Joseph

My brother is the best father figure anyone could ask for, and even though he's younger than me, I still look up to him. Don't you dare tell him I said that, or I'll never hear the end of it!

I do mean that I literally look up to him, as he is much taller than I am, but I also want to highlight how amazing he is as a person, because he deserves the recognition.

Joe is my younger brother, and he is the wisest of all three children in our family. There was always conflict between my older sister and I, and he was always a rock of stoicism and comedy when we needed peace or distraction. Throughout a tumultuous childhood, he was always steadfast and calm.

He was bullied when we were kids for his weight and because he, like me, is generally weird. But I think we are the fun kind of weird. He and I bond over anime, books, Doctor Who, puns, and the way he constantly makes fun of me for my Harry Potter obsessions.

You know, like siblings do.

While it's easy to joke about how we've all grown since we were kids, I don't think Joe gets enough acknowledgement. He's sacrificed a lot of his own life in order to care for my sister's two children.

My niece and nephew are 8 years apart, and Joe has been the father figure to both, from the time we were basically teenagers. He has a profound parental instinct I never knew. I often wonder where he learned it, or if he's just meant to be a dad.

Maybe it has to do with nurturing his own inner child and being what he needed as a child. Maybe it's because he's the fun uncle and will read, sing, dance, and play with the kids in whatever way they want. But he's really stepped up to the plate.

Our own father stepped away from the family when we were relatively young, which has led to a series of events in our family that are generally unhappy memories. Since then, our lives have been riddled in the throes of drug addiction, abusive relationships, fighting, and a lot of trauma for the children who are at the middle of it all. This has been a constant pressure in our family.

We've had a lot to deal with since our own father left, without any guidance from the man who shares our DNA. He's not dead, or anything, he's just... living in a whole other world, with his wife and three cats. It's been ages since I've spoken to him. I don't have any hate for the life he chose -- everyone must make their own path -- but I don't have a lot of understanding for the way he chose to be a father.

I think my brother is much better at it.

We all in our own way have tried to fill the void of our missing paternal figure - my sister sought men. I looked into art. But my brother did what was probably the wisest thing of all: he became what he was missing and chose to be the older male figure our family desperately needed.

Joe made sure those two children had someone to smile with through all the bad things.

I admire his patience and his dedication. I am amazed at his kindness in the face of this constant familial adversity. I marvel at his strength where others of us are weak. I wish I could be more like him, and I strive to do so every day.

I know he's been through so much to get himself to the point of always giving, always loving, and always forgiving.

I think part of this has to do with our Christian upbringing, though none of us practice.

I came to the realization that my parents named him Joseph for a reason: perhaps, as difficult as this path is, he is meant to be the father figure to a child that wasn't his, like the biblical man Jesus himself knew and loved.

I like to think it's a beautiful metaphor for our lives, and while I'm not sure the second coming of Christ lives in our family, I do believe the love of the Universe, or God, or Source lives in my brother.

So I look up to him. Yes, he does make jokes that I'm short. He also says I need to watch more of his favorite anime, and he always has a pun up his sleeve. He's making art. He's making smiles. And he's giving back what he never received.

I think there's absolutely nothing more masculine in the world than that: to love one another unconditionally, just like Joseph of Nazareth.