How My Wife's Affair Saved My Life

When the end of my marriage came, it felt like the end of the world. However what it was the end of was years of toxic abuse, physical violence, and psychological, mental, and emotional torture. At the time the only good thing in our marriage was my young son. And as much as I loved the boy I could not justify staying in such an abusive relationship out of my love for him.

I have to tell you the first feeling I had the day I finally plucked up the courage to walk out was total and absolute elation. This came after she ordered me out thinking I would never have the guts to do it. Well, I did and I have never, ever once looked back. If anything, I dearly wished I had done it sooner. I was forever giving her second chances to get her act together, which she simply saw as a green light to continue with her increasingly abusive behavior. The last straw was discovering that she was having an affair. That was all I needed to tell me that this was a marriage that simply could not be saved no matter how patient and tolerant I had been.

Once I was out I began to enjoy all manner of benefits I could previously only have dreamt about.

I could sleep peacefully through the night without being maliciously kicked out of bed by a disturbed woman.

I could go and have a coffee with whoever I liked without being accused of having an affair.

I could buy myself a new pair of shoes without needing her permission to spend my own money.

I could stop treading on eggshells waiting for the next brutal physical attack for no good reason.

I could stop being an unpaid slave to her lazy advantage-taking family.

In a word, I was free, free to live my life however I damn well wanted to live it without any interference from some out-of-control histrionic control freak. And this was just the beginning of a whole new exciting life unmolested by somebody who had borderline mental issues.

This is not to say that my freedom came without any cost, far from it. Over the ensuing fifteen years, the woman made it her mission in life to destroy me at every opportunity. I have estimated the financial cost to be in the region of half a million euros without any exaggeration. However, you have to ask yourself what price you are prepared to pay for your own health and well-being. The brutality of some of her physical attacks was such that I am seriously of the opinion that had I stayed with that awful woman I would have been dead a long time ago. I am equally convinced that her affair saved my life since it was the sign that told me to get out and stay out.

These days I live in peace and tranquillity without the slightest hint of any histrionic drama about the minimum domestic transgression such as a misplaced teaspoon. I once ended up in hospital with serious burns to my arm after a pan full of boiling water was thrown over me because I placed a teacup in the wrong place on the kitchen worktop. And to make matters worse, after spending the night in the burns unit of the hospital, I was accused of having spent the night in some non-existent woman's arms. How could I be anything but elated at getting out of that hell hole?

There is a good life to be had if you want it, you just have to have the courage to say "This is not for me." and get out and stay out, as far away as possible. When being with somebody is more about your own physical and mental survival than any misplaced romantic notion of love I don't see that you have any other choice. Go and never, ever look back.

Now I said in the headline about 'How My Wife's Affair Saved My Life.' And I have to say that was no idle claim. Since we got divorced the other man who triggered the initial separation has died at the relatively young age of just 43. One year later a new lover of hers came into the picture and he too passed away at a young age. Now that might just be appalling luck, or just maybe she had something to do with those two deaths, I certainly have my suspicions. Either way, I really do believe that I had a lucky escape, even with the massive financial loss, it was worth it.