Having a baby in 2020
The craziness, love and loneliness
As 2020 ended I thought to myself, “what a bizarre year”. What a bizarre year to be pregnant and have a baby in the same year. 2020 was rough. Rough for everyone. Some a little more rough than others. For me it was extremely rough. I got pregnant and had a baby writhing the same year. 2020. My husband and I had been trying since October, 2019, so we didn’t intend to get pregnant a month before the big shut down. We had been trying 5 months prior, but I guess God has a funny way of making things work out.
Before we had gotten pregnant I prayed that I could stay home with my husband and that we could bond with each other as much as possible before our baby arrived and that we could bond with her together when she did arrive. Be careful what you pray/wish for. Don’t get me wrong it’s so great to have my husband bond with her but it’s draining sometimes seeing the same two people everyday. And here comes the unwanted mom guilt. I adore my baby. She’s our rainbow baby. But man it’s hard. Even more so now! I can’t go to the places I want to go to so I can get some peace and quiet. I can’t go sit inside of a coffee shop or sit inside a restaurant while hanging out with my friends and family.
My husband couldn’t even come with me to my 20 week ultrasound. I had to give birth with a mask on, I was already in so much pain and it was harder to breathe and focus with it on. I had to get a COVID test during a contraction. Despite all of that hot mess, I would do it again if it meant having her just the way she is.
God gave me exactly what I prayed for. Intense circumstances but I got to stay home safely while pregnant and I get to be a stay at home mom. Although it wasn’t really my choice to stay home while pregnant, my husband and I were both scared that I would get COVID, I couldn’t make the decision because I was all over the place mentally, so he decided for me. It’s bad enough being isolated from everyone and everything, but it’s worse when you’re not able to choose to stay home. I feel so fortunate and grateful that I am able to be a stay at home mom right now.
It is hard though. And I feel fine saying that it’s hard without feeling the mom guilt. Being a mom/dad is hard. And then 2020 came along and made it even harder. But we will get through it. We are parents. We find a way. And there is always a way. Even when we feel like there’s not.
To the momma who just had a baby, you’re a badass! You had a BABY!! In the middle of a pandemic! You were pregnant during a pandemic and managed to grow a baby. You decided that 2020 was not gonna get in your way of having a family. You are a beasty!!
You are also not alone. I felt so alone during my first and third trimester. I missed my family and friends. I missed my body. I missed WINE!!!
And here I am, writing this while I take a bath and have a delicious glass of wine while daddy takes care of the baby. Trust me mommas, you deserve it 😉
About the Creator
Yvonne Meeuse
new quarantine mommy to a beautiful baby girl! I’m a stay at home mom, writing about my experiences in hopes to help others going through similar events I’m going through or have been in.
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