation had been the ones to actually work the man's job respectively harder, in the physical aspect. They were forced into the decision making role by the disappearance of their men for one reason or another. This made them become a force to be reckoned with or avoided. They were avoided on most levels. When Rhonda's group came along with a vengeance born of frustration from trying to make the traditional family unit a revived and operable machine, coupled with the excitement of personal and group challenge, the cause was born and the Equal Rights Amendment became a banner which would reach into the homes of every involved or uninvolved man and woman, but would hit most of them if not all of them in their crotch. It became a sex battle over and aside from gender. This commingled with the age old issues of race and religion flavored with issues of and about various interspersed disabilities would cause the defeat of a sleeping giant and if not careful, his neighbors.

With five or six pages for her story, Rhonda turned her thoughts to her own future, "You know, I haven't met anyone lately but I really would have liked a relationship before I died. You think I.. I.. I...," she stumbled to get the next words out, "Sammy, do you think there are any men left out there?" The older woman looked at her with furrows newly attached to her forehead... "Girl... have you missed this whole issue?" Don't you see what my life is looking like? are you crazy?" She quickly added, "...and don't get married." You'll end up dead, homeless or hopeless ... or something, somewhere by yourself! It ain't even worth it." With a glazed look in her eyes, Rhonda responded with, "I'll keep all of this in mind, you can bank on that. It just gets lonely in restaurants and on all these outings by myself. You'd think there would be at least one male to share some kind of time with. I guess they all went to the third world someplace. Maybe that's the only place to get a man. If I go there shopping, I'll make even more enemies among the men I don't even know or get supported by. Strange, isn't it?" Rhonda was slipping more into her own blank stare now. "I wonder if I join the Peace Corps would I find someone I'll like? If not, there probably be lots of non principled, moral less people to run a wanton havoc filled lifestyle, just like we used to have, huh?" She continued, "Just like it used to be. You think they know about ERA over there?" She stood to let her host show her to the door. It was getting close to time for the husband to return. Promising to give her a copy of the finished story, she stepped out. Then, just before stepping off the porch, she turned back to Sammy, "It's kind of like a tennis game, huh? You're the ball... the star of the game. You want to be in it but you just keep getting hit by the racket." She stepped down and sauntered over to her car. As she pulled out of the driveway, Sammy locked the screen door and closed the heavy wooden front door turning the lock on the handle. She sat back on the sofa with her mug to wait for his arrival and decisions of what they would eat. The blank stare on her face returned. After twenty plus years of playing hard core independent, she wasn't sure of what the proper gender role or behavior was. The husband was coming back home.

Like what you read? Send me a gift tip and or subscription below to help contribute to my next adventure! Thank you in advance!