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How to Make a Child Feel Secure

Teach Your Child How to Handle the Challenges of Life

By Oluseyi SogaoluPublished 4 months ago 11 min read

Making a child feel secure is important for their overall well-being and development. Making a child feel secure takes time and patience, but the effort is well worth it. When children feel secure, they are better able to develop healthy relationships, succeed in school, and handle the challenges of life.

Here are some ways to make your child feel secure

Provide love and affection

Show your child that you love and care for them by giving them hugs, kisses, and spending quality time with them.

Providing love and affection to a child is a fundamental aspect of parenting. Love and affection help create a strong emotional bond between a parent and child, which is important for the child's overall well-being and development.

There are many ways to show love and affection to a child, including:

  • Physical affection: Hugs, kisses, and cuddles are simple and effective ways to show love and affection. Physical affection helps children feel safe, secure, and loved.

  • Quality time: Spending quality time with your child, such as reading a book together, playing games, or going for a walk, is a great way to show love and affection. This can help create positive memories and strengthen the bond between parent and child.

  • Verbal affection: Verbal affirmations, such as saying "I love you" or "I'm proud of you", can be powerful in helping a child feel loved and valued.

  • Acts of service: Doing things for your child, such as making their favorite meal or helping with a project, is a tangible way to show love and affection.

  • Understanding and support: Listening to your child and offering understanding and support when they are facing challenges is a powerful way to show love and affection.

It's important to remember that every child is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another. Experiment with different ways to show love and affection to see what works best for your child. Providing love and affection is an ongoing process, and should be a consistent part of your relationship with your child.

Be consistent

Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Establishing a predictable routine, such as regular meal and bedtimes, can help them feel more secure.

Being consistent as a parent means providing a stable, predictable environment for your child. Children feel more secure and confident when they know what to expect, and consistency helps to provide that sense of stability.

Here are some ways to be consistent as a parent:

1. Establish routines: Having a regular routine, such as meal and bedtimes, can provide structure and predictability for children. This can help them feel more secure and in control.

2. Stick to rules and boundaries: Clearly defining rules and boundaries, and consistently enforcing them, helps children understand what is expected of them and what they can expect from you.

3. Follow through on consequences: If you promise a consequence for misbehavior, it's important to follow through. Consistently enforcing consequences helps children understand the importance of following rules and making good choices.

4. Be dependable: Children need to know that they can count on their parents. Make an effort to be there for your child, whether it's for school events, special occasions, or just a regular day.

5. Maintain a positive demeanor: Try to maintain a positive and calm demeanor, even in stressful situations. Children look to their parents for cues on how to react in different situations, and a calm and positive demeanor can help them feel more secure.

Being consistent as a parent takes effort, but it is important for building trust and stability in your relationship with your child. When children feel secure and confident, they are better able to handle the challenges of life and develop healthy relationships.

Listen to them

Let your child know that their thoughts and feelings matter. Take the time to listen to what they have to say and acknowledge their perspective.

"Listen to your child" is an important principle in parenting. It means giving children the time and attention they need to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs. By listening, parents can gain a deeper understanding of their child's perspective and develop a stronger relationship with them.

Listening to your child can have many benefits, including:

1. Building trust and respect: Children are more likely to trust and respect their parents if they feel that their parents listen to them and value their opinions.

2. Improving communication: Listening to your child helps to improve communication between parents and children, making it easier to discuss important issues and resolve conflicts.

3. Encouraging self-esteem: When children feel heard and understood, it can boost their self-esteem and confidence.

4. Promoting problem-solving skills: Listening to your child can help them learn how to problem-solve and make decisions on their own.

It's important to note that listening to your child doesn't mean always agreeing with them or giving in to their every demand. It's about being present, open-minded, and empathetic, and using active listening skills like making eye contact, acknowledging their feelings, and asking clarifying questions. By doing so, parents can create a supportive and nurturing environment for their child to thrive in.

Offer praise and encouragement

Children need to feel valued and appreciated. Praise their efforts and successes, and encourage them to keep trying when they face challenges.

Offering praise and encouragement is a crucial part of positive parenting. It involves recognizing and acknowledging children's efforts, accomplishments, and good behavior, and expressing approval and support. Praise and encouragement can have many benefits for children, including:

1. Boosting self-esteem: When children receive praise and encouragement, they feel valued and appreciated, which can boost their self-esteem and confidence.

2. Encouraging positive behavior: Praising children for their good behavior can reinforce that behavior and encourage them to continue doing it in the future.

3. Building resilience: Children who receive praise and encouragement are more likely to have a growth mindset, where they view challenges as opportunities for growth and improvement.

4. Improving motivation: When children feel appreciated and valued, they are more likely to be motivated to continue their efforts and achieve their goals.

It's important to offer specific, sincere, and meaningful praise and encouragement, rather than vague or generic statements. For example, instead of saying "good job," a parent could say, "I'm so proud of you for working so hard on that project, you did a fantastic job!" By doing so, parents can help their children feel confident, motivated, and successful.

Create a safe physical environment

Ensure that your child's physical environment is safe and secure. This includes making sure their home is free from hazards and that they have a comfortable and stable living situation.

