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Life Can Change When You Least Expect It....

Coping with Change

By Brandis GeddesPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Attitude about Life Changes, from Covid to Caregiving, can get you out of bed in the morning or see you in your pj’s eating potato chips at three in the afternoon.

We have all been living in a changed world since March 2020. However, the changes to my world have been going on much longer.

When my Husband and I were first married - life was great- economy was good, we had a successful company, a dream house my husband designed especially for us and two angelic (kind of) stepchildren. Adjusting to the change of married life was very easy for me. I had a lot of respect for my Husband and everything he had accomplished and was continuing to accomplish.

We traveled extensively- crusies, tropical vacations, driving trips, motorcycle trips all over the US and if we saw something we liked, we bought it.

The Recession came and with it some of these “changes” I am referring to. We had employed a business advising Company to help us “tighten our belts” and just make it through the devestation of the economy.

We worked closely with a personal advisor who told us to “hold off on paying payroll taxes” and to lay off over 60 people. We had no reason to doubt that his advice was sound - their Firm had come highly recommended. We soon found ourselves looking at closing our doors for good or, potentially selling our assets to someone who wanted to make a new company. Our business advisor negotiated a deal with another local business owner and strongly advised us to take it. The best part of this deal was that most of our employees would be employed by this new owner and my Husband would have a job. Both of those things were very attractive so, we signed the deal.

The new owner was very havy cavy with his accounting and his partner- “the money man”, pulled the owner’s strings. (Our former bank had directed that I be present in an advisory capacity to oversee the billing and receipts.)

Within three months the new “owners” had run a sixty year old company and it’s assets into the ground. Leaving us with no company, no retirement, no jobs, and no funds, and a $60,000 IRS bill for payroll taxes that we had been advised to “put off”. Of Course, there were soon late pay notices on our heavily mortgaged home.

My Husband and I had mortgaged our home to the nines to grasp at any financial lifeline we could. Our whole goal, if we couldn’t save the company, was to save our Home. It was way more than a Home for us- it was “The house that made us”. The simple fact that our home had been designed especially for us by my Husband, built, and landscaped by he and I all led to so many good memories there- it’s where our roots ran deep.

Needless to say, we had to file a personal bankruptcy which was a horrible situation- but, the only one open to us.

...Change had Come.

Through it all my Husband I stayed strong as a Team. It was our Faith, our love, and in large part our attitudes which helped us through these situations which had led to divorce in so many of our contemporaries.

While our circumstances completely flipped us upside down- it was still “ok”because we were going through it together. We communicated with each other- not superficially, but sincerely. The other person’s thoughts and opinions were respected. Having this feeling of security with each other helped us continue to grow as a couple.

Sure there were hard days. Just like so many have been going through hard times because of Covid. Finding themselves without jobs and trying to keep their homes out of “forbearance” is an eerily familiar scene. My heart goes out to each and every one dealing with this change in their circumstances. My advice is not to close yourselves off- especially from each other. Attitude and communication are key to getting through this and coming out the other side stronger, not defeated.

We used to jokingly say that “we would be just as happy living in a one room cabin in the country so long as we were together”. Those words became prophetic as my next article will show....

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About the Creator

Brandis Geddes

I have been single, married, widowed. I have gone from riches to simple. I have been an entrepreneur, employed, & an employer. I have been a caregiver for my Husband as he battled and lost the battle with ALS. I want to share my story....

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