Giving Back and Moving Forward: Sasha’s Surrogacy Journey from Infertility to Surrogate

As Told by Sasha Poshusta: ConceiveAbilities Surrogate

Sasha Poshusta, a dedicated mother and passionate Familytale Vlogs YouTube vlogger from Minnesota, opens up about her journey to becoming a surrogate.

After overcoming her own battle with infertility, Sasha and her husband Max decided to give back to the community that supported them through their struggles.

Before meeting with her potential match, Sasha took time to reflect on becoming a surrogate. In a heartfelt conversation on our podcast, “All Things Conceivable: A Surrogacy Podcast with Nazca Fontes,” Sasha shares her hopes for forming meaningful connections with intended parents, involving her vlog family in this journey, and the profound impact this decision has had on her life.

Sasha’s Journey from Infertility to Surrogacy

NF: Tell us a bit about yourself and your life.

SP: My name is Sasha. I have two children, Louis and Lucy, who are four and two. I’ve been with my husband, Max, for over 10 years now; we actually met on match.com. I am a working mom and I get to work both from home and in the office. We have been enjoying most of our summer at our new cabin on the lake. In the winter, we like to escape to the warmth in Florida. Regardless of the cold, we love our life here in Minnesota.

Sharing Her Infertility Journey Through Familytale Vlogs

NF: Why did you decide to start sharing videos of your life online?

SP: When we were starting out we wanted to document our journey with infertility. I never imagined it would take off like this. We grew a following with the topics that we shared and by being so open with our life. There is truly nothing that is off the table. The intention is to build our vlog family of people who can relate to some of the struggles that we’ve gone through.

We have shared about our miscarriages and even postpartum depression. There are so many people who can relate to those experiences. Not only do I feel like it has helped others to hear about but it’s also helped me to talk about.

I have received so many messages from other women saying, “Thank you so much for sharing your journey because it is really lonesome.” You feel like you’re going through it alone. It’s important having someone else out there to relate to.

NF: Can you speak more about what it meant to you and Max to be able to have your children after your own experiences with infertility?

SP: It felt unreal. It is crazy; honestly, it’s indescribable. It’s such an amazing feeling to finally get to the other side of infertility and hold the baby that you have wanted for so long. It’s honestly magical. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s amazing.

How Infertility Shaped Sasha’s Decision to Become a Surrogate

NF: How has your own struggle with infertility impacted your decision to help support others with surrogacy?

SP: Many of our followers are unable to get pregnant or conceive. Once we felt that our family was complete, we wanted to give back to the community who supported us. Max and I agreed on this journey so eagerly; there was no hesitation at all on either of our sides.

There are things to consider that could potentially have held us back, but the pros always outweigh the cons. The fact that some surrogates go on to have a second, third, or even a fourth journey really says a lot about how magical it is.

Talking to Her Children About Becoming a Surrogate

NF: How have you talked to your children about becoming a surrogate?

SP: My son Louis is understanding the concept as surprising as it is. One day I asked him “What would you think if mommy grew a baby for another family?” Initially he was curious to learn why. I said “Some people can’t carry babies. But mommy’s body can help them.” He took a minute to think about it. As we have recently been teaching him stranger danger, naturally his response was “As long as they’re not strangers.”

It really struck me when Louis responded in that way and it has become super important in this journey for me. I want to be able to form a strong relationship with the intended parents that we’re matched with. I don’t want to be strangers. I want to communicate throughout this entire process and potentially become friends after.

Another thing he asked was if we could see the baby after. That’s something else that I intend to bring up to the intended parents. I would like to have that opportunity for our kids to meet, to close that chapter of our lives, and to get some closure for everyone involved in our family.

Getting Support From Family and Friends

NF: What was the response from your family when you decided on surrogacy?

SP: Everyone was a hundred percent on board. We were able to talk through our own personal struggles and how much this would have helped us if we couldn’t conceive on our own. We explained how my body is fully capable of being able to carry another pregnancy. I think everyone in our close circle understands and definitely gives us support. It is really nice to have that as well.

Why Sasha Chose to Become a Surrogate

NF: What were the deciding factors for you to choose to embark on this surrogacy journey?

SP: The idea of overcoming infertility and being able to help someone create their family were the two main motivating factors. I also love being pregnant. I did not have any difficulties throughout my pregnancies. For some reason, I also loved labor and delivery. Most importantly, I’ve heard that there is no other feeling like seeing the intended parents’ faces in the delivery room. I have been keeping that image in my mind and it is definitely something I want to experience.

Why Sasha Chose Her Surrogacy Agency

NF: How did you decide on ConceiveAbilities as your partner for your surrogacy journey?

