Got it From My Momma

Growing up, I had far from an ideal life. My parents divorced and I went through one heartache after another, but my mom was always my rock and wanted to fix my heart at every turn. I never really appreciated my mom for all she had done while I was under the same roof as her, but when I moved out on my own for the 1st (2nd, 3rd, and 4th) time, she was always there to help with whatever I needed, from buying me some necessities like toilet paper or helping me move all of my stuff from one place to the next. I learned what being a parent was and how much my mom was willing to and had sacrificed for me my whole life. When I found out I was pregnant at 22 while not in a relationship, but from what should have stayed as just a hook up, she wasn't too excited because she didn't want me to have to struggle like she had. What she didn't realize is that she had prepared me better for being a mom than wither of us knew.

I had known for a long time that I wanted to be a mom because I loved kids and I always said I wanted a lot of them, but the older I got, the more that changed. Finding out I was pregnant was one of the best days of my life because I was finally going to be a mom and it definitely changed my life for the better. The other half of the DNA though, I could say was significantly less enthused, though he put on a good act in the beginning. I gave him every chance to leave from the beginning but he swore up and down that he wanted to be a dad but he couldn't even take care of a dog while I was at work trying to support us and our miracle and he was unemployed. I chose to rehome my dog because I wanted our little family to work out so badly but we ended up breaking up when I was about 7 months along because I had found out he had been cheating on me. My story here was starting to sound a lot like my mom's now because that is why her and my dad got divorced; he had cheated on her.

When my daughter was born, the 2 people in the room with me was my sister who was also pregnant, just due a few months later, and my mom; by then she was excited to meet her grandbaby. The other half of the DNA was in California and hadn't even tried to contact me about if the baby had been born and she was 4 months old by the time he came back. I was the first one to hold my beautiful baby girl, after the doctor of course, and was super protective and didn't want anyone else in the world to hold her. The nurse wanted to take her to get her cleaned up, and this was the first time I had given approval for someone to take her from my arms, that person being my mom, to hand her to the nurse. My momma was the 2nd person to hole my baby, and she cried while she looked at her. My mom was in full grandma mode, and has been ever since. Though I was prepared to be a single mom because she showed me how, I definitely couldn't have made it this far without her help and support.

I strive to be half the parent she is, and if I can achieve that, I know my daughter will turn out well. I also am trying to give my daughter every opportunity possible to accel and succeed in life just as my mom tried to do with me. Though, as an adult, I have a little more advantage to give my daughter these opportunities because there are new schools and new programs out that weren't around when I was a kid, I know my mom did her best. I had everything I needed and everything I could have wanted, though some frivolous things like a few toys here and there were out of the question, there was nothing else I could have asked for that she didn't already give me; well, except maybe a pony, but we didn't live in an area that we could have a pony.

My mom taught me what it takes to be a strong, independent woman and how to be the best mom I can be. Sometimes I feel like I am failing at being a mom, but hearing my daughter tell me day in and day out how much she loves me and just wanting to be by my side all the time tells me otherwise. Thank you momma, for always being there for me and teaching me how to be the woman I strive to be and will one day achieve!