Families logo

How Cancer Can Completely Change Your Life!

Moms should never have to die!

By SamPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
Like

This is my beautiful mother! She was an amazing, fun, loving women. Watching her gasp for her last breath was the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. The moment she died I felt it, her presence leaving this world. You feel it in your heart. A part of your heart goes missing and you try so hard to fill it up with something. Let me just say that NOTHING can fill that hole. For me my mother was like my other half. She was a piece of my heart. Once she died it was like someone drilled a big hole in my heart where my mom used to be.

After that you just feel lost. That comfort you felt in your heart is no longer there and it's harder to breathe. You continue to try and fill that hole but nothing helps and you just feel worse. My mom had endometriosis cancer. She was cancer free for seven years and we all were so happy! We all called her crazy when she thought it came back. My mom was kind of a hypochondriac. She always thought she was going to die from a new bump on her arm or a new mole that showed up on her back. But this time she was right! The cancer came back!

We were all very positive about it except for mom. It's like she knew she was going to die and she was scared to death. When they told us she had 2 weeks to live I just didn't believe them. I just kept on believing that a miracle would happen. We watched her become weaker and weaker and her body looked like a brittle stick! She wasn't the mom that I knew! My mom was one of those fun moms! I mean she partied more than me.

Watching her turn into this weak person isn't what you want to see before they die. You just wish you could see the real them before they go. The person that raised you to be who you are now. The person that took care of you. The day before my mom died I gave her a bath and blow dried her hair. She loved it so much! She was so out of it and tired. The day she died I had to be at work.

I'll never forget her being on the couch sleeping because the hospice nurse finally gave her some morphine. I was walking out the door for work, and I thought to myself should I let her sleep or should I give her a kiss and a hug and tell her I love her. I stood there for 3 minutes trying to decide. I decided to let her sleep. I will regret that for the rest of my life!

I received a call later that night after I just got off work that I needed to come home immediately because mom was dying. I drove home so fast! I didn't want to miss the chance to say goodbye! When I finally got there she was so out of it and it was like she was already gone. I told her so loud that I was there and that I loved her sooo much and how much I was going to miss her.

Once they shut off her oxygen tank she was just gasping for air. She was strong and lasted about 2 hours. I always say she fought so hard for my daughter Charlie! My mom wanted to watch her grow up and didn't want Charlie to forget about her! Before my mom died the light next to her bed turned off, and then after she died the light turned off again! It's like God came and took her away.

It's been 6 months since she died and I am still so lost in this world without her. I would do anything to have her back! Especially now with Christmas right around the corner. Christmas was by far my moms favorite holiday. My world is still upside down. Moms should never have to die! We lived inside of them for 9 months, they are apart of us! When they leave us it's like you've lost yourself! I wish death was never apart of life!

grief
Like

About the Creator

Sam

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.