House Spouse...Extinct?

Being a spouse in these current times usually means a few basic things: you both have a job, paying rent, saving for a house, and if you don't already have kids, usually you're trying to. Making ends meet seems to be the popular thing now, and the concept of staying at home, working or otherwise has become a dream to people. But does this mean that the house wife or husband is completely extinct?

Hi, I am a house wife. A military house wife. I don't have kids, but I have plenty of furbabies to keep out of trouble throughout the day, and a work at home job that I'm trying to make work for me and my hubby. I guess you could call this article more one of a review rather than one of pleasure. So let me start off by saying that being a house wife is hard.

Not too great a start is it? But please allow me to digress. There are many reasons being a house wife is hard and there are reasons that being one is good.

Cons:

-Always watching over the animals/kids

-House work is literally never done

-Income is less, at least at first

-It can get lonely

Pros:

-Flexible schedule

-You can choose how to make money (doing something you enjoy)

-Time with animals/kids

-Your home stays harmonious and clean

-You choose your hours working

-You can work naked

So I guess there are more perks to being a house spouse than I thought, but it comes down to so much more than a simple pros and cons list.

I am home alone all day long while my amazing husband goes to work and is very bored....all day. A day in my life looks like this:

Wake up around 6, spend a few moments with my hubby while he makes his lunch and gets ready for the day. I kiss him goodbye, and after he's out the door I sit, contemplate what needs to be done for the day and chug my water and coffee. Glaring at the dishes knowing full well I don't want anything to do with them but will end up doing them anyway, I decide I'll do those later even though I know if I did them right now I would be able to enjoy the cleanliness a little longer. But nope, don't wanna. So off to make the bed, pick up the clothes strewn about the floor, scream at the cats to stop climbing the curtains. Next is emptying all the trash bins, cleaning the litter boxes, sweeping the laundry room for the first out of 3 times that I'll need to that day. Gulp some more water, forget that it's time for breakfast and probably not sit down and realize I'm hungry until around 2pm. Sweep all the dog hair out from under the dining table, mop and still somehow find a ton of dog hair that just magically appeared. Fold the throw blankets, re-fluff the couch cushions, dust EVERYTHING because dust loves this house and I end up needing to dust at least twice everyday, otherwise it looks like we murdered a mob of fairies. Tidy up everything that's not where it belongs at the moment, let the dogs out, then back in because they are harassing the neighbor. Yell at the cat because they are on the table. Cat yells back.

On to the next bit: paint the door I started yesterday but didn't finish, let the dogs out again, mop up the water from their bowl that spilled everywhere after they ran out the door. Dishes. My old foe. Tis time for your demise...again.

Dishes are done! yay! wipe down the counters, think about food but get distracted by the next thing which is hanging up that picture that's taking up space on the table waiting to be hung. Smell cat crap and go cover it for them because they apparently have no idea how. Light a strong candle.

Contemplate what I could write an article on, throw away the idea because I deem it dumb. Move a bunch of stuff by the door out to the garage, look at the garage and sigh because it really needs a good spring cleaning. By this time it's afternoon, and my husband tends to walk right through the front door immediately after I finally sit and breathe. He'll say the house looks good and l'll look around, pleased with my work, forgetting that I'll have to do it all again tomorrow. But I do really enjoy the fact that the love of my life doesn't have to worry about how the house looks, and that he gets to come home to a loved and clean home. I think that really makes it all worth it.

Maybe this all just seemed like a rant, or me complaining, but I guess at this moment I just feel like the only house spouse left on the planet, and people don't seem to understand that my day is not complete laziness and dancing around blasting music. In fact, it's quite the opposite. As someone who has studied the psychological effects of coming home to a unclean and messed up home after a long day of being in a stressful environment, I am determined that for the rest of his life, my husband never has to dread coming home, because it won't be another stressful environment. I won't lie, I would much rather paint all day or just do more that I enjoy, but it's so hard to do that when I look around and think, this mess would stress anyone out. I am happy to say though that I am trying fiercely to work out a time during the day when I sit down for a bit and write something. Even if I end up not publishing it, at least that will get me in the habit and more often than not, more confident in my writing.

To my friends and family who think I do nothing all day, the best way I can put it is that I actually work all day and don't get paid for the labor. I'm willing to sacrifice that for my husbands mental well being and being able to have a more flexible schedule so we can actually spend time together. But at the same time I do want all the happiness in the world for him, which is why I am also working on multiple incomes that continue giving us this freedom. I know perfectly well that I don't have to explain myself and maybe very few if any will read this, but at least my conscience is clear.

To any other house spouses out there, I see you and I get it. By the end of the day we are exhausted, but the love of our families keeps us going. Looking around at the end of day, relaxing with our loved ones and them just being happy rather than frustrated is a big win. Let's be honest, we on occasion have a day when our spouse comes home, looks around at the remaining mess, our pajamas and the ice cream in our hands and all we say is "It's a nope day." I can't wait for my next nope day, but it's spring and I'm on a deep cleaning frenzy!

I can't say thank you enough if you really took the time to read this. I hope for the absolute best day for you and yours and hope that you found this article entertaining. Have a blessed day.

-Shelbie Fae