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Good Moms Can Have Bad Days

by Aria White 11 months ago in parents

You're a good mom. No matter what.

Motherhood is hard. Really, really, really hard. It doesn't matter if you have a partner to help. It doesn't matter if you have a housekeeper, a nanny, and a personal chef. Even with an entire village, being a mom is the most difficult calling on the planet.

And for some reason, mothers are expected to love every millisecond of motherhood. Mama, I'm here to tell you that it's okay to have bad days. It's okay to want to lock yourself in the bathroom. It's okay to miss your life before becoming a mom. People forget that moms are human. We have feelings and emotions and jobs and responsibilities just like everyone else. But for some reason, if we aren't on cloud nine about our children 24/7, there is this perception that we don't really love them. That is nonsense.

There are days when our kids get sick and we are solely responsible for nursing them back to health. There are days when we get sick and nobody is there to nurse us back to health. There are days when we trip over legos or our toddler poops his pants or we're running late because someone can't find their other shoe. Some days, life is a real shit show. And that's fine.

We're allowed to feel like we want a time out. We're allowed to take a time out. We're allowed to feel overwhelmed. I've had many days where I have been in tears because I've had absolutely no 'me' time and I've been physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

There have been days when I've yelled. When I've lost my patience. When I've wanted to down an entire bottle of wine and start shopping for "child muzzles" on Amazon. But does this mean I'm not a good mom? Absolutely not.

By NATHAN MULLET on Unsplash

Being a good mom doesn't mean being a perfect mom. It means doing your very best every day and knowing that sometimes, your very best is just making it through the day. Don't let the weight of mom shame make you feel guilty when you have an "off" day. You're allowed to have wants, needs, and passions of your own. The best moms make sure they have a full cup before trying to pour love into their children's.

If your children are fed, clothed, healthy, safe, and loved, you're doing a great job. Even if you feed them frozen pizza. Even if their clothes are too small because you haven't had time to shop for new ones. Even if you go into "mean mom" mode or you're having one of those days where Murphy and his stupid law makes you want to poke your eyeballs out. If your children are breathing and smiling, stop beating yourself up.

At the end of the day, your children just want you. Even if that day's version of you is irritable, cranky, tired, frazzled, moody, smelly, impatient, and hangry. Your children won't remember the bad days.

They will remember the mom who made sure they had food to eat. Who made sure they wore their coats out in the snow. Who helped them with their homework. Who read them bedtime stories and kissed their boo-boos and taught them how to bake cookies. Your kids will remember how you made them feel more than how you feel about yourself. In their innocent eyes, you're the best thing since sliced bread.

Good moms can have bad days. And a good mom wants the best for her kids. She also knows that the best thing she can do for her kids is to just be herself.

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Aria White

Aria White (pen name) has contributed to multiple online media outlets. Her first self-help book/memoir, "Dear Me, I've Missed You," is now available in both paperback and e-book formats, wherever you buy books.

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