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How your parents affect your relationship with money

by Monique Williams 2 years ago in parents
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Financially responsible or financially doomed?

Identifying the root of the problem

Have you ever been bad with money? Set budgets but couldn't stay within the means of them? Been in a ton of debt or lived paycheck to paycheck? Of course you have. I'm sure all of us can relate to debt in some way or another. But not too many of us have taken a look at the relationship our parents had with money. Sometimes the root cause of our bad spending habits starts with our parents. And the number one way to solve a problem and to get to the bottom of it. I once heard a quote that states, "Our issues are in our tissues". That statement really stuck with me. In other words, this quote essentially means that some of our habits and even our problems stem from our DNA. It's a known fact in psychology that we often repeat the same patterns and behaviors our parents had long before we were even thought of. If hereditary health issues affect and are passed down to us as adults, behavioral patterns definitely play a huge role in how we turn out as adults.

I could bet everything in my pocket right now that 99% of the people who struggle with bad spending habits had parents who gambled back in the day, and overall weren't very good with money. Of course not all of us can relate to these type of patterns, or even having parents who can be a little financially irresponsible. But, the ones of us who can have probably gambled with their own stability, can relate to their parents going bankrupt, houses going into foreclosure, or even over paying on a mortgage they may or may not be able to afford. But, like I mentioned before, the first step in solving a problem is identifying it. Every problem has a root and has started somewhere at some point.

The first step in fixing your relationship with money isn't talking to your parents first. It's assessing your own relationship with money, finding the areas in which you're spending too much, and tightening the strings on your purse. Cutting back on needless expenses is a good way to avoid overspending. Setting a reasonable budget around your expenses is a good way to combat spending over your means. Maybe avoiding malls, and some of your personal addictions like coffee could be another way to absolve overspending as well. You can live without that new pair of shoes or that new outfit. Putting together an excel spreadsheet of your expenses could be helpful in figuring out what your expenses are and where they are going. Calculating the most important expenses first is obviously the first step. Include rent, your phone bill, insurance, and any other essential expense in order to figure out what you will have left over.

A lot of this sounds like common sense, but seeing it in writing can really help put things into perspective. Which brings me to my last point of this article, Sitting down and talking to your parents about their relationship with money could also help you pinpoint why your relationship with money has been so tumultus. Asking them about how they got to wherever they are right now financially could also be helpful in determining whether they had a good or a bad relationship with money. Their patterns could be tell tale clues as to why you have some of the same habits you do. Like on the positive side, parents who became business owners at a young age. Parents who set up retirements at their jobs they've kept for years and years. These are the types of patterns that grow financially stable adults. Which is why it is essential to pay attention to your spending patterns, the patterns of your parents, and the way they conduct financial business. These are the habits your future children will develop if you don't learn early on to set a good example and be responsible.

So if you ever find yourself in a bind and you're wondering why, your parents may have a clue.


About the author

Monique Williams

Hello everyone,

I’m Monique talented writer who works in the medical field. I’m also a full time student at SNHU. My stories will be focused towards counseling and healing so thank you for reading and thanks in advanced for the support.

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