Finding a Path Forward: Surrogate Morgan Meier Shares Why She Continued Her Surrogacy Journey After Pregnancy Loss

As told by Morgan Meier, ConceiveAbilities Surrogate

Morgan Meier knew surrogacy could come with unexpected challenges. But even with her background as a Nurse Practitioner, she never imagined that her first embryo transfer would result in a pregnancy loss at 10 weeks.

After grieving the loss and experiencing a failed second transfer, Morgan and her intended parents faced a difficult decision: walk away or try again. Together, they chose to continue — and on their third transfer, Morgan gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Meet Morgan: Her Surrogacy Story

Morgan is a mom of four and an Advanced Practice Nurse Practitioner with more than a decade of experience in healthcare. Yet even with her medical background, she says she was surprised by how much she still had to learn when she began her surrogacy journey.

Morgan was matched with her intended parents in 2021. Her first transfer resulted in pregnancy, however, they experienced an unexpected loss of pregnancy at 10 weeks. Together, Morgan and her intended parents chose to move forward and try again. Their second attempt resulted in a failed embryo transfer. Continuing onward, on their third transfer Morgan was able to successfully bring a healthy baby boy into the world in May 2023.

Why Morgan Decided to Become a Surrogate

What inspired you to become a surrogate?

I always think that if you can help, you should. I enjoy being pregnant and cannot imagine a world without my kids. Knowing that I could do something to change the path of people who want children but are having difficulties by becoming a surrogate was a no brainer for me.

An Unexpected Loss During Her Surrogacy Journey

Did you know going into surrogacy that unsuccessful transfers, and even loss of pregnancy, could be a possibility for you?

I knew it was going to be a possibility. But I always say that I had no idea how involved everything was going to be, even with my medical background as a Nurse Practitioner. I was shocked. I always thought that if it wasn’t going to work, it would be that the transfer wouldn’t take. It never would have occurred to me that I could have had a miscarriage. I never had any with my own pregnancies. That was really unexpected.

Finding a Way Forward After Loss

How did you move forward to heal after the loss of the pregnancy?

I had to remind myself that so much is out of your control, you can only do so much. All I could control is my headspace and the rest is out of my hands. I tried not to put any pressure on myself. I never wanted to feel like anything was my fault. I knew I did everything that I could.

Choosing to Continue the Surrogacy Journey

What did your conversation with your intended parents look like after that first loss?

I have a fabulous relationship with my intended mother. I always told her if they want to proceed with someone else, start over, and have a fresh start, I can appreciate that, one hundred percent. We decided together that we would try again. Although the journey was much longer and at times sadder and harder than I ever could have anticipated, the shared decision to move forward was wholeheartedly worth it to get my intended parents their little man. We became great friends and remain so to this day. We’ve visited one another several times and hope to continue in the future.

Our relationship, both during and after the journey, was probably the most important thing to me and has been the highlight of the entire experience.

Choosing to Try Again

How did you make the decision to try carrying again?

I never even really considered not doing it again. My goal was to help them have a baby. Right after the loss, I thought, “How soon can we do this again?” I didn’t want to delay my life or their lives. I was glad that we decided together to move forward.

I always had the end goal in mind. I did not want to have gone through a year’s worth of work without achieving a successful surrogacy journey.

Advice for Surrogates Experiencing Loss or Setbacks

What advice would you give to other surrogates who have experienced a similar journey as you?

You just have to let yourself feel the feelings and realize that you are not alone. So often, we only hear about successful stories and positive outcomes, but it’s important that you know that you are not the only one who has experienced setbacks. Not everyone posts the sad stuff.

It was sad and it was awful. There really isn’t anything anyone can say or do that would make me feel better. But I just knew that it would only get better with time and it did.

How Surrogacy Changed Morgan’s Life

How has becoming a surrogate changed your life?

Being a surrogate was something that I always wanted to do, so I feel a sense of gratitude for my body that I was able to help a family grow. Otherwise, it’s neat that such a small blip in my lifetime’s radar has changed the entire course of theirs.

What are some of your final takeaways from this experience?

This is not what I pictured my surrogacy journey to look like. I didn’t picture this being my story. I just really wanted to help someone, I wanted to successfully do this for someone else. That being said, I would do it all over again to get the end result of being able to give someone else a family. It’s hard when you are in it. But you have to have hope and know that you are giving a family an opportunity that they otherwise would not have had.

A Resource for Navigating Pregnancy Loss

If you or someone you know has experienced loss during a surrogacy journey, our podcast episode “Navigating the Emotional Complexities of Surrogacy and Loss” features mental health professional Kristy Miller, MSW, LSW, PMH-C. Kristy and host Nazca Fontes discuss grief, failed embryo transfers, pregnancy loss, and the importance of emotional support throughout the journey.