Life Lessons: How Not to Cook

Parents are responsible for shaping us into who we are. Some parents take that responsibility very seriously and work together to raise their child or children when some simply deny all responsibility. This is how I grew up. In a single-parent household with my Mum leading the charge. No father or siblings in my world, just me, my Mum and my Grandparents.

None of what is written down here is a complaint. My father never wanted to know me and I have accepted this years ago, focusing on the love that my Mum and Grandparents offered to me. I was lucky to have them and could have turned out very differently, which is not to say that I am perfect, as I am not. I still regularly fart when I should not and spend far more money on Amazon and eBay than should be allowed.

I am not perfect but I am perfectly happy with the way that I was raised. Whilst my Mum's cooking would drop an elephant and I learned these skills from my Nan, my Mum was always there for me. She never gave up, working jobs that she hated to ensure that I had food on my plate. This is something that I will never be able to repay, at least until she retires.

How Not to Cook

Have you ever attempted not to swallow? Don't make your own jokes here, this is only related to food. I mean that when my Mum cooked for me, the best choice available was often to swallow whole and avoid tasting the meal. My Mum is many things but a gourmet cook, she is not. More, can't cook, shouldn't cook, she just does not have the patience. It is something that has improved with age but when I was younger, it was challenging at times.

Seeing potatoes that had barely been cooked, chicken nuggets that could have doubled as ice hockey pucks and carrots slimier than the average eel. The only meals that I looked forward to were my Nan's roast at the weekend, cheesy beans on toast and takeaway. Other than that it was the deserts and or portion of the fruit that I truly looked forward to. These were a reprieve from the roulette wheel of bad.

She meant well and so it wasn't a case of needing to call child services, it was that she just cannot cook but believes she can. She loves cooking, believing that she is a good cook and therefore, who would I have been to take that away? We all want to feel like we are the best at something. My Mum believes that she can cook and this is why, even today, I will make an effort to look like I am enjoying the food.

It is a lesson for all of us that sometimes, telling the truth is not the best option.

Most Significant Lesson

Beyond how not to cook, My Mum taught me many things. The first of which is to always be grateful for what you have. It is something that has been instilled into me from a young age.

It is something that has only been heightened by the arrival of the pandemic, which could have been a lot worse for many of us. We can all be so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget the troubles of the world around us. India right now is in crisis and people are concerned with being able to head to the pub. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like the pub like the next man but everything needs to be looked at from a point of gratitude.

Growing up we were not a wealthy family. This is something that taught me the value of a gift and being grateful for what you are provided with. It is something that my Mum passed along to me, as it was passed on to her by her parents. The value of saying thank you.

It is the thought that counts. You may not always like what is provided, but the fact that someone has thought of you is what you need to take away. In India the situation is dire. It is horrible to consider and my heart goes out to all of them, and I think that if we ended up in that situation, would the world help us? I hope so.

Being grateful for the smallest things is the key lesson that my Mum passed along to me. Saying thank you for everything that I have and not being selfish, thinking of others first.

A Secondary Lesson

Thinking of others first. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes and thinking about how your actions could affect them. We can become self-involved on occasion and I hold myself up in that sense to say that I am not perfect, but I do always try. My Mum in always told me that if I was ever feeling down and like the world was against me, then I should just walk into the nearest hospital and I would find hundreds wishing to be me.

Not being able to go to the pub or to see my friends is a shame. I miss them, one more than the other, but I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful that I have had my fiancee with me every day and I have not felt lonely. I am grateful to have the opportunity to change and be able to speak to those I care about instantly. Having an Amazon delivery is a want, not a need. What the world needs right now is to work together and help those less fortunate.

I have always tried to help others in my own way. Sometimes it has been successful and other times it has failed but I have always tried and will keep trying until I cannot try anymore. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference and rarely fell into the well of self-pity. I am grateful for my life and would miss all those that I hold close, my Mum included.

Trust

The importance of keeping your word. This is something which my Mum and wider family instilled at a young age. If you say something, then mean it and deliver on your word, or have a damn good reason not to. Trust is something that takes years to create and seconds to break. Whilst lies are not challenged the majority of the time, you know that behind the scenes people are taking stock.

We have long memories as a species. You can make mistakes, we all do, but if you continue to make promises that you fail to deliver on, then who would believe a word that you say? Just look at the Prime Minister, he has consistently failed to live up to his word. He has shifted the truth time and time again and is the butt of a lot of jokes. Yes, he is still Prime Minister but that is more through laziness and people's perception that it is better the devil you know than the one you don't right now.

For me, I only give my word if I know that I can deliver on what I am saying. I do not lie. There is no point in lying, as you will always be found out, much like my Mum and my Father. He lied about a lot of things and I always think to myself that I never want to become him. Even though I have never met him, I know that I don't want to become him.

A Final Thought

Our Mum's make a difference to our lives. They first and foremost bring us into this world, instil lessons and teach us right from wrong. My Mum, despite being a terrible cook has taught me many lessons. From patience to being grateful for what you have, to keeping your word. I am thankful that I was born into such a loving family and know that I will cherish the memories in which we have.

I love you, Mum.