I am Not a Bad Mom

Everyone I look I see what kind of mom I should be. I went from climbing the career ladder to staying at home with my children due to the rising cost of childcare. It just didn't make sense for me to go to work since I would just be working to pay for the daycare, and my fiancé makes enough money to support us. We agreed that I would stay home until both of the kids were old enough to be in school, then I would go back part time, so I can still be there for the kids when they got off the bus and for whatever after-school activity they wanted to be a part of.

I see these social media moms who always seem to have energy, smiles on their faces, and the one I am most jealous of, washed hair. I keep telling myself that social media is fake, and these moms are probably just like this in front of the camera, and as soon as it gets turned off, they go back to being like I was almost all the time. I tell myself that their children are older, and it will be better when my kids get a couple of years older, and I can have more time to myself. It's just hard to convince myself that is what is happening when all I see is moms being who I want to be.

While I love being around my kids, sometimes I just want a break, but social media says I am a bad mom if I am not always there with them. Sometimes I give my kids the tablet or prop them up in front of the TV just so I can have a minute to myself, but social media says I am a bad mom for giving them screen time. Sometimes I don't have the energy to cook, so they end up eating frozen chicken nuggets or just noodles with chicken seasoning on them; social media says I am a bad mom for not giving them a more rounded diet or putting effort into their meals. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to actually clean the house or do the dishes that have been piling up; social media says I am a bad mom for not having a clean house all the time. Sometimes I have issues just getting out of bed in the morning when I know that my energy levels are low and my body won't let me be as active with the kids as I want to be; social media is starting to get into my head and making me believe that I am indeed a bad mom.

I have to keep telling myself that the only bad moms are those who don't care and those who don't try. I have to say to myself that my kids still want to be around me and are happy with me even when I feel like I am failing. I have to keep telling myself that my kids don't care that I haven't been able to shower in three days or that I don't have any makeup on; they care that their little bellies and hearts are full. I have to keep telling myself that they just care that I am there with them and that I am happy.

Ignore the social media moms that seem to have everything together every single day without any help. That is an unrealistic expectation to put on yourself, and it will be disappointing every time. Don't be afraid to ask for help or even to send them with their grandparents for the night. Just because you are at home all day doesn't mean every second of your day needs to be spent polishing the house to perfection. Just because you are home all day doesn't mean you do nothing all day. As long as your child's needs are met, and they feel safe and loved, you are the best parent for them. Stop trying to prove yourself to people who don't matter and probably don't even know who you are. You got this, momma!