Creating a safe physical environment for children is an important aspect of parenting. A safe physical environment can help children feel secure and protected, and can reduce the risk of accidents and injuries. Here are some steps you can take to create a safe physical environment for your child:

1. Childproof your home: Take steps to prevent accidents by using safety devices such as outlet covers, cabinet locks, and stair gates.

2. Make sure the home is free of hazardous materials: Keep harmful chemicals, such as cleaning products and medications, out of reach of children.

3. Install smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors: Make sure you have working smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors installed on every level of your home.

4. Make sure the home is properly heated: Ensure that your home is properly heated to avoid hypothermia in the winter, and has proper ventilation to avoid overheating in the summer.

5. Supervise playtime: During playtime, make sure you supervise your children to reduce the risk of accidents and injuries.

6. Teach safety rules: Teach your children basic safety rules, such as not talking to strangers and not playing near roads or bodies of water.

7. Maintain a safe outdoor environment: Keep outdoor play areas, such as yards and parks, free of hazards like broken glass, sharp objects, and poisonous plants.

By taking these steps, you can create a safe physical environment for your child that will help keep them healthy, protected, and secure.

Offer comfort and reassurance

When your child is upset, offer comfort and reassurance. Let them know that they are not alone and that you are there to support them.

Offering comfort and reassurance to children is an important part of parenting. Children can often feel scared, anxious, or upset, and it's important for parents to provide support and comfort in these situations. Here are some ways to offer comfort and reassurance to children:

1. Listen and acknowledge their feelings: Listen to your child's concerns and validate their feelings, letting them know that it's okay to feel the way they do.

2. Provide physical comfort: Offer a hug, hold their hand, or sit with them. Physical touch can be very comforting and help to relieve stress and anxiety.

3. Offer words of encouragement: Give your child positive and encouraging words, reminding them of their strengths and abilities.

4. Help them find solutions: If your child is upset or anxious about a particular situation, help them find solutions to the problem, or offer suggestions for coping strategies.

5. Create a calm and supportive environment: Encourage your child to relax and provide a safe, calm, and supportive environment where they can feel comfortable and secure.

6. Stay patient and supportive: Children can take time to process their emotions and it's important to remain patient and supportive, offering comfort and reassurance as needed.

By offering comfort and reassurance, parents can help children feel more secure and confident, and can build a strong and supportive relationship with their child.

Teach coping skills

Help your child develop coping skills to manage stress and handle difficult emotions. This can include techniques like deep breathing and positive self-talk.

Teaching coping skills to children is an important aspect of parenting that can help them manage stress, anxiety, and other difficult emotions. Coping skills are tools and techniques that children can use to deal with difficult situations in a healthy and positive way. Here are some ways to teach coping skills to children:

1. Model healthy coping strategies: Children learn by example, so it's important to model healthy coping strategies yourself.

2. Teach relaxation techniques: Teach children relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, and progressive muscle relaxation to help them manage stress and anxiety.

3. Encourage physical activity: Physical activity can be a great way for children to release pent-up emotions and manage stress. Encourage them to engage in physical activities that they enjoy, such as playing sports or going for walks.

4. Teach problem-solving skills: Teach children how to identify problems and work through them in a step-by-step manner. This can help them develop the skills they need to find solutions to challenges in life.

5. Encourage positive self-talk: Encourage children to use positive self-talk, reminding themselves of their strengths and abilities, and reframing negative thoughts.

6. Encourage them to express their feelings: Encourage children to express their feelings through writing, drawing, or talking with a trusted adult.

By teaching coping skills, parents can help children develop the tools they need to manage stress and difficult emotions, and to lead healthy and fulfilling lives.

Foster a positive self-image

Encourage your child to appreciate and accept themselves for who they are. Help them build a positive self-image by focusing on their strengths and accomplishments.

Fostering a positive self-image in children is an important aspect of parenting. A positive self-image can help children feel confident, resilient, and capable, and can have a lasting impact on their mental health and well-being. Here are some ways to foster a positive self-image in children:

  • Encourage positive self-talk: Encourage children to focus on their strengths and abilities, and to talk to themselves in a positive and supportive way.

  • Praise their efforts and progress: Praise your child for their efforts and progress, rather than just their achievements. This can help them see the value in their efforts and can build their confidence.

  • Teach them to take care of themselves: Teach children to take care of themselves, both physically and emotionally. This can help them feel good about themselves and their abilities.

  • Encourage them to try new things: Encourage children to try new things, even if they're difficult or scary. This can help them build confidence and a positive self-image.

  • Help them build positive relationships: Encourage children to build positive relationships with others, and to surround themselves with people who are supportive and encouraging.

  • Avoid negative comparisons: Avoid comparing your child to others, as this can damage their self-esteem and self-image. Instead, focus on your child's unique qualities and abilities.

By fostering a positive self-image in children, parents can help them develop confidence, resilience, and a healthy sense of self-worth that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Making a child feel secure takes time and patience, but the effort is well worth it. When children feel secure, they are better able to develop healthy relationships, succeed in school, and handle the challenges of life.


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