Child, Give Me Your Hand is a classic book in the field of child psychology and is internationally acclaimed.
With many concrete examples, this book shows parents how to react correctly when conflicts or crises arise with their children to have a positive impact on their personality and self-esteem.
The right way for parents to communicate with their children
Respond to your child's feelings, not to his or her behavior.
When children are amid strong emotions, they can't listen to anyone.
Preaching and criticism create distance and resentment.
Praise your child's hard work, not the results, so that he or she is not always looking to others for approval, and so that he or she is more likely to be more persistent with difficult tasks.
Only praise your child's efforts and accomplishments, not their character and personality. Words of praise should show your child's accomplishments and truth, not the distorted distortions of his character.
We can express our anger at our children as long as we don't attack their character or personality. Sometimes simply expressing our feelings can get a child to stop misbehaving, and sometimes it may take three steps: explaining why we're angry, saying what's in our heart, and what we want the behavior to be.
When parents use promises to emphasize the meaning of their words, they are admitting that words that "we're not promised" are not to be trusted.
Promises can create unrealistic expectations for children.
Because life is not without its surprises, if something happens, the child will feel cheated and will think the parent cannot be trusted.
I'm sure parents are familiar with the phrase: "But you promised!"
If you want to teach your child the quality of honesty, then we must be prepared to listen to both the pleasant truth and the unpleasant truth.
You can't roughly teach your child manners; the good details of life can't be instilled by a sledgehammer.
It is very important not to call your child a thief or a lying child, or to predict a bad ending.
Make your child more responsible and pass on the right values
Everyone has a strong imprint of early childhood on their character, and childhood is important in the formation of personality.
It may not be involved in the formation of your values as a person, your outlook on life, or anything, but the influence is profound, or te most essential bit of it.
Parents have a great influence on the education of their children.
A young child is like a newborn sapling, and when parents can't take on the responsibility of pruning and care for it well, teachers have to give a double dose of care.
But even then, it is difficult to stop the bad influence of irresponsible adults unless the child is taken away from his parents.
At a time when some people find it incomprehensible that parents who are supposed to be respectable have become the "scourge" of their children.
Perhaps the first thing we need to understand is that no one in this world should be born loving you, not even your parents and children.
Along with quarrels and injuries, feelings will always be worn down and deteriorated, not only does the love of men and women need to be maintained, but family love is also when it is.
Even with the natural bonds of blood, the feelings between biological parents and children can be worn down and even depleted because of hurt feelings.
In "Child, Give Me Your Hand," we can see the respect and love for the weak.
The most important thing is mutual understanding. The ideas and methods presented in the book are not only applicable to communication with children.
The techniques from the psychological point of view, it should be said, apply to parents to their children and children to their parents.
Helping children deal with external emotional trauma
What parents should take care of when dealing with their children is to always show their good qualities and lead by example.
Don't assume that because your child is small, he or she is ignorant and just plain gullible, and expect to achieve your goals through rambling off-the-cuff promises and deceptions that are impossible to achieve.
Do not think that your child's tolerance in the face of a breach of trust is greater than yours, and do not think that your child has been hurt less than you, and do not forget that your child has followed the same example, and what he does in the future may be a replica of you!
Some children, when facing their parents, are just as dishonest and disobedient, but their parents never think they are disobedient.
On the other hand, other children, even if he obeys their parents, will always be considered deviant.
If children who are not encouraged are like seedlings in a long drought, those who are not only not encouraged but often beaten will only become thirsty grass.
The blow will only make the child into a coward, an incompetent person!
People who don't have much confidence in themselves want to be self-assured and increase their confidence by getting affirmation from others.
Others should not be stingy with words of praise either, certainly not perfunctory treatment.
And praise, right or wrong, only breeds the wrong fruit of self-righteousness and pretentiousness.
Children need to grow up with praise, like little angels, if you love them and treat them well, they will fly.
And if you love him but treat him badly, his wings will become too heavy to fly; if you don't love him and treat him badly, he will fall below the clouds and fall into the mud.
When your child feels distressed, scared, confused, or has painful emotions, when your child has some bad behavior, when your child shows distress and helplessness in his daily communication, don't give your evaluation and opinion hastily.
We should first understand the child's feelings, express our understanding and sympathy, and then discuss with the child at the right time to find out what the problem is and give our suggestions or opinions.
Sometimes love requires skill, and the methods of love need to be learned by heart.