Let’s Talk About the Jealousy Between Brothers

Brotherhood rivalry has existed since time immemorial, but it seems that by using your tact, patience, and diplomacy, you can alleviate the envy, jealousy, and negative feelings that surround your soul.

The key to this problem is with you - through the art of communicating and building a relationship based on love and solidarity between children, you will be able to bring peace and harmony to your home.

Tell your first child about the baby that will be born soon

From the moment of pregnancy, she informs the older child that she will have another brother or sister and mentally prepares him for the reception of a new, smaller, weaker family member, whom he will have to protect.

Do not avoid talking about the baby, but explain to the child what he or she means by the birth of a sibling. Encourage him to touch and caress your belly, to talk to the little one, reminding him every time that you also caressed him and talked to him since he was in your belly.

Sometimes it is good to take your baby with you during pregnancy checks and ultrasounds, showing them in the ultrasound images that his brother or sister is there and allowing him to listen to his heartbeat.

Ask him for help

After the birth of the little one, involve the older one in the household activities and ask for his help regarding the care of the new family member.

Emphasize that he is bigger and stronger and helps you take great care of your baby - so he will feel important to you and will begin to love and protect your baby.

Make special time for the big one

The baby takes up most of your time and you barely have time for yourself. The older child will notice that he is no longer the center of attention, will feel neglected, and will find the baby guilty of the whole story.

Take advantage of the moments when the little one is sleeping or when someone else is watching him for a few hours and spends time exclusively with the older child, showing him that you have not forgotten him and he is just as important to you. Read him a story, talk to him, and find out his passions.

It is also very useful to enroll him in kindergarten, where he will meet children his age and make friends. That way you won't miss it so much.

It doesn't always show them that they are equal

But do not always buy the same gifts, sweets or toys, do not participate in the same activities with both children - keep in mind that each has his age and personality.

When arguing, don't get too involved

Don't interfere in their affairs, leave them alone - they quarrel, they reconcile (as long as there is no quarrel between them). It does not force them to reconcile immediately, to embrace and to love each other.

Give them some time to rest and have discussions with each other, analyze the situation with them, and explain to them what they each did wrong so that over time it does not happen again.

The older child should not be beaten or punished worse than the younger one just because he is "older". Thus hatred and envy for his brother or sister will sprout in his soul when he sees that he is always rebuked for all the mistakes, including the smallest.

Don't compare them

Be careful what discussions you have with your children or with the world around them. Try not to compare them so as not to make any of them feel inferior - each one is different in his way and does things as well as he can.

Tips, compliments, praises, or reprimands should be given separately, so as not to give the impression that they are in any kind of competition.

Moments of rivalry and jealousy are inevitable between brothers, but that doesn't mean they don't fall in love. It's all up to you to bring out the love and affection hidden in their soul.