I had a dream

"Stop counting. It will be not enough" - said my inner voice but I did not listen.

"Don't you understand? " he keeps talking in my head. "Don't you? You will never win such a competition!!!"

"Shut up!"

My voice was strong and I was surprised that I was talking.

"Just shut up!"

"But..." tried to get my attention the Inner voice.

"No! I don't want to listen anymore. I don't want to know what you think about all of this. I have to try. And I believe that this time I will get lucky."

" This has nothing to do with good luck," said my Inner voice.

"Do not worry. I will do it!"

My life was a disaster. Just a few days ago my boyfriend called me to tell me that he

is tired from my exotic self. We were together ten years and just now he noticed that

I am different. That broke my heart. I was thinking that the sky is falling apart and the

stars are laughing at me. The world keeps its rounds and no one cares that I was broken.

Then I had a dream.

" I was walking in a green space between the stars in one Universe I never knew that existed. I saw a pet paw print and I had that feeling I suppose to follow it.

The green space has been changed with violet.

There was a door and I knew I had to cross over. But there was no key, no lock, no nothing.

I sit in front of that door and start crying.

I cry and cry...and cry...and cry...

But nothing changed.

The only thing that happened was that I had red eyes and I wanted to be someone else.

Well. How long do you think I cried?

I have no idea. It was a dream. In dreams everything is surrealistic. I just wanted to disappear.

In one teeny weeny moment I heard a little knock.

I wiped my face with my hand and started to pay attention.

Knock knock

Puk puk

Bam bam

And a famous Frank Sinatra song was all over the place :

" And now the end is near...bla bla...blablabla... I did it myyyy wayyyy"

What the hell is a dead singer doing in my dream?

In front of a locked door?

In a universe full of nonsense?

"I did it my way" - he kept singing.

You did it your way....

He did it his way...

She did it her way...

And so on...

Well, my English is not really so good and I have to take an English class in a dream time?

I read somewhere about schools at night.

"What do you want from me???" - I shouted to the sky but there was no answer.

I started banging the door and my fist went through it.

"Upsie...."

The door disappeared.

I dropped into a Black hole.

I felt like Alice in Wonderland with the small difference there was no rabbit.

It is a bit scary to fly in a dream hole.

And you are able to see many interesting things.

- I see me.... In the ocean. A shark bites my head... Everybody screams... But I

come out of the water with no head and calmly explain that my new head is on the way to grow up...

Just like in Man in Black.

- I see a small room with dead bodies.

A Pretty woman is near me and whispers in my ears :

"Do not worry. I was dead already fifteen times. It hurts just the first three times. But you will succeed from the first try because you are made from very good material."

I want to wake up but the dream catches me with its power...

Just a second... I see something nice.. My children... They are still small... They are running around in a happy place from the past...

Now they grew up...

Now they leave the house and I see them only online in chats when I get lucky...

Happy... Sad.... Sad... Happy... New life... Happy... No chance... Many different chances... I don't know what to choose...

My flight ended and I saw a light.

-Congratulations! It is a baby girl! - said the Doctor and gave my little body to my crying Mama hands.

"What is going on?" - I was puzzled.

How did I reach the moment of my birth?

Am I still in my dream?

Or am I already insane?

The moment of my birth is a happy memory.

Now I get it. I suppose to count happy moments so I can overcome the loss of my

boyfriend.... Don't remind me... I will start crying... No.... I am.... Me...

Ups.... I forget what is all about.

I turn and see my face in a mirror.

Wow... Is that me? Of course he will leave me. I look terrible.

- She is so beautiful! - said my mom and kissed me on my cheek.

For mums all kids are beautiful.

- Oh, my little girl, you will have a happy life. You came to me with an Angel's

blessing and I will love you whatever you do.

Mothers... They can forgive and forgive... They are so strong and are always there

for us. Giving us power and prayers. Never mind if we deserve it or not.

I take a look in the mirror one more time.

This was strange. The Mirror Me showed me her back. What a rude reflection I had..

I scratched the mirror surface with my fingernail.

Mirror Me turned. She looked deep In MY eyes and said:

- Trust yourself. You can do it.

Then she reached out and handed me a small black book.

- Your future is written in the book.

"Whaaat?" - I rubbed my eyes.

- Just take it. - she whispered.

The moment I took it my reflection melted and I stayed in Nowhere with a little black booklet in my hand.

I was scared to open it. What if I....

I didn't even want to think what if...

Slight rustle caught my eye.

In the mirror, like a small bird, flew a white sheet of paper with numbers written on.

-These are your happy moments! - whispered in my ears someone. - Do not forget them and you will win.

"I never win" - I screamed.

The mirror shattered into millions of pieces.

-Sleep, my baby, sleep, - my mother sang, - and dream a happy dream.

I woke up. My pillow was wet with tears. I sat up in the bed and started counting my blessings.

I am loved. Healthy... My children are healthy.. My mom...

"Stop counting" - said my inner voice - " you will never win.."

"Shut up. I already won.

And I showed him a check for 20 thousand dollars I won in a dream.

" This is not possible "-he exclaimed.

" There are no impossible things! "-I replied with a smile.

" But how? "- he asked again.

" I had a dream... "

(In fact, I don't know how it happened, but I didn't want to admit it.)

The voice remained silent.

"Just have a dream, my little baby, and you can do it your way!"