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Letter to My Children's Mother

Open Letter to My Children's Mother

By Ace WittesPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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An Open Letter To My Children’s Bio Mom

Dear woman that gave birth to my children,

Over the years there have been many things I have really wanted to say to you. Many of them have not been nice in the least. I came into my children’s lives almost nine years ago. I have loved them more each day from the moment I met them.

You have hated me all these years and for me that’s ok. I have been the mother that you couldn’t be or just plainly refused to be. I understand that you were young and obviously had no real example of how to be a mother, as your own was not a very good one either. I have been there through the court battles and the child support hearings that you rarely attend. I will always be there. I have been there through all their ups and downs with them. Waking up with them in the middle of the night when they have been sick and missing work to get them to doctor’s appointments. Or when my son’s best friend died and he needed someone to hold his hand at his funeral. I have also been there to witness their shining moments and triumph. Watch my son on the baseball diamond glow with confidence. Or watch my daughter on a horse completely at home in the saddle.

There is a darker side though, a more tragic side that you have nor will you ever see. Whether it is from your own selfishness or stupidity, I am not sure. You have broken my baby’s hearts too many times. They have given up on you just as they feel you have given up on them. Don’t worry though, I am strong enough to love them through it and support them when they fall apart. When they wonder why the woman that gave birth to them didn’t want them enough to show up to visit them. When my daughter falls apart because the only memories she has of the woman that was supposed to love her and be there for her are bad and scary. When my son has a hard time letting any female get close to him, I let him know that not all women are bad. I let him vent his frustrations to me and even sometimes become his target because you treated him so poorly. I let him be a kid when you made him feel he couldn’t. I know when my kids both cuddle up to me and tell me they love me, I must be doing something right. I continue to stick by them and love them.

The fact is I feel sorry for you. That you still play petty games and steal photos that CLEARLY do not belong to you, is on you, it's sad and pathetic. You do not know these wonderful humans that my children are in spite of you. Long gone are they days I try to explain to them that you were just too young and they should try not to hate you. They don’t call you mom, they call you by your name or womb donor, because that in fact is exactly what you are to them. A body that held them for nine months so that their mommy could love them forever. I do not understand you and I don’t think I ever will. I could never nor will I ever walk away from them. I will always be there for them. I hope one day they can let go of the anger they have for you. Not for you but for them. Where I may feel like you deserve to suffer knowing that they hate you I do not want them to be burdened with the pain that hate and anger causes. You have been absent for many years and the sad part is they still fear you.

I do not hate you, I do not feel anything for you. I love my children too much for all that. So I thank you, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be their mom when they needed one. I take that job very seriously. Obviously more seriously than you have or ever did. But I did not write this to drag you through the mud or call you names. I wrote this because it deserves to be known. That even if you continue to run your mouth about how I am not their mother and never will be, I am the one here. So ask yourself where were you? Where were you when all these major life events took place? And when you weren’t there who was? It was me and will always be me. So go ahead and talk, that’s ok I don’t mind, because I know what’s important and I know where I will always be.

Sincerely,

Your children’s Mommy

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