How One Can Get Screwed In Divorce

You may have read my one piece about women who get financially screwed in divorce. You may even have read a critique that I got from James Gerboc, which prompted my next article. While both of these articles are important and many people find themselves struggling financially after a divorce, I think that many people are screwed in other ways. 

Here are some of those ways that people can be screwed as they go through a divorce.

You may feel like you are losing your entire life, the one that you happily built for yourself. In fact, starting over can be very overwhelming. Just the thought of it can keep one in a marriage that they shouldn't be in. Nobody wants to start over after they have been married for years. 

Divorce can cause a person to really think about their lives. You may have to move, switch jobs, and even find new friends. This can be more than you want to do. 

That being said, it gets even harder, the longer that you stay. Though leaving seems impossible, the longer that you stay, the harder it will be. It might be better to make a break for it now, or you may realize years later that you should have left long ago! 

Many people worry about their safety when leaving an abusive marriage. They may have heard their spouse tell them that they would go after them if they ever chose to leave. They may worry about their life if they decided to go through with a divorce. These victims may be scared that they would be killed if they ever left their spouse. 

Other times, one may threaten to commit suicide if their spouse ever left them. They stay because they are afraid of the consequences of leaving. Though both of these seem extreme, they do happen. Either way, whether they stay or go, these people live their lives in fear! 

They may also feel ashamed for staying in an abusive marriage for as long as they did. Many people, especially men, are scared to talk about how they were abused. More people are quick to believe that only women can be abused, though men are also likely to be abused by the women that they love. The longer that they stay, the harder it may be to leave! 

Many people lose their families in divorce. When children are involved, it can be hard on a couple to split. One parent may become the primary parent, while the other one gets visitations. 

That being said, they may lose their children for many reasons. It may be hard to keep up with a visitation schedule and their visits may become less and less. Sometimes, if one parent moves away, it can become almost impossible to spend time with the other parent. Then, if the divorce happens when the children are older, they may choose not to spend time with the other parent. Many people stay simply because they want to be in their children's lives.

Divorce can really change your life. You may feel like you are losing your entire life, your home, your livelihood, and even your children. If you were in an abusive relationship, you may even fear for your life (or the life of your spouse). You may be too scared to leave, but once you do, you may wonder why you didn't leave sooner! That being said, you may be ashamed of how long you stayed in a situation that wasn't good for you. Once you are out, you may wonder how you stuck in there that long!

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Previously published at Medium.