How to decrease family arguments

We all get angry, even furious, from time to time, particularly about clashes at home. Struggle and anger are natural parts of family life. But how you handle them makes all the difference in having great relationships with loved ones.

Issues like cash and chores may be at the root of family conflicts. But the manner you resolve these issues has a big impact on how your children will react to adversity in the future. Resolve a contention in a calm and respectful fashion, and your kids will likely follow your example. But if you tend to yell, fault, whimper, or disparagement your partner or children, you may see the same conduct in your kids.

Struggle can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash. Sometimes struggle can occur when people misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusion. Issues of conflict that are not settled peacefully can lead to arguments and resentment.

It is normal to differ from each other from time to time. Infrequent conflict is part of family life. However, continuous conflict can be stressful and damaging to relationships. Some people find it difficult to manage their sentiments and become intentionally hurtful, forceful, or even savage.

Conveying in a positive way can help reduce conflict so that family members can reach a peaceful resolution. This typically means that everyone agrees to a compromise or agrees to disagree.

Sometimes, forceful feelings or the power imbalances that can be present in relationships are difficult to resolve and can only be addressed in a counseling situation.

Common causes of family struggle

Families have various sources of conflict in their lives. Sometimes, guardians disagree about how to raise their children, how to partition housework, or how cash should be spent. At different times, warmed arguments break out between children that can involve the whole family.

It’s human instinct to think that you are right in any argument and to want to get your way. But without searching for a solution that makes everyone feel included, you may find that little argument escalates into much bigger ones. Unless you learn how to battle fair and resolve conflicts peacefully, conflicts can tear apart your family.

It is well recognised that some of the stages a family goes through can cause struggle. These may include:

• A kid going to school
• A kid becoming a young person

Each of these stages can make new and different stresses and potential conflicts.

Changes in the family circumstances can also take a toll on the family and contribute to conflict. This may incorporate events such as:

• Division or divorce
• Traveling significant distances to work
• Driving interstate for work.
• Change in monetary circumstances.
• The conclusions, qualities, and requirements of each parent can also change and they may find they are no longer compatible.

No matter how much you look forward to the family being together at occasion times and weekends, it does increase the potential for pressures and arguments. To assist avoid those arguments family counselors have come up with their top tips on reducing family rows.

Attempt to listen

Struggle can escalate when the people involved are too angry to listen to each other. Errors fuel arguments. Ideas include:

• Attempt to stay calm.
• Attempt to put emotions aside.
• Don’t interrupt the other individual while they are speaking.
• Watch that you understand them by asking questions.
• Convey your side of the story clearly and honestly.
• Fight the urge to bring up other unresolved but unrelated issues.
• One of the best things you can do as a parent is to make sure you recognize every demand a child has.

Permit everyone a bit of space

When constrained into doing things they don’t want to, each family member needs the opportunity to opt out – as long as they comprehend there will be an effect on others.

Remember, not all contentions are unavoidable and not all arguments are bad. In fact, it's useful for children to see that disagreements can be resolved and discussed calmly.

Once both parties comprehend the views and feelings of the other, you can work out a solution together. Ideas include:

• Come up with as many potential solutions as you can.
• Make sure everybody clearly understands the chosen solution.
• When the solution is decided on, stick to it.
• Record it down as a ‘contract’, if essential.

Things to remember

Struggle can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash.

Quiet resolution depends on negotiation and respect for the other person’s point of view.

Seek professional advice if you think you need assistance. Contact your neighbourhood Relate Centre to find out what services are available near you.

It’s also important to praise children when they are being useful and cooperative. As they get older, you can make “regular consequences” for negative activities, like a deficiency of privileges, so they can learn proper ways to resolve their conflicts with their friends and siblings.