Hey Parents: Your Child's Stress? Let's Attack It.

Hey parents!

Did I get your attention last time? Well, I initially wanted to put the problem and the solution in one article, but my fiancée told me that the thing would have been 2000 words long (I get rambly).

However, last time we talked about how much stress these kids are under. And I am of the camp of parents being the authority, but kids still having a voice to be heard. In the spirit of kids being heard, here are finally some tips and tricks on how to help your children cope with stress.

Tip #1: Practice calming techniques, (i.e. deep breathing, positive visualization). Merriam-Webster defines stress as “bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existing equilibrium”. And to be honest, as much as we love learning at Science Unlimited, this is a little too academic. We believe stress is, at its core, a loss of perspective. Everything centering around stress centers around perspective and perception.

And if we as adults struggle with good perspective and perception, how much more so will our kids struggle? The entire TikTok School Challenge is a(n unhealthy) stress response. Our kids are struggling with perception of this current society. Here are some tips for regaining perspective and perception:

1. Deep breathing. There are many very specific breathing techniques to ease stress. However, the simplest of these is breathing two seconds in through the nose and four seconds out through the mouth. Even this simple technique brings physical perspective to breathing and slows the heart rate.
2. Positive visualization. Remember, as perspective and perception are lost, stress increases. Teaching your child to focus on positive ideations that bring them joy will ground them and allow them to calm themselves.
3. Meditation. This serves as more of a preventative measure, but whether it is to prevent or to reduce, your child can simply find a space to clear their thoughts for 10-15 minutes, and return to the situation with a new perspective.

Result: Your child's "anti-stress toolbox" grows. They may even bring some ideas to you independently. We also encourage you to occasionally take time out to join in with your child as they regain perspective and perception. We want every child to be able to fight off stress.

Tip #2: Make sleep a priority. If it’s not their favorite YouTube creator, it’s Snapchat, and if it’s not Snapchat, it’s TikTok. And don't get us started on Minecraft, Roblox, and Smash Bros (we like some of these too). Whether it is these specific applications or not, it seems as if most kids will fight routine bedtimes. They often insist they can handle being up late. However, they are often left poorly rested and sometimes even disoriented. This is a breeding ground for stress, as poor rest makes children and adults more susceptible to stress. This is how we fight that:

1. Regular bedtimes, even on the weekends, especially for younger children who require more sleep, and also right before major tests at school. Make weekend bedtime more flexible, but still keep the structure of sleep and sleep-mediated restoration the priority.
2. Within 45 minutes of that bedtime, all devices should go dark. Children should be focused on going to sleep, even ahead of their bedtimes.
3. If there must be a device running, have it playing calming sounds for a child to go to sleep more smoothly. There are even white noise machines for $20 at Amazon that may help.
4. If your child is struggling with sleep even after these methods, consider consulting your child’s healthcare provider.

Result: Well-rested children are better equipped to handle their day. They are less susceptible to stress, and have the energy and vigor to not only perform well in school, but to perform well in life. Structured sleep leads to harmony and balance, as perspective and perception are clearer when everyone is well-rested, especially kids.

Tip #3: Simplify your routine. The rat race beckons, right? Well, we don’t have to answer that call all the time. Actually, setting the precedent that a child has to be this very well-integrated person that completes so many tasks they have no downtime is actually going to breed exponential stress. So, how do we simplify routines? Here’s how:

1. Lay out a planner on a dry erase calendar, week-to-week. Only put the most critical tasks on it.
2. Encourage your child to plan out their week as well. This will be a tool to carry them throughout their lives.
3. As fitting, as the calendar gets too cluttered, delay tasks or eliminate them altogether. Prioritize tasks, and teach your child to do the same for their schedules.

Result: While there are no “unimportant” tasks, treating every task with the same importance and urgency is draining. And we have to understand how we can keep our routines as simple as possible. We have to be able to understand how schedules work, and how overloading schedules can disrupt our harmony. Even with tasks we must do, we must maintain the appropriate perspective and perception of these tasks to be able to take care of them in an effective way.

Tip #4: Make time for playtime/downtime. There’s that one anecdote that begins “all work and no play...”. Well, if we are going to make sure we don’t do too many tasks and overload your child’s schedule, then we have to do the same to make sure we don’t have too little playtime/downtime. This is what this looks like:

1. Sometimes apps and games are okay. Allow your child to play, sometimes suddenly as breaks to their routine. Feel free to join in!
2. Take time for breaks that also involve outdoor activity and/or exercise. Not everything has to be digital.
3. Encourage family movie/board game/discussion nights.
4. Be sure to check-in and make sure that your child feels that balance between work and recreation.

Result: Everybody needs time off, right? Well, so does your child. As “easy” as homework may seem, always working has the same stressful effects on children as it does adults. And providing this balance gives your child perspective in that they understand they have to work hard, but taking breaks is necessary as well.

Tip #5: Incorporate stress busting foods into your child’s diet (i.e. fresh blueberries, milk, dark chocolate).

This one can be tough, because it has been only recently that schools have begun to make an effort to provide good options at lunch, and many schools are facing implementation challenges to healthy lunches. Still, a lot of traditional snack/fast foods have chemicals in them that hamper your child’s body chemistry, which in of itself can lead to stress. However, we can still ensure a healthy, stress-busting diet. Here is how we promote that:

1. Keep meals balanced, providing healthy energy (almonds are another great “superfood”).
2. On non-school days, promote the eating of five small-sized meals a day to keep your child’s metabolism roaring like a charged engine.
3. Only allow your child traditional snack foods sparingly.
4. As appropriate, promote the use of appropriate vitamin and mineral supplements. Consult with your child’s healthcare provider.

Result: We are what we eat, correct? Well, if your child is eating well-balanced, energizing meals, your child will likely also be very well-balanced and energized. And with that physical harmony, it will be easier for your child to have the perspective and perception necessary to stave off stress.

Stress is a lot to deal with, for children and adults. Like, it’s rough out here! We hope these tips help both you and your child do well in your daily habits, and to keep perspective and perception. For more tips on stress, please contact us at [email protected], or your healthcare provider. Thank you, and we will return soon!

[Disclaimer: (1) This story entry was initially written by me for Science Unlimited, LLC, a partner of the 360 Institute for Higher Learning, and I have worked alongside them for five years. (2) I do not claim to be a mental health expert, and none of the content of this article should be considered canonical medical advice. For the best advice, please contact your preferred healthcare provider.]