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How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In? An Easy Guidebook

How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In?

By Abhishek SainiPublished 2 years ago 6 min read
How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In?

How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In? An Easy Guidebook

Now that you have been spending a lot of time together with your partner, the next logical step nudges you to move in together. And while you linger onto that thought, is any other thought taking more of your headspace? Are you wondering how soon is too soon to move in with your partner?

Although there are no set guidelines to answer this question, you should definitely consider some key aspects before you decide to make the big move. Here are some basic tips and directions that happy couples usually contemplate while deciding how soon is too soon to move in.

How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In?

The 1-Year Milestone

While the timeline for how soon is too soon to move in tends to vary for every couple, dating for over a year is usually considered good enough to think about moving in together. Having spent that time with your partner suggests that you both would have moved past the honeymoon phase of the relationship and are now looking at the more realistic aspect of being with each other. The suggested time gap also allows enough time to get to know each other beyond the superficial nature we project to people so as to form an impression.

The Healthy Arguments

No two people are the same, and it would be a very dull life if you claim that you and your partner are absolutely alike. Having said that, it is obvious that you and your partner get into fights some times, if not often. Can you both talk through things calmly when that happens? Do you both eventually reach an acceptable conclusion? If you answered a yes to those, this is a sign that your communication is healthy, and you may be ready to move in together.

However, if you both are not fighting respectfully, or even worse, not gotten into any arguments yet, it is a clear indicator that your relationship is fairly new and fresh, and that you may want to hold off moving in together just as yet. It is definitely time to think how soon is too soon to move in?

The Family Meetings

When considering how soon is too soon to move in, one of the great indicators would be to know and meet your partner’s loved ones. You know things are getting serious when you have your special one introduced to the people closest to you, including your family. Equally important is knowing and having met your special one’s family. It is a good sign to consider moving in when the involvement is reciprocated by both the partners in the relationship.

On the other hand, if you have not met your partner’s family yet, and would consider moving in, now is a good time to have a conversation about meeting with the families. It would always be recommended to getting to know the family before moving in together. If that can be done soon, it is a positive sign indicating the relationship is heading the right way. And in the case either of you would not want to introduce each other to the families just as yet, well…you know the answer then!

Being Your Honest Self

It is absolutely important that you feel totally comfortable around your partner before you even start thinking about how soon is too soon to move in! Every person has certain habits or silly customs or funny routines which they embrace wholeheartedly when alone in the comfort of one’s home. Moving in together means sharing those of your private moments with someone else.

If this idea sounds unsettling or overwhelming to you, it may be a sign that you are just not yet ready to move in together. You need to spend more time with your partner, get to know each other better and reach a certain comfort level before thinking of taking the next big step in the relationship.

The Financial Comfort

When dating someone, we often tend to overlook the rather uncomfortable bits of personality traits as well as personal emotional and physical baggage any individual comes with. While you may ignore those in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, they are absolutely crucial when contemplating how soon is too soon to move in.

Getting a place together not only means just staying together, but also splitting costs for a fair share, which if not done rightly can impact your individual financial standing. While it is important both of you have your own savings, if either of you are not open to discussing personal dues like loans and debts or any other apparent bad spending habits, it may be a bit too soon to take the plunge that may affect your relationship in the long run.

Respecting Boundaries

Social media has taken over our lives, and has become an integral part of our being. A modern-day relationship may have certain unwritten rules that define what is posted publicly to social media platforms and that what remains private between two people.

Knowing what you and your partner prefer, and coming to a point of mutual understanding about these social media rules may involve certain compromises. While being clear about the boundaries and respectful of the choices of each of you is important, if there is a conflict of interest, you may want to think about how soon is too soon to move in and if you are rushing into it.

Being Actually Excited About It

Moving in together is a huge step to take your relationship to the next stage. And while it may sound electrifying, are you really excited about it all? It may come with a pinch of nervousness, but overall, are you looking forward to starting this chapter of your life? If you answer yes to this, it is a sign you are going in the the right direction.

But, if the answer to those questions is no, or your anxiety overwhelms you or outweighs the excitement, it might be necessary to reflect on how soon is to soon to move in. Trust your gut if it nudges at you telling you need more time before taking this leap.

How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In? Signs You Should Wait

Apart from looking at the green flags to move in, there are some red flags that definitely indicate it is too soon to move in together with your partner. If your relationship is quite fresh, and you feel you do not know your partner well just as yet, it is best to hold onto the thought of moving in. Not being able to express yourself and be completely you, or feeling pressured to move in because your partner is insisting is also a big sign you need to wait it out.

It is also important to feel happy within your relationship, and if you are not sure you entirely feel that way, do not take the thought of moving in too seriously. If you hope that moving in together may make things better, it is probably a very distorted thought process and never rely upon such assumptions. Besides, if you are in the current relationship just to cope up with another heartbreak or seeking revenge from your ex, moving in together is not a healthy and mature decision that plays fairly for your current partner.

How Soon Is To Soon To Move In? Things To Discuss Before

Before you move in with your partner, it is important to discuss where the relationship is headed. Moving in together is often a step closer towards marriage, and whether you both are in the same space, needs to be discussed. If the relationship is serious and permanent, you may want to discuss your long term future plans and how you both fit into each other’s plans, including the place you would want to settle in.

Moving in together is a lot like living with roommates, and so splitting up of chores is essential for a happy space. Discuss if there is anything in particular that you hate doing, that may be taken up by your partner, and the other way round.

Understand that moving in together is not as rosy as it sounds – it gets a lot more realistic and practical with time. Communication is key, as well as maintaining and giving each other much needed space within the same house can be crucial to bringing you and your partner closer for a rather wholesome experience.

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    ASWritten by Abhishek Saini

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