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How To Cope With Your Wife Having An Affair (How To Get Over Your Wife Having An Affair)

Ok first of all if you're in the unfortunate place of having to say how to cope with your wife having an affair. It's embarrassing, and genuinely makes you sick to your stomach. But if you have any hope of saving your marriage after this crisis, then you're going to have to figure out how to get over your wife having an affair.

By Ashley ScholarPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 5 min read

Like a flower most relationships are difficult at best and need constant emotional attention and nourishment. If either partner or spouse withdraws their attention the relationship can wilt and whither, leading to the other party seeking attention elsewhere, and once someone has been unfaithful and trust is broken it can be extremely hard to put the pieces back together... but it's not impossible.

Here are 5 tips you and your partner or spouse can use to help deal with the pain of an affair and rebuild trust in your relationship.

1. Get Your Bearings

2. Seek Counselling Together

3. Communicate Civilly with Each Other

4. Express Your Emotions

5. Re-Commit to Each Other

Get Your Bearings

When you've been rocked with something as emotionally devastating as an affair the first thing you need to do is to step back, evaluate the situation and get your bearings. Most people are in a state of shock and disbelief after they find out about an affair they experience feelings of anger and self doubt and even depression. If this has happened to you, now is the time to talk to someone, a family member or a friend can be a great source of support at this time.

Seek Counselling Together

After an affair couples may seek to get counselling from a professional. This is a great opportunity for both parties to express their feelings and emotions to a neutral, unbiased third party who can objectively look at the situation and make recommendations. For this step to work, both people must be willing to commit and make the process work.

Communicate Civilly With Each Other

Another step to healing after an affair is civil communication from both couples. Before you bring up the topic of the affair, make sure you lay out ground rules for both of you. You've got questions that need to be answered but you need to go about it in a sensitive way. Your partner or spouse is probably feeling embarrassed and quite guilty at the moment so you need to provide a climate where you can both communicate freely and honestly without hostility.

Express Your Emotions

Don't hold back your emotions when you're trying to move past an affair. There are several things you can do to express your emotions which is a critical part of healing. Cry if you need to. Crying is the body's natural way of dealing with stressful situations and physical pain, so cry a lot. The other thing you might want to do is write down your feelings in a journal. Writing down your thoughts and feelings allows you to get them out and helps to remove the pain associated with the feeling.

Re-Commit To Each Other

Make an effort for both you and your partner or spouse to re-commit to each other. Instead of laying guilt trips on them, start to try and re-establish that connection you lost. Take it slow and start small, your partner doesn't need to buy you extravagant gifts to start the healing process. Try starting with something as simple as a foot rub or a back rub when you're sitting together. Use the power of touch to re-establish both the physical and emotional connection that was lost.

It is possible to survive an affair and rebuild trust and love in a relationship. In fact over 50% of people who have been cheated on and 65% of cheaters want to try and restore their relationship back to the way it was before the affair.

What to Expect From Your Unfaithful Wife to Earn Your Forgiveness

Are you struggling to deal with a cheating wife?

There's no doubt that the pain of infidelity is both devastating and confusing, and many men have absolutely NO idea how to proceed when they find out their wife is cheating.

However, with the rate of infidelity reaching upwards of 50% in the U.S., you're certainly not alone in your search for help regarding your unfaithful wife.

The #1 problem that I know many men struggle with is understanding exactly what it is that they should be wanting their wife to do after the affair.

Are you wondering:

  • What should your wife do to earn back your trust?
  • How can she show you that she really loves you?
  • Which expectations should you expect your wife to meet, OR ELSE?

As you continue reading this article I'm going to be discussing the issues outlined above, doing everything in my power to make it easy for you AND your wife to recover from her infidelity.

It's Her Responsibility to Own Up to Cheating

This may not apply to you, but many men find out about their wife's affair BEFORE they confess to it.

If your wife has yet to actually come clean with you about her unfaithfulness to you and your marriage, then you're still stuck at step 1, and there's a very strong possibility that your marriage will never recover.

I'm sorry to say it, but the truth of the matter is that if your wife is continually deceiving you, then you're on the road to divorce and unhappiness.

Every day that goes by without her confession is another day that you KNOW she's two timing you. That feeling of knowing you're being lied to is very hard to recover from, and if she doesn't confess soon then you may never be able to look at her the same way again.

Your Wife Has to Own Up to the REAL Reason She Cheated

If you've read any of my other articles, then you already know that I'm a HUGE advocate of the cheater being the one to diagnose their affair.

It's been proven time and time again that one of the most therapeutic and beneficial things that anyone who's cheated can do to get back into the marriage is to take some time to carefully consider why she cheated.

You can refer her to this article to get started. Here are some possibilities for why she cheated:

  1. Sex - She has physical needs and another man was there to meet them, plain and simple
  2. Midlife Crisis - She feels as if her days of youth are numbered, so she reacts by bagging typically a younger guy
  3. Emotional Infidelity - She's fallen in love with a co worker or close friend and became physical in a moment of weakness

These are the 3 most common reasons that women cheat, although that's just my experience. If your wife can successfully identify the cause of her affair, then you'll be a lot closer to a healthy marriage, because you'll know what's lacking.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage


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