SP: A close friend of mine was also considering surrogacy. Their reproductive endocrinologist was suggesting different agencies that she could look into working with. They recommended ConceiveAbilities as well as other agencies.

A different agency denied me immediately due to my postpartum depression. That is something that ConceiveAbilities was absolutely open to working through with me. From that moment on, I’ve been with ConceiveAbilities ever since. I really appreciate that they give each individual an opportunity to be looked at.

NF: We always encourage every woman thinking about becoming surrogate to apply, even if she feels like she may be disqualified from being a surrogate. Our team looks at the full picture of a woman and her medical history. We believe everybody should be assessed individually.

NF: How have your viewers been responding to your surrogacy journey this far?

SP: They have been very supportive. They are all in awe of us doing this. Honestly, I am too at times. Everyone is so supportive and impressed that we want to help someone else create a family through surrogacy. We actually have some followers of our channel that are currently surrogates at ConceiveAbilities too, which is really cool. It comes full circle for us.

Navigating the Surrogacy Process

NF: Can you walk our listeners through the surrogate process thus far with ConceiveAbilities?

SP: After I applied, I had a couple of screening calls with intake coordinators. I had a six-month period where I was on hold. I was getting off my antidepressants and we wanted to make sure that my body had worked everything out of my system. From there I was able to schedule our psychological screening. That was a three-hour phone call. Things moved really quickly after that. Finally, we were moved into the matching process, which is where we are at now.

Finding the Right Surrogacy Match

NF: Tell us about creating your matching profile and seeing those potential intended parents to match with.

SP: I had spent months gathering pictures that best represented our life. We used pictures of us on the lake and some of our family photos that were professionally done. Once it was time to get matched, I was on another level of excitement. I was so impatiently waiting to see who we would get matched with. Now that we are finally here, I am getting to put a face to the names. It’s so moving to hear about their journey and how they’ve overcome different parts of life. I cannot wait to meet them.

What Sasha Wanted in Her Intended Parent Match

NF: What is your hope for with your potential match?

SP: This relationship is absolutely the most important thing to me. I want us to be able to trust each other and be able to communicate well. I would like to build a relationship of trust so if something were to ever come up where they are concerned or I’m concerned there could be an open conversation. There is nothing more important than that.

NF: Are there any things that could be a deal breaker in your matching process?

SP: We were previously matched to a couple living outside of the US for nine months out of the year. I was so excited to get that match email. When I opened it up and saw they lived so far, my heart just dropped. I wanted to feel confident that they could quickly come to the delivery if anything unexpected happened. Unfortunately, that was not a match for us and we did not continue forward.

Most importantly, I don’t want this journey to feel transactional. In order for this to not feel transactional, I think a strong relationship and partnership is what needs to be there. I definitely want to have the confidence after our match meeting that we’ll be able to form a relationship. I don’t want to just meet now and then hand them a baby in nine months. I definitely want there to be an organically formed relationship that we can develop throughout the journey itself.

What Happens After a Surrogate Match

NF: What happens next after you are matched?

SP: After our meeting, we each have 24 hours to either confirm the match or let the match expert know that we didn’t feel like this was the right fit. The next steps would be the medical clearance and we will start the legal process as well. Max wants to be with me for every step of the medical clearance. Together we will fly to their fertility clinic to undergo testing to make sure I meet their clinic’s medical requirements. Medical clearance and legal clearance are huge steps.

The Most Rewarding Parts of Sasha’s Surrogacy Journey

NF: What have been some rewarding moments in your journey thus far?

SP: I get so giddy seeing prospective matches and imagining giving them a baby. I am just all in. I’m thinking about the end goal and I really am hoping that everything works out. We were in the infertility world for a short period of time so I know there’s people that wait so much longer and are never able to get to this point themselves. I hope everything works out and we get to the end goal, which is a baby. I already feel so happy and accomplished and we haven’t even gotten to any of the big stuff.

Sasha’s Advice for Women Considering Surrogacy

NF: What advice would you give anyone who is looking to become a surrogate?

SP: If you are thinking about it, do it. Especially if your family is complete, previous pregnancies were healthy, and you had no issues with labor and delivery. I would ask myself, “What’s stopping me? What’s holding me back?” If you can understand and overcome those answers, jump in and get started. ConceiveAbilities has been so supportive in the journey. The whole intake process and matching process have been next level. Everyone has been so helpful, so responsive, and so friendly. Every time I interact with someone, I notice myself smiling because everyone’s just been so nice throughout this entire process.

Being able to help someone achieve their dream family is so rewarding, even in just the matching process. I have no idea how I’d even be able to describe or explain to anyone listening or watching on our YouTube channel. Being able to help someone achieve that happiness — I can’t even imagine how great it’ll be.