I Love(d) You.

I miss the fact that he never got to see most of my biggest accomplishments; entering high school, graduating, becoming an adult.. or even becoming a teenager. I hated the fact that everyone got to have a father see them grow up into the young adult they always dreamt their daughter would become, while I never got a chance to have that.

I miss those long walks we used to take on a hot afternoon day to Taco Bell or Hobby Lobby or even to just walk and talk. He really did show me just how much I loved going on long walks with nothing planned besides just finding something "when we get there".

I miss the fact that no matter what, he always knew to protect me and keep me safe when I needed it.

I miss being able to walk out into his office and seeing him typing away at his computer, hard at work. He was always so into the blogs he wrote, and I always admired him for it. Watching how passionate he was when he wrote helped me see just how passionate I was whenever I would write.

I miss being able to dance around the kitchen as we listened to his CDs every time we were at home, just the two of us. I miss seeing the smile he always had on his face whenever he would watch me pretend to to surf every time a Beach Boys song would play.

I miss crawling into your bed at 3am when I couldn't sleep just to hear the sound of your snoring because it always seemed to comfort me.. even for a little bit.

I miss the papers he kept in his truck so that he could write down the titles of all the songs I heard on the radio that I loved so he'll remember them for the next time he made me a CD.

I miss choosing to ride with him whenever the family would all go out so we can jam out to the range of music from the oldies to country together.

I miss the road trips we'd all take; my father pointing out things as we drove past them. I never thought that one day he would no longer be apart of those trips we always seemed to take.

I miss hearing him spew out fact after fact whenever we would go to a memorial or a museum of some sort.

I miss just laying on the couch with him as we'd watch the tv shows or movies that he loved. Whenever I rewatch those same shows and movies, I like the idea of knowing that he is somewhere watching along with me.

I miss the childhood stories he would tell me about him and his friends, or of him and his family. Those same stories are all faded into the back of my mind and I hate that I can barely hear his voice telling me them and I'll never be able to hear them from him ever again.

I miss going to conventions with him or going out with his friends and watching how proud he'd get whenever he was around those who loved the same things he did.

I miss hearing the nicknames he always managed to give to each pet we've ever owned. No matter how many pets we'd have, he always had a new nickname for each one.

I miss seeing him never, ever give up. No matter what. He always had such passion for the things he loved and collected, the things he would write, or the people in his life, and I remember growing up wanting that very passion for myself.

I miss being a daddy's little girl who did everything with him.

I miss being able to see him every day.

I miss being able to hear his voice.

I miss being able to talk to him.. to tell him about how my day had gone.

I miss being able to make new memories with the man who showed me to never give up on those you were passionate in.

Dear Dad,

Although these moments are just a memory now.. They will always be held in a huge portion of my heart. I don't think I'll ever not love and miss you, and I don't think I ever want to see the day where I just stop wishing you were still here.