Happy ValenToddler Day
A Twenty-Three-Month-Old's Take on Being Mama's Valentine
Anyone who heard you ask me to be your Valentine knew I wasn’t actually being given a choice. It’s okay, though. I’m the best little man in your life! Your desire to show me commercial affection on the fourteenth of February is entirely understandable.
While writing this article, Valentine’s Day is two days away. I don’t want to hear it if Vocal doesn’t post this until all the conversation hearts are on sale at Walmart. I tried writing this article sooner. Instead of scolding me for opening the laptop and reconfiguring power settings while you callously abandoned me so you could pee alone, you should have presented me with a blank Word document.
See what happens when you put your bladder before my blog posts?
So, the big red day is two days away. Two is the pivotal word here. I’ll be two on March 3rd. This means I’m changing, and I’d like to enlighten you regarding my Valentine’s Day affections.
Consider yourself forewarned.
Distributing the Love
Thank you for my new Valentine’s Day getup. It’s stretchy and comfortable in the style you know I appreciate. I love it so much that I fully intend to distribute tonight’s meal evenly between the shirt and pants.
Don’t get upset; you’re always telling me to share. I suppose you’re concerned about pizza sauce stains on my new thematic ensemble before you can show me off at daycare on Wednesday. In that case, I present you with two options you should have considered.
- You should have called the restaurant a month ago to make a reservation before they were booked.
- You should have bought a backup outfit.
Sharing is caring, Mama! I care that my clothes might feel excluded. See? You’re doing great!
Hallmark Who?
A lollypop on Valentine’s Day means as much to me as a lollypop on any other day. I won’t love you more or less if you don’t buy me heart-shaped treats unless I demand them in the store with you.
If you do buy me thematic sweets that I haven’t preapproved, we both know it’s more about the Medium photo shoot than because I care who Hallmark is.
I’m twenty-three months old. Cut a piece of parchment paper into a heart the size of my head, and let me celebrate Valentine’s Day by crafting homemade confetti. I’ll be diligent in my big-boy responsibility of decorating the entire house. If you hand over the crayons, I’ll even draw you a personal mural on the hallway walls.
Go Buy a Parrot
“Gabriel! Say, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day,’” you coax as I sit cross-legged on our bed with your purloined phone in my hands.
I know you can’t see me, but the look I’m giving you is an unblinking stare halfway between patient indulgence and amused disbelief. You know I’ll never learn that phrase before Wednesday.
My inability to roleplay a parrot for you and your online friends has nothing to do with my intellect. I simply don’t care; trust me, neither do most of your followers.
I’m doing you a favor. Most states adhere to stringent child performer laws. You’re already so stressed! Do you really want to be sued for overstepping contractual obligations?
Listen, since you’re not actually pressing me too hard, I’ll make you a deal. Keep tossing the words my way, and I may reconsider my silence just in time for Halloween. “Trick or treat” is overused anyway.
Why Does Love Need a Holiday?
I might be joining the influx of writers blogging about Valentine’s Day, but that doesn’t mean I understand. I’ve only just learned what a heart looks like, after all.
I hug you every day because I love hugs. I give kisses when I want because I know they have something to do with affection. I lie pressed against you in bed because you’re my safe place.
I love you.
You don’t hit back when I express frustration by whapping you. You hold me close when I cry, babbling comforting words I don’t really understand. You set boundaries I both hate and rely on to feel secure.
You love me.
I throw toys, kick you in the boobies during diaper changes, fling unwanted food, and behave beautifully for people I don’t live with.
This is love.
You yell at me sometimes and make me cry. Then you apologize, hold me, and speak more softly next time. I know you lose sleep because you think you’ll break me if you do it wrong.
This is neurotic.
Also…
This is love.
Thematic outfits, Mama/toddler outings, heart-shaped lollies, and phrases with too many syllables don’t matter. I don’t need a big red holiday to remind me that I love you.
Happy Love Day, Mama. It’ll be just like every other.
Calling All ValenToddlers
Hey, you, crouched in the corner with the phone or tablet your grownup hasn’t realized is no longer theirs!
Do you have a new, adorable outfit? Did you go somewhere special with your ValenParent? Do you or your grownups have an opinion on the big red heart day?
One of my new favorite pastimes is looking at pictures! Will you show me some? I know I’m not the only cutie contributing to making Frazzled awesome.
Remember to throw my Mama a bone if you comment with pictures! She’s blind, and I don’t have the vocabulary to describe how toddlerific my peers look!
Happy ValenToddler Day, everyone!
About the Creator
Keep reading
More stories from Sirena Carroll - The Blind Single Mom and writers in Families and other communities.
"Innocence Broken: The Tragic Reality of Abused Children in Minnesota's Broken Child Welfare System"
As a society, we often like to think of ourselves as protectors and advocates for the most vulnerable among us – our children. However, the harsh reality is that even in a developed country like the United States, children are not always safe from abuse and neglect. Nowhere is this more evident than in the Minnesota child welfare system, where numerous instances of abuse and mistreatment have been reported, raising questions about the effectiveness and ethics of the system. One of the most alarming issues within the Minnesota child welfare system is the high rates of re-abuse. According to a report by the Star Tribune, nearly a quarter of the children who are placed in foster homes by the state are abused or neglected again within five years. This is a devastating statistic, as these children are already victims of abuse and neglect, and it is the responsibility of the child welfare system to ensure their safety and well-being. However, it seems that this system is failing in its duty, leaving these vulnerable children at risk of further trauma. Moreover, there have been several cases of physical and sexual abuse in foster homes, further highlighting the flaws in the child welfare system. In one shocking case, a 10-year-old girl was sexually abused by her foster father, who had been convicted of child pornography before being approved as a foster parent. This raises serious questions about the vetting process for foster parents and the lack of oversight in the system. How is it possible that a convicted abuser was allowed to be a foster parent and harm a child in the state's care? Another concerning issue is the overrepresentation of children of color in the child welfare system. According to data from the Minnesota Department of Human Services, African American children make up only 5% of the state's child population, yet they account for 20% of children in out-of-home care. This disproportionate representation raises questions about racial bias in the system and whether children of color are being unfairly targeted and removed from their families. Furthermore, the Minnesota child welfare system has been criticized for its high caseloads and inadequate resources. Social workers in the state are often overwhelmed with heavy caseloads, which can result in delayed response times and inadequate assessments of vulnerable children's situations. This lack of resources and support not only puts children at risk of re-abuse, but it also puts a strain on the already overburdened social workers, leading to burnout and high turnover rates. The consequences of these issues within the Minnesota child welfare system are grave. Not only are children being re-victimized, but their chance of living a stable and fulfilling life is also significantly impacted. Studies have shown that children who experience abuse and neglect are more likely to struggle with mental health issues, educational difficulties, and even criminal behavior in the future. By failing to adequately protect these children and provide them with the support they need, the child welfare system is setting them up for a lifetime of challenges. In conclusion, the abuse of children in the Minnesota child welfare system is a serious and ongoing issue that requires immediate attention. The system's flaws, including high rates of re-abuse, inadequate resources, and bias, have left many vulnerable children at risk and failed in its fundamental duty to protect them. It is the responsibility of the state to address these issues and make significant changes to prevent further harm to its children. Every child deserves to be safe, loved, and cared for, and it is time for the Minnesota child welfare system to live up to that duty. Start writing...
By Katie Stangel3 days ago in Families
Comments (2)
Awww, Gabriel is sooo adorable! Happy Valentines day, Little Man! 🥰🥰🥰 I loved the heart shaped pizza and the artwork that he did!
He so cute, and the bit about child performer laws and getting sued made me chuckle!