It Is All About You!!!

Can we first admit that pregnancy is one of the most vulnerable times a woman will experience in her life? If you are anything like me you like control and pregnancy literally takes over everything (even your bodily functions). Rendering your mind, body, and soul to the epic adventure that is pregnancy is hard but amazing at the same time. Unfortunately, despite the intensive work it takes to literally grow an entire human being from scratch, there are several women who feel their pregnancy and birth we're not theirs.

I can relate to feeling robbed of the magical transition into motherhood. My first pregnancy, although great and resulted in the cutest little boy ever (I'm not biased in anyway), feels more like a time of pain than joy. From the moment my husband and I found out I was pregnant we already had built our birth plan. We decided on a homebirth with the support of two incredible midwives. Of course, we knew that babies have a mind of their own and accepted the possibility that things would go as planned. Unfortunately, I did not have the support of my family for our choice of bringing our son in to the world. What should have been amazing conversations about motherhood turned into arguments about the chance I had at dying at home. I refused to let someone rewrite my story so I immediately distanced myself from those people, for the duration of my pregnancy. I'm not a fan of negativity and although I'm all for sharing concerns don't try to instill fear into my heart.

All was well again until the birth of my son. We started out at home but had to transfer to a hospital due to some health complications. This is where I wish I would have used my voice. Things weren't chaotic but my lack of speaking up for myself resulted in a C-Section that could have been avoided, so I implore you to speak up and talk to your spouse/partner on what it looks like to advocate for you. Had we known that we had more control than originally thought, I could have taken charge and did what I knew was comfortable and right in my heart.

With my new found experiences when I was pregnant again (this time with twins) I was determined to have the birth my heart desired. With my foot down and refusing to budge (obviously unless medically necessary) I was able to welcome both babies via VBAC. I hope I'm able to help women avoid the pitfalls that I had experienced my first time around so you can have a great birth from the start. Here are some tips and things to think about:

1. It's Okay to Change Providers

At any point in your pregnancy, even during labor, you can change/ request another provider. If there attitude doesn't line up with your desires please don't suffer, find someone who will try their best to come along side and help you bring your precious little one into this world.

2. You Can Say No

This is a big one during labor. With my first I accepted anything the doctor suggested despite my gut telling me it wasn't necessary. The second time around I said no or changed what was given. For example, they wanted to start me on a full dose of Pitocin to regulate my contractions. I simply asked for a reduced dose, I knew it would help but I only needed a little bit since I progressing quickly and new my body just needed a little boost.

3. Don't Let People's Negativity into Your Life

Although most people mean well, they sometimes don't know how their words can hurt and impact us. Several times I was told I could not naturally birth my twins. Instead of receiving it and giving up hope. I spoke out and stood firm on my desire for the birth I wanted. That meant standing up to friends, family and even medical professionals. They meant well but I wanted to try a VBAC and their pessimism wasn't going to deter me.

4. Let Your Spouse/Partner Advocate For You

They are their to support you during this time. They should also know what you want and be willing to protect your space from outsiders. In the middle of labor sometimes it is difficult to really relay your wishes. Let your support team do that for you.

We all know that things don't always go as planned and sometimes there is no way of preventing a different birth then the one we meticulously put together in our plans. Regardless if everything goes without a hitch or there is intervention we want to feel that whatever happened we made the right decisions when they mattered most. We don't want to look back and have a list of things we wish we could change.