How To Resolve A Taxing Family Problem?

As I write the following sorry tale it is coming up to thirteen years since I last had any contact with my two daughters from my first marriage and eight years since I last spoke to my young son from my second marriage. The problem is simple enough, parental alienation. The solution a lot more complex.

I have patiently waited in the vain hope that one day my children would call me, all to no avail. I finally did make contact with my son from my first marriage and we're cool. Of course I have to tread on eggshells. I would dearly love to tell him the awful truth about the past, but he has already indicated he does not want to hear. His perception of his mother is very far from mine. He believes she is the most mentally tough person he has ever met. She is a legend in his words, and he simply will not hear anything different.

As for his two sisters, I get the impression that he is on speaking terms with only one of them. Anyway, I did ask him to pass on my email address and he says he did so. Not a word so far. Then I asked him for their postal addresses so I could send birthday and Christmas cards and he did. He later emailed me back to say that they had said they did not want to give me their addresses. So it sounds like it's a permanent breakdown as far as they are concerned. Of course, it is not lost on me that they are thinking about their future inheritance, especially since my ex is nowadays well braced.

With my two daughter's I did try to explain way back in 2010 after they had very unfairly and unfavourably compared me to their mother. They went ballistic with me "How dare you say those things, and even if they are true, we do not want to know." I let it go for a few years and tried much later on to re-establish contact and they rejected me.

So, where do I go from here? I have written a letter for them, to be posted once I have passed away. But what is the point of that. If they see a letter from me they will simply throw it in the bin unread.

Then I had the idea to write what happened in the third person in the hope that they would read it as a story and maybe only realise that it is about their mum and how awful she was when they got to the end of the story. However, I am not too sure they would see the connection.

I do believe that they do already know some of what happened and do not want to step out of the bubble that they and their mother have created. They quite simply are not prepared to step out of their comfort zone. Their mother is Mother Thereasa of Calcutta and Dad is the Devil Incarnate.

If anything, one of my daughters once asked me in a disapproving tone "Have you still got those tapes?" I neither confirmed nor denied the existence of such tapes. I prefer my ex to think there are as that would serve to keep me safe.

One thing which did occur to me was that if I were my daughter I would be wondering, or asking my mother even, what on earth is it on tape that you are so worried about it almost thirty years later? If at the time all she ever chatted about was the weather and the price of sausages at the supermarket, what is the problem exactly. What is it that is so potentially incriminating that even now you are worried senseless? I of course do know, and it is not good.

One of the things that perplexed me is the law about recording somebody's telephone calls, and I am not saying I did. Or even simple live listening in to calls your spouse made on a secret second phone concealed in another part of the house. I do not know what the legality of those things are. 

And what if you suspected that your life was at risk and the only way to find out was by listening in to telephone calls? What if your suspicions are warranted in the end and an attempt is made on your life? Is that not a mitigating circumstance for breaking the law? Or is one supposed to wait until the murder takes place?

I did do some research to see if there is any statute of limitation in cases of attempted murder, there isn't. So technically I could still report what I have to the police and have her and her cohorts prosecuted about what happened in 1995.

I also thought about maybe speaking to my ex, telling her what evidence I have and allow her to come clean with the children in her own sweet way. In reality she would never agree to that. They are all buried deep in denial and refuse to be budged.

Perhaps somebody here with more knowledge than I can clarify the legality of eavesdropping on your own phone, simply as a point of interest. In the meantime all I can do is accept the lot I have been dealt and suck it up princess. Likewise, if anybody here can suggest a way out of this conundrum with a healthy prospect of re-establishing contact with my three alienated children, please feel free to leave a comment.

I do know lots of people, like my younger brother, will say things like better to move on, you're letting her live rent free in your head. Accept the loss of your children and concentrate on the wonderful life you have now with that lovely wife of yours. And for the time being that is exactly what I am doing. It's a good life, at last, don't let a shitty past spoil it. Let it go. That would be my advice to others and it is to myself. But just out of interest, out of a very deeply felt sense of injustice I wonder if…..

......ha ha ha, the thought crossed my mind that if I let it be known that I had won millions on the lottery and needed some address details to send on a cheque for couple of million apiece my two daughters would soon come running to say hello. However, I wouldn't want it as it would be for all the wrong reasons.