In Loving Memory: Losing A Loved One
By: Nerissha Hunt
Losing a loved one is difficult. People say, “just get over it” or “you need to move on”. That is easy to say when you are not the person dealing with the situation. There is no just get over it or you need to move on because the person that we cherished is gone. We have memories, good or bad but we do not just bounce back like that.
A lot of people process death in different ways. Some people get mad at each other and blame each other. One thing you never do, is tell someone, “I know how you feel”.
Telling someone “I know how you feel” does not help the situation because, you really do not. Even though you may have felt similar emotions when you lost your loved one, that does not mean you know how the person feels. We all have feelings and emotions but there is no one that can compare themselves to some one else by saying I know how you feel.
Everyone processes death differently. Some people are saying that their loved one is not suffering anymore and that they are in a better place. But, for others, it takes a toll on them, and they may wonder why that person is gone. But one thing you cannot do: You cannot tell a person how to feel about losing their loved one. I have heard people tell other people, it is okay, it is going to be alright. It is never alright when you lose a loved one. It does not matter the length of time that a person is gone, it will never be alright. People just show their emotions differently. Memories do not fade, and you cannot try to make a person forget about someone, regardless of the lifestyle the person led.
What gets me is how people talk about people when they pass away. It’s always a “well you know he/she did this back in the day, he/she was like that. I heard this and I heard that. Well guess what? They are gone now so its null and void. It will not bring the person back. The nerve of some people. Who cares about their past life? Some people gossip about the person while at the funeral. Get serious people. Leave the past in the past. People talk about you when you are living but it seems like it is worse when you pass away.
People need to realize that life is short so make the best of it. Do not waste time worrying about and talking about someone who is already gone. Worry about yourself. Make sure self is taken care of. Because you do not have to be a certain age to pass away, and you do not have to be sick.
There are people we think and are told that are in great health. But deep down inside, this person may be battling something within themselves that we may not even know about. Smiling on the outside while suffering inside. Sometimes people pass away at random, and we really get confused. We might have seen that person a day ago, hours ago, maybe even minutes ago so when they are gone, it takes a toll on us, even though some of us say, well they are in a better place, and they are not suffering anymore, and it is alright. It is never alright.
When someone we love passes away, it feels like a dream, but the only thing is, we are awake. It is hard to process at first because some of us saw that person the day before, a few hours ago, or even minutes ago. That is just how quick it can happen. But all we can do is remember the good times we had with the person that we loved. Memories never get old. I conclude my story with this poem.
I conclude my story with this poem:
I will Never Forget You (Loss of a Loved One)
The story of your life is printed on paper like lyrics to a song
You made an impact on the world, your memory lives on
I miss you dearly, I still love you so
I never was prepared to let go
Despite my hurt and things not being the same without you
The man upstairs had a mansion for you
Gone but not forgotten, true statement indeed
It is your story, we followed, you were the lead
About the author
I am 37 years old. What people think inside their minds, I say out loud. I have a unique writing style. I think that when you write a story, it should have a concept behind it.
We all have a creative side, so, show it. Dare to be different.