Introduction

This is an introduction piece for other written pieces I will be sharing on this platform.

I have always enjoyed writing, in some way or form throughout my life I found great use for writing, or typing. I have been a fortunate First Nations person, I was able to grow up with the evolution of technology. I have come to realize that there has been immense ignorance shown on my behalf as a First Nations person. I grew up in the era post Residential Schools and pre Bill C-92 of Child and Family Services(1996-2019’), Bill C-92 which was passed February 28th, 2019 allows for First Nations, Inuit, and Metis communities to govern Child and Family Services.

Whacky times, really, only post Child and Family Services have I come to realize how hurtful I have been towards those who were anything but Status Indian, First Nations, Inuit or Metis. Close to the age of 30 years old, I can honestly say I am not anywhere close to where I pictured myself to be ten years ago. That is one hundred percent okay, it was an old version of my way of thinking. My writing skill also is not as sharp as it once was, I was hard on myself. I have been extremely difficult on myself to manage the many trials and tribulations of a career living in Child and Family Services. I decided to self label my life in Child and Family Services as a career, there were many times in my early childhood where I felt like a nanny and a housekeeper. From one of Canada’s comedians Katherine Ryan from Glitter Room on parenting, maybe my foster mother thought something similar; that I was a “ tiny ineffective butler”? HAH!

During this period of my early childhood, I learned a particular dialect and way of thinking. Really far fetched from the dialect you would hear from a First Nation, Inuit or Metis person in the inner city or downtown areas of a capital city in Canada. Yet, you also would not find this dialect in a small town in Canada either, in my early childhood I grew up with a foster family who migrated to Canada from overseas. The Mr. was a Scott and Mrs. was a Brit, I grew up in a very coached colonial home. I can’t relate to the comedian Katherine Ryan, but I do wonder if some of those shared perspectives had any type of impact on the paid job my foster ‘rents held in my life. Sometimes, life seemed surreal, for a period of time I struggled to believe that most Canadians grew up in a very different way than what I was taught.

With the luxury of you and your siblings having separate bedrooms, like what? In the latter years of my life career, I needed to access resources to prevent homelessness again; I then learned what I grew up believing was so distorted. I got into many confusing, miscommunicated altercations while navigating early adulthood whilst “Aging Out” of care. There have been moments where I got into confusing miscommunicated conversations. Now it is not between myself and Canadians, but between myself and people from my home community. I have apologized for more than my fair share to Canadians for my miscommunication, due to my lack of understanding and education about different lifestyles of Canadians. Now I seem to find myself apologizing to strangers from my community over miscommunication, I was taught to speak with a british dialect and pronunciation. I was taught to apologize when you make a mistake is the right thing to do, but that has been easily mistaken for sorts of ignorance and arrogance. So the purpose of writing and sharing this is to help curve my own subtle anxieties around this podcast project.

This platform I want to share my ongoing experiences trying to reconnect to a community who struggle to think outside the box, so to speak. I want to write short stories about my production for a podcast I am working on with the goal of providing a unique perspective from living a double life of a Canadian turned Indian. I want to utilize this platform to share an Indian Status First Nation perspective, a perspective that isn’t of a scholars degree but a perspective from an Indigenous woman who has experienced many forms of communication, miscommunication, learning and growth. Thank you for reading this first entry on Vocal, I cannot wait to share more short stories moving forward.

-RoxieJade