Has there ever been a right time to start a family?

Is there a right time to start a family? I’ve heard many opinions over the years about this and it wasn’t until around the beginning of 2019 that this question really came to mind and I found out I was expecting in 2020!

If you asked me if I wanted to have children, for most of my life the answer was NO. Why no you ask? Well, to be honest I’m not entirely sure but I can sure guess some reasons. I was young, free and had no major responsibilities. Why would I want to have a child? It was the last thing on my mind. I had a life full of adventure and excitement so why would I throw that all away for a responsibility for a lifetime? To my mothers dismay I kept saying no to her getting any grandchildren from me FOR YEARS….until I met Ally.

When I met Ally things changed, things got serious. We got together, got a flat together, everything was perfect…well…obviously I aint gunna sugar coat it we had our ups and downs like every other couple does but this relationship was different from any other I’d had in my adult life. Something clicked, it felt right.

I don’t think we ever talked about kids, maybe in a joking way. What would they look like hypothetically? My bushy hair, his nose? My awesome tan, his funny big toe? Those kinds of questions, the usual ones most people have. But cutting the story short and skipping past our super private moments ( ooo being all illusive now) we decided we’d try. I won’t speak for him cause this is all about me Haha but I felt I was FINALLY in a secure relationship. I found someone I loved and trusted, he was and is my best friend! I also thought ” I’m 28, yes I’m getting older but still not feeling too much pressure to have babies now but….”. Something changed in me instantly and I think Ally as well. What was it you ask?

I met Ally’s Neice. The first grandchild in both of our families. She was the cutest, little bundle of joy. After that meeting, something changed in me. You know the feeling? Where you start seeing babies everywhere, you pay more attention to friends and family posts about new babies arriving into this world. You may even find yourself looking at youtube videos at 3am about babies. Babies, babies, babies! What the heck was going on! I’d lost the plot.

So, after all my babbling, I finally get to the point of this blog. I asked myself “Is this a good time to start a family?” Secure relationship – CHECK. In love – CHECK Both want a baby – CHECK….. but…there’s always a BUT they say and I had many.

But I – wasn’t in my dream job

But I – hadn’t planned all my finances yet

But I – couldn’t drive yet ( still can’t due to well knowing I’d be growing to a round whale when I was learning….)

But – we don’t own a house yet!

But – I don’t know anything about babies!!! ( MAJOR STRESSED BUT )

But – I’m not married yet!

Oh Gosh so many more…BUT haha I decided that there was never really going to be a perfect time to have a baby for me. I’d recently been accepted to start a Dental Nursing course so what was I going to do. Set my career first? I know many people do. They want that financial security or they want their perfect job first or know they’re finally going to get that promotion they’ve been working so hard for! It makes sense to want all that, I don’t think it’s anyone’s right to tell you otherwise.

However, I’ve never been a person like that. Family means everything to me. I am close to my parents. It’s always been us 3. So, I finally decided in my heart and mind this is what I wanted. I wanted it for us.

I decided I didn’t care for the “perfect” time in my life to have a baby. I was so happy in my life at the time that a baby would only bring me more joy. And she has. Lily came into this world on the 29th of January 2020. My life isn’t perfect, it’s not where I want everything to be but I’ve got her and Ally. I’d make the same decision to start a family then, over and over and over again. The joy of watching my belly grow, feeling those first kicks, her hiccupping away inside me, kicking me in the ribs ( ouch btw right!? ) and finally holding her in my arms on the day she was born wipes all those BUTs away. (My mum finally got her wish come true! )

Life’s a journey of many winding and bumpy roads. It was never going to be smooth sailing and now being a new Mum is a whole other story for which I will blog about here! That’s why I wanted to start this blog. To share my experiences with others, the highs, the lows, my thoughts and feelings about everything leading me up to now and discussing what the future may hold! Maybe you can relate?